Idle Stories for 2010

New App Mixes New Drinks With What You Have 127
Periodic Table Etched Onto a Single Hair 59
Real-Life Frogger Ends In Hospital Visit 314
Tales From the Tech Trenches 99
German Kindergartens Ordered To Pay Copyright For Songs 291
Solar Panels For Your Pants 81
London Neighborhood Tops Both "Healthy" and Binge Drinking Lists 3
States Letting Students Opt Out of P.E. 18
Satellite-Based Laser Hunts Woodpeckers From Space 53
New Zealand Government Opens UFO Files 100
8-Year-Olds Publish Scientific Bee Study 174
A Klingon Christmas Carol 170
DIY Gyroscope Messenger As Christmas Gift 0
10 Geeky Gingerbread Creations 1
Oregon To Let Students Use Spell Check on State Exams 235
Woman Sues Google Over Street View Shots of Her Underwear 417
Bicycle Designer Builds a Beer Bike 4
Air Force Sonic Booms Ignite Crocodiles' Sex Drives 61
Swiss Bank Has 43-Page Dress Code 212
Nigerian Email Scam Victim Sues Bank, Loses Appeal 312
Thief Posts His Photo To Facebook Victim's Account 222
American Redneck Society Formed 17
Designer Creates Magnetic Lingerie 8
Scientists Identify Head of France's King Henry IV 64
Survey Shows That Fox News Makes You Less Informed 1352
Slow Candy Sales Mean Trip To Hawaii Is Rerouted To Fargo 5
The Year In Robot News 38
Mother, Daughter Face Drug Charges For Ibuprofen At School 34
Skunk Ruins Toys for Poor Children 3
Julian Assange's Online Dating Profile Leaked 334
Inmate Gets Kosher Meals Due To Festivus Belief 9
Archaeologists Find 2,400-Year-Old Soup 108
4chan Declares War On Snow 201
Stunts, Idiocy, and Hero Hacks 208
Italian Hospital Asks Doctors Not To Snort Cocaine At Work 2
Icicles Kill Record Numbers of Russians 5
Detroit Government To Abandon More Than 20% of City 6
When Computers Go Wrong 250
IT Worker's Revenge Lands Her In Jail 347
Lingerie Company Recycles Bras Into Insulation 2
Walmart Stores Get CCTV-Enabled, Breathalyzin' Wine Vending Machines 135
The First Truly Honest Privacy Policy 119
Man Sues Rockstar Saying GTA:SA Is Based On His Life 124
Caffe Offers a Reindeer Menu For Christmas 3
George Lucas to Resurrect Dead Movie Stars? 296
Google Wants To Take Away Your Capslock Key 968
Hi-Tech Nativity Security 110
Corporations Hiring Hooky Hunters 610
Download Firefox, Feed a Red Panda 90
One Night Stands May Be Genetic 240
Panda Dung Statue Sold for $45,000 5
Extreme Criminal Court Makeover 14
Kentucky Announces Creationism Theme Park 648
Smart Wallets React To Spending By Shrinking 98
Women Hide Stolen Goods In Their Body Fat 7
Denver Bomb Squad Takes Out Toy Robot 225
Aquarium Uses Eel Powered Christmas Lights 96
British Aircraft Carrier For Sale On Auction Site 224
Major League Dreidel 2
Advent Calendar For Geeks 65
Cool Futuristic CityScape Sculpted From Drill Bits 6
Student Googles Himself, Finds He's Accused of Murder 184
Beer Made Just for Dogs 50
8-Year-Old Receives Patent 142
Apple Sues Steve Jobs Figurine Maker Over Likeness 172
Fruit Company Plays Mozart to Bananas 4
University of Maryland Starts Competitive Eating Team 2
Cambridge Computer IDs World's Most Boring Day 186
iRacing World Champion Gets a Shot At the Real Thing 168
Linux Radio 141
Woman Claims Ownership of the Sun 17
Chicago Using Coyotes To Fight Rodents 222
Botnet Spammer Gets Just 18 Months For Being Odd 83
The Genome of Your Thanksgiving Supper 84
Stranded California Man Too 'Embarrassed' To Use Phone 33
Students Banned From Bringing Pencils To School 426
Pumpkin Pie increases Male Sex Drive 173
Underwear Invention Protects Privacy At Airport 325
Boy Finds £2.5M Gold Locket With Metal Detector 169
US Embassy Categorizes Beijing Air Quality As 'Crazy Bad' 270
High School Plans To Open Drug Clinic 16
Man Offered $150k for Exploding Jar of Fruit 30
200 Students Admit Cheating After Professor's Online Rant 693
Anti-Smartphone Phone Launched For Technophobes 437
TSA Pats Down 3-Year-Old 1135
Harry Potter Actor Sings the Elements Song 4
Debt Collectors Using Facebook To Embarrass Those Who Owe 266
