That would be "turns Blackberries into iPhones," if you were going to stick with the whole Jesus "water to wine," thing.

Looks like someone failed the English part of the SAT.

Scene: Inside Lexus Car

Driver: (turns on ignition, car starts)
Lexus: Good morning Driver 1, thank you for choosing lexus. Today's commute is brought to you by McDonalds, why don't you stop in on your way to work and get a McGriddle and McCoffee?
Driver: (backs out of driveway, heads down the road) No thanks car, It'll just be to work and back today.
Lexus: (tone of car changes to be deeper and more aggressive) I'm afraid I can't let you do that Driver 1. (car auto steers to nearest McDonalds, forces driver to purchase McGriddle and McCoffee)

Let me know when they get around to making a Falcon Punch!