Journal: The FuckSlashdotNow Report issue #1: Nested Mode

**BEGIN**

This is the first issue of The FuckSlashdotNow Report, and more installments will hopefully be written on a regular basis. Thanks for reading, friends, and keep watching the skies! Permission is granted to reproduce this message in any form, as long as the entire message is kept intact, from the **BEGIN** to the *EOT*

ISSUE 1

With the announcement of Slashdot subscriptions, the question becomes "what is the most fucking effective way to fuck Slashdot out of as much fucking money as fucking possible?"

Nested mode.

Nested mode draws a monumental amount of bandwidth compared to Threaded mode, with fewer page views (for subscribers) or banner ads (for non-subscribers)

Let's say that the first page of comments on a heavily-discussed story in threaded mode is 100KB in size. A person reading that story will read some of the sub-level replies to those comments comments, but not all, so let's say he pulls perhaps 200KB of bandwidth maximum, and it will cost him many page views/banner ads. Now, someone viewing that same page in nested mode is entirely likely to pull 500-1000KB, with only a single page view or banner ad. More cost to Slashdot, less income to Slashdot, therefore less PROFIT for Slashdot.

This goes without saying, but we also need to set our thresholds to -1 (yours IS already set to -1, right?), set our "max comment size" to very high (so that gigantic garbage comments display in full), as well as setting "Limit" very high aslo. Crapflooders need to focus more on posting replies to high-rated or early-posted comments instead of (or in addition to) posting top-level comments, because many people don't bother visiting the second page of comments when there's more than one. And we all need to use Junkbuster, of course.

Let's summarize:

Threaded mode:
Less bandwidth (small cost for Slashdot)
More page views/ads (large income for Slashdot)

small cost + large income = PROFIT

Nested mode:
More bandwidth (large cost for Slashdot)
Less page views/ads (small income for Slashdot)

large cost + small income = FUCKED

Now, the question becomes, can we cost them more money by subscribing, or by not subscribing? I'd be more than happy to throw $50 at Slashdot if by creative page-loading I could cause it to cost them $100 -- I'd be out $50, but so would they, so I think it'd be worth it. It would definitely do more for the world than throwing $50 at those gay starving African children in Africa. But can we cost them more money by subscribing or by not subscribing?

Most large-scale bandwidth providers charge a few dollars or so per gigabyte. Let's be generous, and say that Slashdot pays $5 per gigabyte. With subscriptions, you pay $5 for 1000 pageviews. Unless your 1000 pageviews average 1.024MB each, Slashdot isn't meeting expenses, they're making a profit. Subscribers will not only be paying their own way, they'll be subsidizing non-subscribers. Slashdot is lying to subscribers, and it's important that potential subscribers know this.

So basically, if you subscribe to Slashdot it's harder to fuck them than if you don't subscribe. So don't subscribe. And encourage your friends not to subscribe

Although this particular message is aimed at trolls / crapflooders / culture jammers / anarchists / discordianists / etc, it's important that we recruit the "normal users" to this crusade without them even knowing what our true purpose is -- just educate them that they'll get better value for their money if they use nested mode (much fewer pageviews than threaded mode, thus their subscription lasts longer), without pointing out to them that this'll also spike Slashdot's bandwidth usage.

In short, encourage subscribes to use NESTED MODE and to lower their thresholds to cut down on the pageviews they spend (actually to increase Slashdot's bandwidth usage)

Once subscribers realize that they can cut their page views down to a fraction by always using only nested mode, Slashdot's bandwidth usage will start to rise and they'll be forced to use larger and more intrusive advertisements to generate more income or make the site even crappier to drive people away to reduce expenses, or both. More intrusive ads will lead to more people joinining the FuckSlashdotNow campaign, or to quit Slashdot, or to merely Junkbuster the ads, fucking Slashdot's income stream further.

Summary:

Trolls / crapflooders / culture jammers / etc / should do this:

1. Junkbuster
2. Use Nested mode, -1 threshold
3. Set max comment size very high.
4. Not subscribe
5. Load as many pages as possible
6. Consume as much bandwidth as possible
7 Load as few advertisements as possible
8. Recruit others to the cause
9. Re-post this message to every thread
10. Rate this comment up whenever you see it posted
11. Stay tuned for more updates.

We should (covertly) encourage non-subscribing normal users to do the following:

1. Not subscribe, because it's not a good value for their money.
2. Use Junkbuster to block banner ads.

We should (covertly) encourage subscribing normal users to do the following:

1. Use Nested mode for the duration of their subscription, so that they'll spend fewer pageviews and get better value for their money.
2. Not resubscribe.

Thanks for reading this first issue of The FuckSlashdotNow Report! I'm currently soliticing ideas for upcoming issues; please e-mail me (e-mail address is in profile) with any comments or suggestions!

ur VARY aprctd fr rdng ths msg, pls fix thx!!!

*EOT*