I hope those are separate line items and not a list of things one person is supposed to handle... user support != server support.

I could manage a few hundred, maybe a thousand servers if I had set them up correctly, but I'll be goddamned if I'll support 1,000 part time staff by myself...

We had two admins for 160 client machines (labs included), 12 servers and fifty users.

Feel free to apply your own math to that...

Aww... you're dead.

:'(

News @ 11:

BREAKING NEWS:

Posting under the Slashdot alias, one Jacob Sims, aka ground.zero.612, made inflammatory remarks to the University of Minnesota Campus Police and a certain "Professor Dipshit." Following this, Mr. Sims was found bound and gagged, bent over a park bench with a sign hanging about his neck stating: "Free ride for the po-po."
We would post photos, but... well, please think of the children.

Me: This can't be any worse than Manos: The Hands of Fate without being MST'd, right?

Friend: Probably not. I mean, they didn't even have credits for Manos.

Episode IV 1/2

The Star Wars Holiday Special

Han Solo and Chewbacca are on their way to the Wookie planet of Kashyyyk to take part in Life Day when they...

CLICK

Me: Maybe these guys should have learned from Manos?

As a complete form of self promotion, it's available on Google Video, but I have it embedded here.

I've seen one guy since 2004... he got sick of pirating XP, so he jumped to Ubuntu.

Besides that, I knew one guy about six years ago who ran Linux extensively in his house for desktop use (he ran Tao Linux before having to back out due to time constraints). Of course, he also had me rebuild an OS 9 box so his kids could play some educational games so read what you want there.

I'm have a performance orientation and I guarantee that this article was written by... nevermind, this shit's too hard...
/me shuffles off to play Neverwinter Nights...

"How the fuck do I get Bing to crawl my goddamn site?!"

/me shrugs

Waa-waa-waa... adding another character and a couple other non-essential items is not a big deal. Hell, it doesn't even correspond to your argument for the most part.
If you want to see some real bullshit, grab Final Fantasy IV: The After Years from the Wii Store... you don't even get the goddamn ending!

Yes they do... then you have to do it again. See? Sometimes being honest is good!

You bet your ass I do... of course, this means I'm the "Best Friend" who goes on clothes shopping trips now, though...

I'd like a blowjob, is all I'm saying...

I said this above and I'll say it again:

"Don't go to bed angry at your spouse."

By all means, go to bed angry at the fucking dog...

This is a decent first year marriage list, but as with all things, there are shades of gray that develop the longer you are with someone.

1: Never go to bed angry. Actually, never go to bed angry at your spouse -- you can be pissed off at the dog all you want; just make sure they know you aren't pissed at them.

2: Find a few minutes to connect with your wife every day. This is a good statement followed by mushy crap. Instead of saying variations of, "I love you," actually try doing something with her. Go for a walk, catch a movie, cook dinner together, etc.

3: Never say the word divorce. Unless you guys are discussing ways to get tax breaks... (this goes back to the whole, "Laugh Your Way to a Good Marriage" thing someone mentioned above)

4: Agree with each other that when you're having an argument which gets particularly heated, it is ok for either person to walk out of the room, and the argument can just wait until tempers have cooled down a bit. Let me sum this up: "Agree that you can walk away from an argument."

5: Always put your wife first. This is true up until they stop putting you first. This is a point of mutual respect and once that respect is lost for whatever reason, you need to sit down together and get it back. For example, you're a gamer, she isn't. Invariably she *will* get you to stop playing games and do something like watch TV instead. This is a breakdown of this rule on both sides -- if you're a gamer, there is nothing wrong with that, but there needs to be compromise from both parties. It can't be all one-sided.


And two of my own additions:

6: It's almost more important that you *LIKE* each other than love each other. The moment you stop liking your spouse is the moment you start going downhill.

7: Compromise. You have to if you want to stay together. This dove-tails nicely with #6 here.

Looking for a job?

'nuff said...

:p

There seems to be two schools of thought on this:

1: "Be honest, direct, and helpful. Make sure they know you are working hard blah blah blah..."
2: "Listen you f*cking cretins, I don't have time to help you look for your pr0n or work on your goddamn spreadsheet problem (how about you don't lock it next time)! I have mission critical sh*t to take care of so f*ck off!"

On their own, neither one seems to work well in the long run. However, supplementing either ideology with copious amounts of alcohol, anti-depressants, and first person shooters should keep you sane enough to make it another four years.

Good luck with that...