USB Is the Devil's Connection 474
The World's Smallest Legible Font 280
Professor Has Camera Surgically Implanted In the Back of His Head 119
New Castle Councilman Calls Cops On Boys' Cupcake Sale 7
2010 Geek IQ Test 245
Harvard Warns About Giant Robber 7
Man Forced To Eat Own Beard 16
A Yacht That Gives That Sinking Feeling 3
OKC Mayor Says No To Lingerie Football 1
WSJ Warnings About Cookies Carry Cookies 45
Paper Airplane Touches Edge of Space, Glides Back 158
Lizard Previously Unknown To Science Found On Vietnam Menu 133
UK Politician Arrested Over Twitter 'Stoning Joke' 422
Zombie Safehouse Design Competition 1
Feeling Upset? Look At Some Meat 155
Nintendo Seeks To Trademarks "It's On Like Donkey Kong" 183
Amazon Patents Bad Gift Protection 210
Sex Drugs and Texting 287
Real-Life Gadgets For Real-Life Superheroes 391
Twinkie Diet Helps Nutrition Professor Lose 27 Pounds 35
Pee On Your Phone STD Test 208
The Placebo Effect Not Just On Drugs 824
Factory To Make Biodiesel From Chicken Fat 207
Disguised Asian Male Caught At Canadian Airport 19
Researchers Race To Recover Radioactive Rabbits 145
World's Northernmost Town Gets Nightlights 144
Indian Woman Completes Ten-Year Hunger Strike 8
Bus Company Says Thin Drivers Deserve Better Pay 54
Harry Potter Blamed For India's Disappearing Owls 252
Denver Rejects UFO Agency To Track Aliens 80
Man Dies of Caffeine Overdose 5
Igloo Created Out of Fridges In Hamburg 1
Dentists Offer Halloween Candy Buyback Program 1
Big Brother Barbie 10
Car Produced With a 3D Printer 257
UK Police Get Guide to Arresting a Witch 1
Debt Collectors Accused of Running Fake Courtroom 3
Typewriter Hacked To Play Zork 77
Texas Supreme Court Cites Mr. Spock 345
Ozzy Osbourne's Genome Reveals Some Neanderthal Lineage 151
British Pizza Chain To Install Cones of Silence 122
Mount Everest Gets 3G Service 150
1928 Time Traveler Caught On Film? 685
School Children Are Now Too Fat to Fit In Class Chairs 84
Aussie Kids Foil Finger Scanner With Gummi Bears 303
Pay Or Else, News Site Threatens 549
The Empire Strikes Back Vader Costume For Sale 167
The Home-Built Dark Knight Batmobile 87
FBI and NYPD Officers Sent On Museum Field Trip 70
Spanish Prostitutes Wear Reflective Vests To Avoid Fines 0
NASA Parodies Reach New Level of Awkwardness 28
Man Tries to Stay Awake 40 Days 30
Mystery of the 'Chupacabra' May Be Solved 94
Bible.com Investor Sues Company For Lack Of Profit 181
Drug-Sniffing Dogs For Parents 8
Crocodile Crashes Aircraft In Congo 13
Jeep Wrangler Call of Duty Black Ops Edition 102
Physicists Discover Universal "Wet-Dog Shake" Rule 97
Law Firm Opens Drive-Thru Window 12
Pirate Parties Plan To Shoot Site Into Orbit 301
Japan's Latest Rockstar Is a 3D Hologram 305
Meg Whitman Campaign Shows How Not To Use Twitter 147
Australian Visitors Must Declare Illegal Porn To Customs Officers 361
Woman Develops Peanut Allergy After Lung Transplant 146
Man Served Restraining Order Via Facebook 29
'Officer Bubbles' Sues YouTube Commenters Over Mockery 594
2012 Mayan Calendar 'Doomsday' Date Might Be Wrong 144
Thief Returns Stolen Laptop Contents On USB Stick 352
Ontario School Bans Wi-Fi 287
UN May Ban Blotting Out the Sun 377
Spain Holds First National Siesta Championship 11
Cooking With Your USB Ports 188
Background Noise Affects Taste of Foods 79
The World's Most Expensive iPhone 20
Study Shows Babies Think Friendly Robots Are Sentient 159
Denver Airport Overrun by Car-Eating Rabbits 278
UK Police Force Posts All Its Calls On Twitter 66
Badgers Digging Up Ancient Human Remains 172
Judge Has Courtroom Quote the Legal Scholar Yoda 1
Dogs Can Be Pessimistic 99
Sisters Stage Combat Tournament To Find Men To Date 1
Baby Born In Hotel Lobby Receives Free Accommodation for Life 1
Pirate Electrician Supplied Power To 1,500 Homes 373
Hong Kong McDonald's To Offer Wedding Packages 20
Pope Says Technology Causes Confusion Between Reality and Fiction 779
