Journal Interrobang's Journal: Entitlement
The reason I entitled this Slashjournal entry "Entitlement" is because that's the feeling I get from most London drivers. I could have easily taken a page from that last issue of SF Eye Magazine (the magazine that died shortly after accepting an article from me), and called it "Being A Pedestrian In London, Ontario," but this screed isn't really about the nature of being a pedestrian; it's about the nature of driving or not driving a car.
Further, deponent saith for clarity, it's not that I can't drive, except in the legal sense. I certainly know how to drive, and drove for seven years or so (ages 17-23), but I have no license now because I couldn't afford to keep it up (not for any of the [un]usual reasons people lose their licenses).
But what gets me the most about London drivers is that they honestly seem to believe that they have a right to be there, and that their right to be there supercedes anybody else's right to use (what should be) public space. Part of this sense of entitlement probably stems from a relentless policy of urban (and rural) development that stresses automobile-oriented features and facilities, such as "big box" stores surrounded by hectares upon hectares of parking lot (and 2km from the bus stop); the lack of sidewalks in some (if not many) areas, and so on. Part of it may stem from other things, such as the general wealth (and accompanying preconception that bus riders/pedestrians are poor) of the average London driver, and the average London snotty attitude.
So, now that I've justified myself, I can move on to the bitching in earnest:
Things I Hate About London Drivers, In No Particular Order
It's Called A Turn Signal, Moron: For some reason, London drivers don't seem to know that the little lever or knob on their steering column or wherever actually has a purpose, or that other road users (drivers, bike riders, pedestrians) might actually appreciate advance warning of where they're going. Entitlement fact #1: I own the road, so everyone else better get out of my way, no matter what I'm doing.
Observational Evidence: Today, Buddy in a black Designated-Alternate-to-a-K-Car made an unsignalled lane change followed by an unsignalled right turn -- in the path of the bus I was riding. Also, I've seen someone make an unsignalled left turn from the right lane (the incorrect lane for the turn) through a crowd of pedestrians at an extremely busy intersection.
The Right of Weight: Bus and truck drivers are (with reason) some of the worst offenders here, but people in $45K SUVs take some top honours here. This gripe refers to the attitude that London drivers' rolling iron will do a lot more damage to a pedestrian/bike rider than the pedestrian/bike rider will do to the rolling iron. (Well, at least that's what they think. I, on the other hand, was paying attention in Young Drivers of Canada when the instructor told us that the fastest way to total a car was to hit a moose or a human being. Then again, if I'm dead, that's cold comfort, ha ha.) Therefore, they can do all sorts of things, like make right turns practically through pedestrians, refuse to slow down when someone is crossing the street at a crosswalk (and nearly take the back of your head off with their side mirror), sideswipe, and all the rest of it.
Entitlement fact #1: I own the road, so everyone else better get out of my way, no matter what I'm doing.
Observational Evidence: I've been sideswiped several times while crossing streets, and had to run sometimes because of assholes playing "untz...untz...untz...untz..." music with their windows open who can't wait for you to get out of the way so they can go barrel-assing down Richmond St. 40 klicks over the speed limit.
The Handy Turning Ramp Problem:
<voice="surfie">Yo, dude, that's a sidewalk, not a place for you to launch your turn into traffic...</voice>
People in London, particularly Yuppies in SUVs (always big offenders in the "entitlement" category) and superannuated former high school metalheads in Trans Ams, seem to think that the part of the sidewalk that crosses exit ramps from parking lots is just another useful metre to roll ahead and advance. So, oftentimes what you get is four or five of these morons crammed bumper-to-bumper with each other, so if you (on foot or bike) want to get past, you either have to wait, or walk out in the traffic. Sometimes you can cut behind the first car, but not often.
Entitlement fact #1: I own the road, so everyone else better get out of my way, no matter what I'm doing.
YD Mantra: Stop At The Line, NOT At The Light: This one is related to the previous item, and it refers to the same phenomenon, except applied to the middle of the road. London drivers seem to have this habit of stopping for lights (they don't seem to know what stop signs are), if they stop for lights (later on that) in the middle of intersections, meaning that bike riders and pedestrians must walk into the oncoming traffic to get across the street. I really love walking insultingly close to these morons' front bumpers and glaring at them. Sometimes it even works.
Again, entitlement fact #1: I own the road, so everyone else better get out of my way, no matter what I'm doing.
Pedestrians? What Are Pedestrians?: This one refers to those oh-so-clueful drivers who more or less ignore anything that isn't on motorized wheels going on in the road around them. They're the types who make (unsignalled) right turns at speeds that would make most engineers' hair turn white, and don't even bother to check if there's anybody crossing or not (note to drivers, it's called "crossing the street," not "crucifying the pedestrian"), or who honestly seem to resent being held up for thirty seconds while making a turn or being stopped at a sign or crosswalk. These same people inevitably jam it as soon as you're nominally out of the way. The best way to deal with these people is always to make eye contact with drivers (which at least [we hope] forces them to acknowledge your existence), but that doesn't always work.
Observational Evidence: Yesterday when returning moderately heavily loaded from the grocery store (three bags of groceries and a backpack), Buddy in a black Trans Am glared at me (after looking shocked) when I interrupted his right turn by finishing crossing on the Walk signal. Also, when I lived in Cambridge (not known for its bad drivers, but known for its rude old people), I was hit by a Yuppiette in a minivan while crossing at a stop sign. She arrived at the stop sign fully 15 seconds before I did, then proceeded to stop and watch me cross the street -- all the way to the front of her minivan, whereupon she (for some reason) stepped on the gas and (literally) drove into me. Fortunately, she wasn't going fast (didn't jam it), and I wasn't hurt.
Entitlement fact #2: I am a London driver, therefore I always have the right of way.
What's That Red Thing?: All London drivers must be perpetually in a rush; that's all I can think of to explain it, because they don't like to stop. London drivers will ignore stop signs whenever possible (around here we call that token slowing motion a "farmer's stop"), and seem to interpret traffic lights as
Green: Go!!!
Amber: Go faster!! You MUST get through the light before it turns red!!
Red: Stop, grudgingly, and for not one nanosecond longer than necessary. Extra points if you can actually start rolling before the light changes again and not have to stop again.
Entitlement fact #1: I own the road, so everyone else better get out of my way, no matter what I'm doing.
There are many other things that London drivers (the Melonheads, at least) do that drive, er send me (and others) up the wall, but those are the worst-ish for now (some friends of mine once saw a driver speed up on an empty road in the middle of the night to hit a cat).
Happy driving, and if you act like an asshole, and a black-haired nerd with a backpack and Doc Martens flips you off, that's me, saying hi. (Note to Melonheads: Check that card in your wallet. Note it says "Driver's License," not "Asshole License," and behave accordingly. Note to London Police: Where are you when we need you? Apparently you must have better things to do -- and an arrangement with the Freak Press, 'cause I don't hear about 'em.)
