Announcements and News (Scóre 5, Genuine) (Score -1)

Hey there Slashbots,

Well it's me. Rob Malda. Again. Admin of Slashdot: News for..., well, you know the drill. If I don't seem my chirpy, normal self, it's because I'm in a state of shock. I can't believe what happened yesterday. I got in in the morning only to find the place in uproar. There was this e-mail from Michael:

"Dear All,"


"Included below is the response that I started writing, and choked down, a few weeks ago. I think I had the thought that I ought not to escalate, perhaps the trolls would come to their senses and realize how utterly and totally offensive it was to be constantly reminded of my shabby and shameful Censorware.org BASTARDry. "

"In any case, since Taco has so kindly provided the trolls with platform for the cruelest criticism I've ever received, I shall never hear the end of it. Thanks, Rob. You're a real friend."

"Slashdot.org is now closed."

"If I am to be continuously accused of evil deeds, I might as well do them. Certainly there is no perceptible downside to doing them; I shall be punished as I have been, by constant attack from trolls. And doing them provides a certain measure of satisfaction."

"I believe there are lessons learned by first-year law students which involve human behavior in the face of over-zealous punishments - specifically, the concept that since the punishment for minor crimes was death, if a serf were to be accused of a such a crime, he would go on a rampage, settling old debts with violence while the opportunity existed. "

"Michael Sims - Formerly of the Censorware Project - http://censorware.org"
"Formerly of Your Rights Online - http://yro.slashdot.org/""

Well, you can imagine. I was bloody livid. Michael had kindly offered to renew our domain registration in his name when it came up and I just let him get on with it. I forgot all about his past form. So anyway, I tracked the little bastard down to the stationary cupboard, which he had locked himself in. I told him through the keyhole: Slashdot is a collective and we all have an interest in it's work product, the domain and the goodwill and page hits it had achieved. The decision to shut us down was not his to make. At this point he began muttering to himself about deja vu and then hysterically accused me of being Seth Finklestein in disguise.

Anyway, the crisis was averted when some corporate oddbods from VA Software came whizzing down in the Slashdot PT Cruiser and began slapping people around. Michael has refused to come out his cupboard for three days straight, surviving by licking the glue off post-it notes. The local fire department refused to free him, citing "safety concerns". Michael continues to alternate between bouts of crying, hysterical laughter, moaning and sucking his trousers. The worst of it is, he's got my stapler in there with him and I need it.

Thank fuck I got Jamie to make up that emergency Slashdot imitator last Autumn, which automatically creates a new story about porting Linux to something, then dupes it three or four times in a two hour period. We managed to run the bugs out when we turned it on for all of December '03- February '04. Having it on for just the 6 hours Slashdot was down was easy.

Thank goodness I can work off all this stress and aggro at the gym. I've been going to the local YMCA to use the facilities for almost 3 years now. It's amazing really, looking at all the pale European tourist back-packer guys around me. Limp white bodies, junkie thin. Christ, they'd probably do anything for a few dollars. Lucky I'm such a rich guy, in that I don't have to do that sort of stuff to keep my head above water. I like to contribute a few dollars to those charity hostels. I do shit like that because I'm a giver, not a taker.

Anyway, I'll let you know when that crazy little shit comes out of his cupboard. He better not have shat on my new stapler.

Logging off, it's Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda! later, dudes!