In your preferences, mark +1 to long comments, mark Cmdertaco and his ilk as foes, change foe to -1, change your reading threshold to 0. It works!
Two in a row. I don't normally go for first posts(refreshing constantly just isn't an enjoyable activity for me), but these two just happened to drop into my lap. However, I was thwarted in my quest for a 3rd by a hot lunch date. It was worth the loss of braggadocio. Neither post is Samuel L. Clemens-esque, but instead are examples of pure first post panic in action.
Now I see I am not alone in this. Look at this post http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=27155&cid=2929481
Has anyone else had this happen to them? Update: another instance of this abuse: http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=26328&cid=2859227