This morning I was on my way out the door to go to work. I had my hands full with my work laptop and a couple of bookbags (I carry way too much junk with me to the office in the morning). As I stepped out the door, a cardinal decided to land on the railing along the steps. He sat briefly on the railing, studied me for a moment, and then fluttered off, apparently not particularly interested in me or the fact that I was close enough to grab him should I have chosen to do so. This was a rather pleasant surprise.

He landed in a smallish tree in the front yard along the walkway, and about three feet from him was a blue jay. While the cardinal was not especially bothered by my being there, the blue jay was quite agitated.

The red and blue splashes of color in an otherwise green tree were a nice start to the morning.

I was approached by a coworker about getting an account on the Linux system this morning. I am feeling a bit of an evil streak this afternoon - I am considering setting his shell to /bin/false as a joke to see how long it takes him to approach me. He and I have an excellent working relationship, so I can abuse him to no end and he'll play along, although he is better at practical jokes than I am. Hmm...maybe I should just give him a normal account and be nice.

Well, I wasn't. Until recently. I don't like it.

I am a tech writer. That is the job for which I trained and studied, that is where my strength lies, and that is what I want to do.

It started as a small web site for a specific project need, HTML code only. It then required a little JavaScript. Then we added in a Linux machine. Added Apache. PHP. MySQL too.

So, instead of being a tech writer, I am now a Linux sys admin/web developer/database admin. Why the management decided to toss me into such a role, instead of hiring someone else with the knowledge already, is beyond me.

This whole thing has me considering leaving the workforce to return to school. I have been giving serious consideration to getting an MA in English, and this very well could be the catalyst to force that decision.

In a fit of adventurous curiosity, I purchased for myself a pair of mangoes at the grocery this past week, and I remembered them last night after dinner. I've not had many mangoes, and this was a grand experiment. Without a clear plan for what to do with them, I cut one in half and scooped out the pulp with a spoon. Such was dinner.

Question: What's a good way to use a mango in preparing a main course? I am thinking that mango and chicken are a good match, but I am not sure how I would combine these?

The pattern has returned to me, and I am waking up prior to 5am again. I am not sure how this started this time, and it is not affecting my work day (yet), but it is something that bothers me a little bit.

This early time gives me opportunities to do some things I otherwise do not take the time to do for myself, such as reading. I do enjoy a good book and in the evenings my time is frequently occupied with other activities that take priority. I think I would rather have the sleep, though. ;)

A few years ago I was given a Cross fountain pen as a graduation gift from high school. This pen has been a constant companion, helping me through my courses in college and allowing me to craft a few letters and papers outside of my coursework. (Some things just cannot be done with Word and require old-fashioned handwriting.)

The beauty of fountain pens is that they have a very unique feel to them when you use them to write, lost on a ball-point or felt-based pen. It glides over the paper in a very comfortable way, almost without resistance but still leaving one feeling connected to the paper. Allowing someone else to use the fountain pen changes the way it writes.

This morning, I dropped my pen and it snapped the nib. I likely can get a new tip for it, but it disturbs me that this happened at all.

Outside my office this morning, the grounds crew did a marvelous job of cutting the lawn, and when I went out for lunch this morning I was immediately struck with the familiar smell of freshly cut grass. That smell triggers so many childhood memories for me, from watching my father push the mower to watching the robins descend upon the lawn shortly after he finished up. It is a sharp, crisp, clean smell that will always mean summer to me.

There is another summer smell to which I have had lots of exposure in recent days. With summer, one gets frequent thunderstorms (well, we do here, anyway). Thunderstorms bring with them the scent of ozone, that dusty odor about which I wondered for years. Because of the association I have made with ozone and downpours, I always feel cleansed when I catch that smell.

This is a good day.

I have in my yard a single rose bush. I have shown it no attention or care for some time, and yet it continues to bring roses to me in spite of my lack of effort. This spring, the bush turned black and dry, and I figured that it had finally decided that I was not worthy of the beautiful flowers it gives to me every year. Surely, I thought, this rose bush has died - there are very few green leaves on it, and most of the shoots are dry and brittle.

This morning I looked out the window, and there is a single splash of bright pink in my yard against the green background of grass - my rose bush has brought to me another beautiful gift. I had not noticed any buds (from my lack of attention), and the rose that is there this morning is a bud that has just opened.

