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Journal: The Creation of Spam Sig Opt Out 1

Journal by Spam Sig Opt Out
Ive spent lots of time, maybe too much, pondering the phenomena of the free iPod sig. At 4:13 pm on Saturday, March 19th I had a moment of clarity that put things in perspective. People with free iPod sigs are useless. This was a startling discovery. I had previously been aware that they are both annoying and spammers, but it had never occurred to me that they would also be useless.

Allow me to explain for the non-pyramid scheme spamming users who still read this site. I'm sure that I'm not the only one who upon seeing a "'free' iPod" sig gets as angry as when I see a homeless person who is obviously able to work harassing cars and washing windshields in a busy intersection for liquor money. These people, spammers and beggars are the scum of the earth. They smear your windshield with their dirty halfassed non-attempt at cleaning and put out their grubby palm for a handout all at the same time.

People with free iPod sigs are the windshield washers of slashdot. They put up useless groupthink compliant babbleings or piss-poor mirrors to slashdotted sites to ingratiate themselves with equally stupid moderators. Their hope is to get modded up and fool some equally pathetic other user into joining their spammer pyramid scheme. But pyramid scheme participants have something in common with black market human brains. They are pretty stupid. Intelligent people are smart enough to work a real job to pay for their toys or at least know that it is not appropriate to spam on a site where every 5th story is about the scourge of spamming. As a general rule smart people don't join pyramid schemes.

Here-in lies the largest problem with free iPod spammers: they are stupid. They post stupid things. They add nothing to the discussion. With their every useless spam sig post this site slides further and further into the toilet. Of course not having a spam sig is by no stretch of the imagination the sign of an intelligent, valuble poster, but having a spam sig is almost always the sign of an utter retard. I could post examples but I think just causal browsing of slashdot is enough to demonstrate that what I have said is true. To drive the point home though, check out http://developers.slashdot.org/. Notice how in the stories that didn't make it to the home page there is not_a_single_spam_sig. not one. I rest my case.

How do we fight the scourge of 'free iPod' spammers? In the past I have gone through the site methodically replying to free iPod spammers as AC, reminding them that spammers suck. I frequently included my own fake sig which read like:
--
Free iPod sigs are spam. You are a retard.

This approach was somewhat satisfying and kind of effective. The downside is that my IP address is now banned from posting anonymously, and will probably be banned from posting logged in soon. In the time I have had to sit by and watch as retard spammers ruin this site I have had the opportunity to think of another way: my Final Solution. I have created this account, Spam Sig Opt Out, for use as a filter against the increasing torrent of spammers that this site has attracted. To use this filter, simply add Spam Sig Opt Out as a 'friend' and set the 'foes of friends' modifier to -6 in your preferences. Feel free to report users with spam sigs in my journal. With every addition this site gets more readable. It may be too late to save this site from the spammers, but that doesn't mean we have to read their garbage.

Always think of something new; this helps you forget your last rotten idea. -- Seth Frankel

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