This journal needs more nerdy material. Alas, I can't think of anything worthy right now.

Do you know what's so sad, I web-searched Shawn Wong, author of the book I read cover to cover this weekend, and discovered that he is a poor academic prof. who has moved from institution to institution every 1 or 2 years over the past 20 or so years as a lecturer. And he had time to churn out that book? Now he's just a poor bloke that needs to serve on committees and teach undergraduates and advise grad students. It's sort of saddening. I wish that he could just sit there and write more books for me to read.

I promise that if I am your friend and you hate someone because they are dating your old bf/gf, if I ever run across them I will give them dirty looks and bitch slap them, if you want me to. (I just promised that to someone.)

Q: Is the whole world selfish?
Loopy: The whole world is not selfish. Friends did an episode on this.

Sometimes I wish I were just dumb and beautiful like Jessica Simpson. I would be so HAPPY! -jt

I read American Knees by Shawn Wong yesterday afternoon. One of those "supposed to be doing something else but why don't I read this book cover to cover" deals. I thought it dealt with AA issues in a non-annoying fashion. I wish more authors would write like this, characters that I want to hang out with, in a way that makes me laugh out loud or get a pain inside my chest.

She wanted to skip feelings altogether and go right for the answers.

Started watching 8 Mile around midnight on a laptop last night, to get a friend's mind off things and onto Em. Em - a panacea. hahaha. She went to 2fast2furious opening weekend with me last June for the same reason (except not Em but Paul Walker).

I ignored a recent email about intramurals. Times have changed.

Q: Blogs, insightful or a waste of time?
A: Blogs are for people who think their lives are more interesting than they actually are.

Enroute to the field station yesterday morning, the shuttle driver stopped on Center St., got out, crossed the street, then disappeared. Perhaps hoping that something exciting would happen, I had this vision of him leaving for some terrorist activity. Maybe the shuttle and three passengers would be sacrificed for some higher purpose. Uninterestingly, he returned after about two minutes and we continued on our way.

It was the same shuttle driver on the way home, and in the first comment he's ever made to me, he said, "Hey, I'm listening to Berkeley's radio station and they had this quote, 'Behind every terrorist there's a Bush.' Pretty funny, huh?" I smiled and nodded.

Got another Jay CD/VCD set in the mail yesterday. (The wonders of the internet purchasing.) There's one video when he's playing bball (with a mic) and it was hella funny 'cuz there are 5 girls but all they get to do is stand under the basket and watch the guys with adoring eyes. Well, later they get to spray paint some graffiti on the wall. Good Lord.

Jeff suggested that we set the cranes free by throwing them off the 5th floor balcony on a windy day. (There are only 18, residing in a small cardboard box.)

The Word of the Day for January 30 is:

woolgathering \WOOL-gath-uh-ring ("th" as in "the")\ noun
: indulgence in idle daydreaming

I've made some more cranes.

It's amazing, I went to sleep last night and woke up to find that I had lost all of my convictions. Or at least the ones dealing with quals. I don't give a crap when the hell I take them. I just want to pass. Losing one's convictions is a little unsettling though.

Bro writes: in terms of having a nice life, it's pretty much all downhill after grad school (in my opinion). Hopefully, there is a definite plan for you to graduate in a finite number of years, though.

Funny, one of my friends says he always believes there is something better down the road. So.... what if there isn't? I guess it's all the same.

I asked sc for a cure for general malaise and he said, trip to a third world country. Now that is an answer that I appreciate. Puts me right in my place.

I forgot where I got this mp3:

Are these times contagious
I've never been this bored before
Is this the prize I've waited for
Is this a cure among us
From this processed sanity
I'm going to buy back memories
To awaken some old qualities

That's judiciously edited from Run, Collective Soul. Yeah, remember it was on the Varsity Blues soundtrack... quality flick. I went with jpt since she was reviewing it for the Crimson and we both got carded at Alewife because it was an R movie.

After a "discussion" from 9-11pm today, I figure I have 2 options. (1) Crawl under a rock and curse the world (2) Stop being a wussy and get smart to prove I can take my quals when I was planning to. I'll sleep on it. Cursing the world seems like a viable option. I hate when my plans are thwarted. I just don't see how one month will make a difference when I've been planning for a year, no matter how much of a slacker I am. Curse the world. Please don't make eye contact for the next month.

You know how in the South Park movie, Cartman had that electronic device implanted in him so that he'd get a shock everytime that he swore? I need one of those for every time I go to open the web browser.

wchou passed her quals and jo passed her prelims. Guess I'm the last one of past and current housemates left for that fun-fest.

Last night we went out and had our belated Chinese New Year dinner on Broadway. 14 dishes. Forgot the noodles! At some point near the end of dinner, people started speculating how many krispy kremes they could put down at once. I think the original question was if one could eat 3 pizzas and drink 24 beers in a 24 hour period. Without going to the bathroom? Anyways, echoi's friend said, "Two dozen krispy kremes!" Then for the love of the donut, we drove to Daly City in four cars. That was the first time I saw the mass production of donuts. It was somewhat sickening but also fascinating. I had one. Some people got up to four. echoi's friend didn't eat any!!!! Personally I prefer the Dunkin' Donuts munchkins, even if they are not hot. I'm an east coaster.

On the BART home, we continued our discussion of wrath. hfu thought I didn't have any wrath. I have known hfu since 1995 and I thought he was more observant than that. Then again, I have known hfu since 1995 and I didn't know he was capable of locking a roommate in the bathroom. We decided that wrath usually manifests itself during sports.