I broke out the ice cream maker and made a pint of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, just for me! I can only make a pint at a time, as I have a very small hand-crank ice cream maker, so I don't have to worry about making too much... Anyway, life is rather nice in my house right now. :)

Have you ever suddenly had a craving for something you have not had in some time, yet you have no clue why that thing is on your mind? So it is with me this morning. I want a funnel cake, like you can get at state fairs and smaller county festivals. For whatever reason, those just sound particularly good this morning. Yes, I know they are not good for you, but I am not terribly worried about that right now - I want one.

The following is a song that is in my head and in my heart this afternooon.

All the things you said to me today
Changed my perspective in every way
These things count to mean so much to me
Into my faith
You and your baby

It's out there
It's out there
It's out there
If you want me
I'll be here
It's out there
It's out there
It's out there
If you want me
I'll be here

I'll be dreaming my dreams with you
I'll be dreaming my dreams with you
And there's no other place
That I'd lay down my face
I'll be dreaming my dreams with you

It's out there
It's out there
It's out there
If you want me
I'll be here
It's out there
It's out there
It's out there
If you want me
I'll be here

I'll be dreaming my dreams with you
I'll be dreaming my dreams with you
And there's no other place
That I'd lay down my face
I'll be dreaming my dreams with you

Dreaming my dreams with you
I'll be dreaming my dreams with you
And there's no other place
That I'd lay down my face
I'll be dreaming my dreams with you

Something to which I have grown accustomed is the ambient sounds of the city at night - cars passing by at all hours, the occasional siren in the distance, car alarms. Even the house itself has its own sounds, such as the occasional shift or creak.

While I was visiting my parents, I was reintroduced to a different set of sounds in the night, many of which I had forgotten. One of those sounds is the tapping of rain on a tin roof, which does wonders for putting one to sleep. Another was the occasional owl. But without question the most unusual sound, and by far my favorite, was that of the whip-poor-wills in the woods surrounding the house. Their song is mournful and chilling at the same time, very repetitive and distinct. It is a sound that I likely will not soon forget again.

Every night, except on nights when thunderstorms drowned out everything else, the whip-poor-wills would start up and chant for a good part of the evening. I would sit on the old swing on the front porch, just to listen to them.

The night has its own music. I love music and I have spent hours in front of my keyboard, trying to nail down a melody in my head. But no amount of keyboarding, no singing I could ever attempt, will ever compete with the whip-poor-wills in the night woods.

I am used to being in my house day after day, so there are things that escape my attention that others probably notice. Being gone for a few weeks, though, has cleared away my perception of my environment, and I made some interesting discoveries.

First, my bedroom has an air freshener in it that I had forgotten was there. When I walked into my bedroom I could tell it was definitely still working. So, my bedroom smells like flowers. This is good.

I have a creaky floor board in the hall. It is very faint and I had not paid much attention to it, but now I can hear it loud and clear. This is NOT good.

I have decorated in entirely too much green. :(

Maybe I need to get out more.........

One of the things I missed while I was gone was eating at Chipotle, arguably one of my favorite places. The closest one to me was over 70 miles away. This evening, I broke the dry spell and endulged myself in a fit of shameless gluttony.

Another thing I missed was my fat bunny. He was in the yard this afternoon. It was good to see him out there.

I missed my keyboard too. I played for a while this evening, mostly just to fill the house with music again.

Tomorrow I get to catch up with my coworkers. I am looking forward to that, although I cannot say that I enjoy the prospects of getting back to work.

I am finally back home. I had a very easy drive from my parents' to mine, and overall I am feeling well rested. I have dealt with my problem and I believe I have conquered it, although I am not ready to discuss it openly yet. That said, I have addressed it in depth with the responsible party and we have come to an understanding, I think.

One nice thing occurred while I was in Maryland - the guy I have been dating (I guess I should consider him my boyfriend at this point) took the time to drive all the way out to see me and to meet my family. I was shocked at how well he clicked with my family. He has expressed an interest in my coming to meet his parents around Christmastime, which will require some careful planning as they live in Belgium. We shall see what transpires as time progresses.

Thank you, everyone, for your patience. For those of you who wrote emails to me, I will be slowly catching up after I get resettled again.