I updated to iOS4 because Apple 'recommended' it for my phone. When iOS4 turned out to be slow as hell on an iPhone 3G, I tried to downgrade and found that Apple, in its great and infinite wisdom, had intentionally made any downgrading of an iPhone as impossible as they technologically could manage, because to downgrade an iPhone would be to question the idea that Apple always has all its users' best interests at heart. And of course, as we all know here in this wonderful and highly intelligent Slashdot thread, questioning Apple's blanket benevolence toward all users is just preposterous - something only engaged in by Conspiracy Theorists!

Yes, that's it of course. All the thousands of people complaining about slow phones, thus creating worldwide spikes and Google graphs, must all have just dropped their phones, or turned them on and off too many times, or operated them in a sauna. Something that Android users don't do because they are basement-dwelling geeks with no lives. And I have already agreed with you that solid state electronics are incredibly vulnerable to damage from constant use. This doesn't appear to happen as much to Android users, because... well, they simply must not be using their phones as much. Because they suck. Because they weren't designed by Apple. Which always has the best interests of its users at heart. This is so easy. I could pwn Apple haters on this page all day, every day. Join me! Oh waitÃ" you already have.

How dare you accuse me of lying! If I were lying, then that would mean that Apple defenders' excuses are actually full of shit, and everyone knows that this is an impossibility, because Apple always has our best interests at heart.

You're totally right, I shouldn't fall into these conspiracy theories, like believing my phone got instantly slower with iOS4 and believing everyone else who says the same thing. Instead I should believe that someone is hacking with my perception of time. Because that would be the only way for it not to be conspiracy theory. Obviously I should just ignore the evidence of my senses and my experience and believe your unsupported suppositions about what compiler options Apple uses for each phone image, and whether they are appropriate. Nobody actually has a clue as to what is the answer to that question, but I should just trust Apple because they obviously have my best interests at heart. To believe anything else of a corporation is obviously a conspiracy theory, as I have been saying all along.

You know what? I never considered that. You're right, the probability of Apple misuing the software locks that have on our devices to push near-irrevocable updates that slow us down, something that is completely within their power and they would actually have to expend effort not to do, is approximately equal to the probability of Google predicting that someone would write an article like this and pre-emptively messing with their search algorithms, just on the off-chance that somebody might do a study like this. Every Apple defender should remember, when talking about Google. Apple might have verified near-total control of your device, and it might be plainly obvious to them how they could abuse it, but you should trust them blindly not to, because they are just that trustworthy. Apple has your best interests at heart. On the other hand, you should NOT trust Google blindly because maybe they are messing with searches they have no idea who is going to perform or why. Google might be psychic and be able to tell in advance what kinds of articles people are going to write and mess with search algorithms to throw them off. The mere outside chance possibility of this is enough because Google obviously does not have your best interests at heart. You see, it's all about trust. When you have trust in a company, you will let them in your underwear. When you don't, you don't even want their car in your neighbourhood.

Nothing new to this thread, either, but hey-- who reads, anymore, am I right?

Wow that's a great example, PopeRatzo, because the chintzy little ncurses-like OS on the original iPods is totally comparable to the UNIX-flavour OS X on a smartphone computer. I also hear original Sony Walkmans still work, so that and the original iPod thing totally disprove any conspiracy theories about companies abusing their trusted access to your device to try to pump sales. A corporation would NEVER do that, obvs

No way does Microsoft do the same things as Apple, because there's no way that Microsoft could ever be equally as wonderful as Apple. Whatever evil thing that Microsoft does, that might -seem- similar to something Apple is doing...? I guarantee you that Apple is doing that thing differently in some way, that makes it actually virtuous, and for our own good, because Apple has our best interests at heart.

You're right. I should just pick one. It's not like Apple recommended one without warning me about any tradeoffs and then did everything in their power to make it impossible for me to take it back. Apple wouldn't do that to anyone intentionally. Apple cares, cheesybagelman! Agree or disagree?

You're right. My bad. It must be just me and the thousands of other users that have complained about this online for years affected graphs and whatnot. We are just isolated cases, of course. There is no performance issue. Nothing to see here, folks! Move along.

You sure showed me.

Well of course Apple ate the dingos. Because that babies are future users, and Apple always has the user's best interests at heart. For someone who claims to understand what I'm being, you oddly failed to predict that Apple eating dingos is actually a very good thing.

Totally. And to think, some idiots actually TRUST Apple's update recommendations. I mean, I know Apple wouldn't recommend anything against my interests, just to make more money, because that would be a conspiracy theory. But still, everybody knows that recommended updates are supposed to make computers run crappier. It's just common sense. Sure, Apple's products are aimed at the not necessarily computer-savvy, but there's not savvy, and there's being a TOTAL LOSER by trusting Apple.

Absolutely. It has to be the third-party apps. After all, from a standing no-apps all-memory-released start, it takes my iPhone 3G with iOS4 only about 5 seconds to open the keyboard, and only 10 seconds to open the built-in iPod player. I count myself lucky I'm not waiting minutes every time. I mean, at least it's better than loading from a floppy. Gotta be those third-party apps, mm-hmm.

Yes. Here's a good one. Backdoors aren't 'backdoors' when Apple has the keys. They don't exist, understand? There is just a wall there. No door.