Study Finds Most Would Become Supervillians If Given Powers 419
Need Directions? Pull My Finger 1
Russian Army Upgrades Its Inflatable Weapons 197
Oklahoma Postpones Teach-Through-Rap Program 2
The World's Fastest Lawnmower 20
Oxford Expands Library With 153 Miles of Shelves 130
Top Reason for Facebook Unfriending Is Too Many Useless Posts 300
Inventor Creates Flotation Device Bazooka 144
Firefighters Let House Burn Because Owner Didn't Pay Fee 2058
Robot Drawn Caricatures 29
Man Drowns After GPS Guides Him Into a Lake 2
The Bomb Squad Olympiad Starts Today 43
Court Rules Against Woman Who Didn't Like Search Results 173
New York To Spend $27.5 Million Uncapitalizing Street Signs 322
Spanish Fathers Entitled To Breastfeeding Leave 1
Safety Commission To Rule On Safety of Rulers In Science Kits 446
Govt To Bomb Guam With Frozen Mice To Kill Snakes 229
Researchers Test Space Beer 113
RIM Doesn't Want 200 Fart Apps 244
Study Finds the Perfect Ratio of Attractiveness 176
Las Vegas Hotel Vdara an Accidental Death Ray 218
Man To Spend Every Christmas In Jail For Next 5 Years 0
"Super Monkey" Security Force Used At Commonwealth Games 66
Game Reviewers Face Odd Bribery From Publishers 148
Doctors Save Premature Baby Using Sandwich Bag 246
Horse Track Hosts Bikini Race 4
ATMs That Dispense Gold Bars Coming To America 482
Protesters Brick Up Bank Entrance 1
Segway UK Boss Dies After Driving Off Cliff 413
Linux Monument Unveiled in Russia 15
Selling Incandescent Light Bulbs As Heating Devices 557
Deodorant Sought to Save New Zealand's Native Birds 102
AMD Offers Women Geek Dating Advice 269
In Case of Emergency, Please Remove Your Bra 123
Thieves Use Vacuum To Siphon Cash From Safes 173
Swedes Cast Write-In Votes for SQL Injection, Donald Duck 210
Marijuana Grower Uses Rhinoceros to Guard Pot 0
San Francisco Taco Truck Earns Zagat Top Mark 0
UK Man Prevented From Finding Chipped Pet Under Data Protection Act 340
Paleontologists Discover World's Horniest Dinosaur 109
Former Military Personnel Claim Aliens Are Monitoring Our Nukes 498
Michael Jackson Themed MMO In the Works 180
Hundreds of Crocodiles Escape Mexican Refuge After Hurricane 0
Man Opens Pub Inside Funeral Home 0
Today's Children Are Officially Potty Mouths 449
6.5-Foot-Long Anaconda Found In a Toilet 3
YouTube Videos On Display At the Guggenheim 19
Goat On Roof Trademark 3
Terry Pratchett's Self-Made Meteorite Sword 188
Opossums Overrun Brooklyn, Fail To Eliminate Rats 343
Pope's Astronomer Would Love To Baptize an Alien 308
Man Claims Caffeine Made Him Kill 6
Stewart and Colbert Plan Competing D.C. Rallies 696
Senate Nominee Claims Scientists Have Created Mice With Human Brains 11
Woman Trademarks Name and Threatens Sites Using It 273
The New High-Tech 'Popemobile' 4
Man Serves Fried Beer 9
IBM Patents Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Movies 187
Police Publish 'An Introduction To PEDO BEAR' 324
Harry Potter Theme Park Supersizes Rides 3
Falsely Arrested Woman Told To Thank Police 2
Steve Jobs Tries To Sneak Shurikens On a Plane 661
You're Never More Than 115 Miles From McDonald's 55
UK Teen Banned From US Over Obscene Obama Email 555
Australian Politician Caught Viewing Porn 150
Lawyer Smokes Pages From the Koran and Bible 138
Frustrated Reporter Quits After Slow News Day 178
Burglary Ring Used Facebook Places To Find Targets 152
Microsoft Holds iPhone Funeral Event 311
(Don't) Make Your Own Fire Tornado 86
A Twinkie Deconstructed 2
Archbishop Bans Pop Music At Funerals 38
What Happens When You Let 100 Cats Loose Inside An IKEA? 29
Police Called To Stop a Man Giving Away Money 4
World's First Transcontinental Anesthesia 83
Ganja Yoga Combines Marijuana and Meditation 1
Optical Speedbumps Create Illusion of Little Girl 9
The Real 'Stuff White People Like' 286

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And it should be the law: If you use the word `paradigm' without knowing what the dictionary says it means, you go to jail. No exceptions. -- David Jones