Oh god, it has been a decade since the Onion has been funny. :-(

It would really piss me off if it didn't consider me a woman. I don't need billboards screaming that I'm a goddamned tranny to the world. Being 6'2" is bad enough as it is.

So, don't buy that game, or if you want to use a Wii for homebrew, buy another for games. Nintendo isn't stopping you from modding your system. They simply say that if you want software upgrades, you have to accept their terms.

It isn't like they load it in the background. It isn't like they don't tell you what they are doing. It isn't like they don't give you the option to keep everything like it always was. This is pretty tame compared to other companies' tactics to combat piracy, and I see nothing ethically wrong with it.

Nintendo warns you about what they are going to do before they do it and give you the option to ignore the update. I think this is a fair compromise.

Robots are hot.

The Church has a lot more important things to apologize for. In fact, they could skip apologizing for anything for all I care if they would stop doing horrible things now.

No. Wait. He's dead. He doesn't care at all what you do to his bones.

When I agree with Scalia and Thomas and no one else on a Supreme Court decision. You cannot change the rules of incarceration. There is a sentence. If you want to hold prisoners longer make the sentence longer. You could even make the possibility of additional comfinement, but you can't make the sentence a court gave them any longer without a new trial.

Well I guess you can now. Who the fuck cares about the Constitution? No one. No one who matters anyway.

Yes, but the best outcome possible for this kind of study is "inconclusive." There is never a "No" just outcomes that are not statistically significant. Basically, how you "disprove" a link to a disease is by doing a bunch of studies. When the majority come out without any statistically significant link, we can be more and more sure that there is no significant link.

My imagination is hotter and heavier than a thousand centerfolds.

Don't try to change who you are for a boss. If you are happy and treat others with respect, your personality will be fine.

Charisma is an elusive quality. I don't know if it can be learned.

And it is not like the public can't oversee the current trial. This should be done for every trial it applies to.

the day is still 24 hours. Are three hours of video games more detrimental to their bodies than 6 to 8 hours of school classes?

We've been looking for 50 years, and... we got nothin'.

So let's see if an army of tinfoil hat types and Star Trek nerds can find enough false patterns in the static to ensure our job security, because we're worried Obama wants to derail our gravy train. Something about "results." Don't people know that SETI is about giving hope to the world that we can find aliens that we can't communicate with in any way. Imagine what we could learn from the broadcast of an interstellar Jay Leno. The mind boggles!

It was also due to the fact that Nintendo is a very sound and prudent company fiscally.