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And Microsoft's Surface line (Which is intended to directly compete with Mac laptops) also has soldered/glued everything. Won a Surface Pro 7 at a conference a couple years ago. Was excited til I got it home, realized it had 4GB RAM and you can't upgrade it. My wife is happy with it, gave it to her. For me, it was worthless. I stick to Dell's Precision line of laptops - upgradable and the power of a desktop machine. With fans!!
"will make the fans spin faster (and louder)" -- Uh, we're talking Macs, so no fans, no matter how much it would make sense, they just aren't "cool enough" for fruit-fuckers.
"IRIX, Solaris, Tru64, AIX, or HPUX" -- Why would I want to waste my time with those dinosaurs? If you can't get performance out of Linux or Windows then you're just not very good at systems.
Brings to mind the Skrillex video where his Mac overheats and shuts down in the middle of a concert. I like fans, they are there for a purpose. If you're just going to run a word processor, you probably don't need a fan, but if you want to do big-boy stuff, you gotta dump Mac.