01.27.2002 03:41 EST
--
Yes, its almost 4am, and technically the 28th, but I date it the 27th because I have not yet slept.
"How can I feel alone even when the world surrounds me?" - Dream Theater
I feel aweful. Frankly, the only comfort I'm getting is from /dev/null when she hops up onto my lap and squeaks at me. She's a real sweety, and truely helps me at times. Like the song says, its mighty silly that I'm even the least bit depressed, but that doesn't change it. I'm lonely in that way that only a signifigant other can fill. Meanwhile I hang out with Andy and Sarah who are dating, and that doesn't make things any easier. Still, its nice to hang out with people.
For a strange change of pace, I explained a bit of Paganism -- as best as I understand it -- to Andy. Most of my understanding comes from explaination from Fox...and thank the Gods for her. She's helped me through more than one tough time...that much I can tell you.
"So much safer here, a place where I can go to forget my daily sins." - Mike Portnoy
I often think bad things, don't I? Often think them, but seldom do them. Still is the thought in and of itself a bad thing? A sin? It seems to me that perhaps my biggest sin is that of dependance and need. /dev/null takes the brunt of it. At night when I feel especially alone, I lay down and grab her like a teddy bear. She really doesn't seem to mind...just lays there for a while and purrs. When she gets sick of it she just gets up and walks off...I'm not holding her hard. *shrug* Dev is the greatest. I'm so glad she's with me now.
Anyhow, its awefully late and I have things to do tomorrow, so I'm going to go to bed. Good night.
--Wrath
