It's hard to believe that it's (much) more dangerous as a slashing implement than most of the other keys on the same keychain.
From the wikipedia article on the P-38:
Samuel R. Delany mentions in his memoirs that women in his era (the late 1950s and early 1960s) often carried a P-38 to rip the necks of muggers or rapists.
I'd suggest also using stone slabs. Water can do serious damage to paper, and don't get me started on fire hazards. Good old Stone Slabs resist both of those really well. I'm not sure what the write speed is, however, so you'll probably need to hire many stonecutters to work in parallel.
A math problem. My favorite. I don't know much about stone cutters but lets assume they can write one bit every 2 seconds. Thats 1 byte in 16 seconds. The internet archive is (4.5 x 1,125,899,906,842,624) 5,066,549,580,791,808 (5 quadrillion) bytes. That works out to 81,064,793,292,668,928 (81 quadrillion) seconds or about 2,570,547,732 (2.5 billion) years. That is far to long for their stringent 2 month backup cycle. They would need 15,423,286,395 (15.4 billion) stone cutters to keep schedule assuming they had unlimited stone. Last time I checked there were only between 6 and 7 billion people with only a small fraction of them being stone cutters. That leaves but one solution. Force the web developers to become stone cutters. This would not only increase the work force but also reduce the amount needed to backup because fewer people will be making more web pages to backup.
Games? Here's a dollar, kid. Go buy yourself a nice candy bar while the adults talk.
This coming from the guy whose sig is "Buckle your ROFL belt, we're in for some LOLs."
The key elements in human thinking are not numbers but labels of fuzzy sets. -- L. Zadeh