No, really - I do not want to work.

Basically everyone works, it is the way of our life - that is what our planet is based on and that's what most people aspire to do. I'm 40 years "young" now, I don't see me as old...I look pretty much the same as I've looked the last 20 years (at least I think so) ;) but that's besides the point I'm trying to make here. Heck...I really don't care if you get it or not, follow if you like.

I was sitting here in my home thinking over my life past the 20 years or so of work and unemployment in my life, not to mention the countless times I've googled about people and their job satisfaction or basically they overall satisfaction with life itself, I am really wasting my precious time on this planet. Sure - If everyone got the idea that they shouldn't work - this planet would probably come to an end pretty quickly, or would it? There will always be people like me - the odd ones out, so I think we're going to be fine.

When I go to work, I'm not happy, no no...I really like the line of work I'm in - but I end up disliking the people around me simply because they always seem to have some kind of hidden agenda, especially females, maybe it's just me who's getting old and "outdated" when it comes to the "in-crowd" or it's just bad luck - I really don't know (even though most people would look at this from their own point of view...don't think for a second I'm any different on that subject)...however - I really try to be - really!

The inevitable question on this would probably be something like: Why? I can't really answer that in one go, you'd have to live my life to answer that one, and even I have a hard time answering it. But you know what? I'm pretty tired of having a "hard-time". I want to have a good time....alas...a good life and I am tired of living by everyones "norms" on how-to-be..and how-to-behave. I'm not anarchistic, I prefer well educated company and also prefer people who are capable of thinking for themselves, I am also not shallow enough to only hang out with my peers - but will gladly hang out with societys dimmest of souls if they have a good heart, this however - doesn't always fall into fertile ground with the "ins".

All of this + my life experiences so far has led me to the conclusion that I really should not work. I don't want to become some
kind of loner sadly locked up by himself, barred behind some closed curtains in his technologically insane castle, I really DO want to meet people, feel the pulse as always, but I am sick and tired of being steered into whatever direction certain people feel like
they can do "with me" if allowed to do so by a certain work related situation - and this have happened repeatedly trough out my
life (and according to google & a gazillion work-rant sites) so there must be something wrong somewhere, we must be doing SOMETHING
wrong. Now...If you are thinking this trough - and these things never really hit you as it has hit me or other people then you may not be capable of judging the situation so please overlook it, you can't get it - really...you can't!

But I do realize that I must do something about my current situation, and I most certainly will - because I am really fed up
with people incompetence and "normalcy" to the brinck of madness, so instead of going there - I will "fight" towards enjoying life to its fullest and stop destroying myself on behalf of others.

That is all - move along now....

...is it best to be together with someone and just be an actor for the rest of your life...or be yourself and alone for the rest of your natural life...? Though question - I know...but do you know the answer?

I just love electronics, even if it's not what I do at work for a living. The eighties brought many inventions into our lives such as the personal PC that actually BECAME PERSONAL in the 80's, yes sure...you got your Altair before the 80s, but it wasnt quite the same.

Did you notice the components inside technology of the 80s? I sure did - so much so in fact that I bought my first Pilips Electronic Engineer kit (EE2003) back then when I was 12 - and got hooked on electronics ever since.

Today most electronic hobbyist exist in a chip-world of programming Fpgas and Pics and have hardly touch an soldering iron ever, not that there is ANYTHING wrong with that at all - hey...I even envy those very capable fpga designers that can do so many things I cant even comprehend - all power to you. The point I am trying to make is that the 80s gave us all some building bricks that lay down the ground rules for it all - and - can still be used to make some amazing discoveries, pretty much like students who use LEGO bricks to come up with new robotics-design and to solve issues that really needs a "hands-on" touch in order to become a reality, in other words - get our hands dirty.

Ive stored up a HUGE (well..at least to me...rather large) collection of 80s electronics components, transistors, resistors, diodes, capacitors, electrolytes, TTL-logic chips, microprocessors, eproms...oh...and I could go on and on.

The point is - this is just like LEGO for grown-ups of all ages, anything I have on my mind I can put into a construction with these easily manageable components. Sure - I could use SMD/SMT components - but that just isnt an option when age is hitting you and your hands are shaking, and besides - even for the younger ones these components are so manageable that tech-schools still prefer to use these components for prototyping before finally sending in the schematic to be printed out as an SMD-PCB.

I do know that many schools also use software emulation to simulate what the analog / digital circuits do and how it all work together, but time and again - this is far from realistic as the nature of components still aren't up to par with the "perfect world" of the software...and ...you don't really get that "hands on" feel of experimenting yourself to knowledge as you would if you fiddled with modules you made on the fly.

