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Books

Journal: Do I Really Need This?

Journal by luvsbway

So apparently Amazon thinks I need a little help with my swearing, as the first thing listed on my recommendations list today is this.

A passage from the book:
John: Mary, would you like to attend the opera this evening?
Mary: F*cking-A. should I wear my black dress?
John: Why the f*ck not?
Mary: F*cked if I know-Oh, f*ck! I just remembered. It got f*cked up in the wash.
John: Well, f*ck the opera. Let's stay home and f*ck.
Mary: Good f*cking idea.

User Journal

Journal: Stick em' up!

Journal by luvsbway

I'm a newbie here to the Slashdot world, having been introduced to it by heliocentric. At his prodding I think it is time for my first journal entry.

My current line of work places me at a counseling agency where I work in what is called an Employee Assistance Program. It is a benefit companies offer their employees that gives them free counseling. We have 5 companies that are banks and for these clients we offer something called CISM (Critical Incident Stress Management). It's basically if they get robbed we charge them $200-$300 an hour to have someone come out and perform this service to their employees.

I have no background in psychology, in fact my degree is in Television Production but after a 2 day training workshop, which basically consisted of a guy talking to a room full of nurses, firemen, police and selected others we were CISM certified. So now I had to sit back and wait for the first bank robbery call to come in. About a month later I got a call on a Friday afternoon that a bank in downtown Harrisburg had been robbed. Off I went to my first bank robbery. It took me 15 minutes to find a parking space, the news crew beat me there and then I had to convince the people inside that I was suppose to be there and they should let me in. This bank gets robbed about every month so these people are pretty used to it. I do my counseling with them, hand out a few brochures and tell them if they need counseling to call us. So now I have my feet wet and am anticipating my next robbery.

Last Sunday I am home watching the news and see that another bank we have a contract with was robbed. I carry an "on call" phone and have yet to receive the call. About an hour later I get the call from the head HR person and find out I know more about the robbery than her. The next morning I show up to do my counseling. This robbery involved a demanding female bank robber and a gun. My other robbery was just an idiot with a note. As the week progresses I see that this woman robs 2 more banks in the area, none of which we have contracts with, darn it. They did eventually catch her.

The best thing about doing these bank robberies is the extra money I make. I get paid an extra $75 a week to be on-call and when I have to respond I make $50 an hour to be there with a guaranteed 2 hour min. Lately there have been a lot of robberies in the area but what frustrates me is that they are not robbing the banks we have contracts with. Come on convicts of the world, rob a bank for me, I need the money.

"Now this is a totally brain damaged algorithm. Gag me with a smurfette." -- P. Buhr, Computer Science 354

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