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User Journal

Journal: Sons of Bitches Stealing My Shit

Journal by Mighty_Joe_Stalin
Today I took a dump in the local toilet and when I came out, I saw a swarthy looking fellow just standing around being idle. I began to walk away but then noticed him going into the bathroom. I went back in and found up on the ground in the stall I had just used, licking the seat my tender ass had just sat on. I was horribly offended and told the devious cunt that he had better cut it out before I cracked his skull right good. The cunt ignores me so I had no choice but to stomp him. My only problem is that I fear this may continue. I believe there is an international networks of homosexuals dying to lick the toilet seat my ass rests upon.

What should I do?

United States

Journal: The State Duma and the Tactics of Social Democracy

Journal by Mighty_Joe_Stalin
You have no doubt heard of the emancipation of the peasants. That was the time when the government received a double blow: one from outside -- defeat in the Crimea, and one inside -- the peasant movement. That is why the government, harassed on two sides, was compelled to yield and talk about emancipating the peasants: "We must emancipate the peasants ourselves from above, otherwise the people will rise in revolt and secure their emancipation themselves from below." We know what that "emancipation from above" was. . . . The fact that the people at that time allowed themselves to be deceived, that the government's hypocritical plans succeeded, that it strengthened its position by means of these reforms and thereby postponed the victory of the people, shows, among other things, that the people were still unenlightened and could easily be deceived.

The same thing is being repeated in the life of Russia today. As is well known, today, too, the government is receiving a double blow: from outside -- defeat in Manchuria, and inside -- the people's revolution. And the government, harassed on two sides, has been compelled to yield again and, as it did then, it is again talking about "reforms from above": "We must give the people a State Duma from above, otherwise the people will rise in revolt and convoke a Constituent Assembly themselves from below." Thus, by convening the Duma, they want to subdue the people's revolution in the same way as, once upon a time, they subdued the great peasant movement by "emancipating the peasants."

Hence, our task is -- to frustrate with all determination the plans of the reaction, to sweep away the State Duma, and thereby clear the road for the people's revolution. I feel a great pressure within my bowels. I must defecate.

Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously. -- Booth Tarkington