Many of us grieve over the fact that the days when the local component store where in every city, even the small cities (thats radio-shack to you Americans reading this) are long gone, and Luckily I live in a city where the city itself still is big enough to carry whole "2" competing electronics stores - woah! - Now thats what I call choice.

Have no fear - Internet is here! And eBay!

Ever since Internet became accessible to everyone and not just schools and libraries, weve got the fantastic opportunity to share the good with each other without any borders at all. Fun stuff! And then there is the eBay phenomena, that have brought life to my Electronics hobby for sure - never before have I and others been so able to endulge in our hobby on such a massive scale before - not to mention that it costs a FRACTION of the price of what we paid back in the days. I used to pay about 60 bucks for a handfull of components on a lucky weekend when I was a child (delivered many a newspaper, mind you!) to get some action NERD style, and once they where all used up - I had to go for "pulls"...thats recycled components to the non-tech readers out there. But today? Theres no need for pulls at all - I have "probably" millions of components that are brand-spanking-new, and its a dream come true for a child of the 80s, its like uncle scrooge bathing in money...whereas Id probably catch led-poisoning from bathing in components, but what the hey...I have fun!

There is NOTHING on earth like building a little transistor radio (ok...maybe building a TUBE/Valve radio), and Im looking forward to every little spare moment I have in life - this is indeed LIVING - when I can get some time off from work to complete some projects, do some weird-science experiments and boldly go anywhere I feel like

So - I don't think were ending the era of the 80s components yet, not by far! The party has barely started.

Every single day we have opinions, I know I do.

The fun starts when the opinions change over time and I learn something new or see things in a different light.

As the years go by - I find myself observing more rather than stating my opinion all the time. As a young boy I stated my opinions frequently. Eventually I tired from it and started looking for answers instead. A much more logical approach - don't you think so? :)

Frequently I occupy my spare time trying to answer such universal questions such as why are we here and even more ...why is there an universe and where did it all come from

Speaking of which.... these days I've come to believe that it didn't HAVE to have a start.
After all - we invented the concept of time, now didn't we? :)

The most puzzling of all my experience in life so far is the daunting number of humans (me included!) that are caught in a loop.

And what exactly am I accusing humanity of now? Not accusing - rather implying that we might be caught in our own everyday safety net of things that we did once to many times before. Let me take myself as an example:

I zip my tea. Lean back and surf the same pages on the net that I've gotten used to over some time (Slashdot anyone?) again and again. Almost desperate when not finding any news or seeing anything new I often engage in a frantic "bookmark-raid" just to find something new.

Of course ... that is a bit loopminded because it's only the same story all over again, the same people (usually) and the same issues, nothing new really. But who's to blame for that? (Me - just in case you got confused).

The above example is just ONE of many, you can probably find examples from your own life. Now having said that... looping things in life may not be a bad thing - after all - we need our social network - our habits help us feel comfortable and give us a platform to grow on further.

But my gripe with "loopmindedness" is that hardly anything new comes from this - nothing revolutionary anyway. And it's somewhat annoying to find myself caught in that safety net over and over again - especially as I try to rid myself of it. I want to see new things, I want to hear new stories - I want to discover!

Sometimes my quest for thinking the unthinkable (discovering things we have never ever seen before) is making me nuts.

I think the secret to discovering entirely new things is to rid ourselves of traditional thinking. I mean - most of the people on this planet are so preoccupied with the traditional ways that there's hardly any harm in someone taking a different approach. We might not find anything this way - or we might stumble upon something fantastic this.

In the old days people had a habit of blaming everything they didn't understand on mysterious phenomena or paranormal activities and many other things and if you dared to think otherwise you'd either be hung to burn over a campfire or chased as a evil spirit in lead with these "supernatural beings". That's humanity for you!

Oh well - at least certain things are better today, now at best... I'm a "mad-hobby-scientist-wannabe" that no one would even try to understand even if they tried just to be nice. Heck ... I'm not even sure I understand me sometimes.

Therefor I spend considerable time studying communication. It's not too good to be left alone in the dark to chew on your own theories - I need the company of the other. One mind can be nice - but together we could create a HUGE mind to find out things we never before dreamed of. But the road to entirely new thinking is long and dangerous, kind of fun though... it's filled with adventure and no promises of any kind - so you can't really be disappointed - but you COULD get surprised.

A little rambling from me :)

/MindPrison