I've found a new obsession (uh oh). One year ago I brought home "The One" double CD and VCD of Jay Chou from Taiwan. I listened to the (live) CDs a couple of times but never really got into it. Then somehow forgot all about the VCD until yesterday. Popped that baby in the computer last night. OMG. I'm in love. (BTW, Bossy has known about him since she lived in Taiwan and did not share him with me????) jay

I find it sort of funny how impatient I am. That's probably part of the reason why Loopy says I treat him like crap. A lot of times I am content with just going along with the flow, but then once in awhile I get impatient and go on the offensive. Then funny things happen. For example someone asked me, "Is talking to me like talking to a 12-year old that doesn't know anything???" I just wish I weren't so self-righteous about the whole thing.

Maybe I'll be patient enough to make 1000 cranes. The count is up to 8. I'm sacrificing myself and doing lots of chocolate-eating for this project.

1000 cranes make a wish come true (or so the internet tells me). I made four today out of pink Dove chocolate foil wrappers. Only 996 to go...

I invented a new word by accident today. I said "on the leftern" (insteada "western") side of the fault when describing uplift and faults. Everyone (in review group) got a kick out of that. At least I am still sometimes good for entertainment value.

Went to Cal vs. USC. Cal won by 1 pt. Ubaka made both ends of a 1-and-1 with 17 seconds left. That was about the only inspiring part of the game.

Xin nian kuai le, Sun nien fai lok, Gung hay fat choy

What little Taiwanese kids wanna be when they grow up and why. Very insightful. http://www.sinosplice.com/~abtom/archives/001087.html

Today was the first day that Loopy was truly back in the office and he tells me, "You're the funniest person I know, you know that? I mean, you're my friend but you treat me like crap most of the time."

Those were words uttered by the same person that I was yelling at on the phone last year when I was in MN and he was in CA and we were trying to finish a stupid problem set and my brother heard me yelling into the phone and later lectured me about treating my friends nicer.

Bossy also called me cruel last weekend. I asked, to who? (Don't even start about who/whom.) She said, To me! to Eric! How can that be? I am not that cruel. I just sometimes end sentences with "you fool!!" I treat people how they need to be treated.

OK so was this cruel? At least he dishes it back. Look at that geomorph humor...

From: me
To: loopy
Sent: Wednesday, January 21, 2004 3:09 PM
Subject: Re: Emailing: 038 - mono lake and sierra nevada.jpg

don't send me 1 MB files you fool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-------------------------------

Date: Wed, 21 Jan 2004 15:14:17 -0800
From: loopy
To: me
Subject: Re: Emailing: 038 - mono lake and sierra nevada.jpg

cry me a braided river...

Popular

I compiled a new list of my hobbies.

Hobbies: shooting self in foot. inserting foot in mouth. confusing people. contradicting self. overanalyzing. laughing (snickering) at the world. self-reflection. thinking about rocks.

I heard from Sealy today. We update each other about twice a year. Sealy and I were buds in college. Namely, I would do his physics homework in advance to appear smart, trek across the river to watch his swim meets, read up on his favorite rap artists, etc. In return for my loyalty, he took me to my first and only trip to the Grille (now defunct). Oh, those were the days. Sealy once told me a story about how some girl emailed him twice and left him two phone messages within the course of 24 hours, which led him to conclude that she was a psycho-freak. I have viewed that as a cautionary tale ever since. Learn from others. Apply to self. Don't repeat mistakes. Now people just view me as cold and heartless, but at least I'm not a psycho-freak.

Today I went to the Snoopy Museum in Santa Rosa with Bossy.

Can't type freely in here right now. A mix of (1) they don't care (2) I'll sound like an idiot (3) too lazy to filter out the crap. What happened to just don't give a fuck? I'm losing it.

Don't take me for a joke I'm no comedian
Too many mental problems got me snortin coke and smokin weed again
I'm goin up over the curb, drivin on the median
Finally made it home, but I don't got the key to get in

I don't do well with winter and spring. But Bossy bought me the Christina CD today. (Fighter!)

The plant fell over again. Spilled soil all over my new alarm clock/calculator (dork!). I will avoid reading a deeper meaning into this.

My friend Melissa's stand-by plans were thwarted, so she's not flying in until tomorrow afternoon. I met her in high school nerdy camp. We were both nerdy high schoolers. Now she's a lawyer.

i'll fake it through the day
with some help from johnny walker red
send the poison rain down the drain
to put bad thoughts in my head
[on repeat: miss misery]

To maintain an air of geeky legitimacy, I will report that the new system board seems to have done the job and the original battery is now 100% but the ghetto "not OEM" battery that I just received in the mail yesterday only gained 3% of charge overnight.

Schmooly (Murphee K, all the way!) wrote, "I got a returned email from Andrew. Do you know what happened to his most recent email address?" and I answer "No, I do not know what happens to people who fall off the face of the Earth." That used to be one of my biggest fears, losing touch with people with whom there are no or not many mutual friends. I almost think it's amazing when I run into people after 10 years and they're still alive. It's a crazy world, ya know, anything can happen. Anyway, disappearing friends is not one of my biggest fears anymore, because it's happened so many times that it's just annoying reality. And there's a reason for everything, even if the reason is apathy. In fact, I expect to lose touch now, so when it happens I can pat myself on the back and say, Good Job.

Schmooly also asks, "Is The People's History of the United States the book from Good Will Hunting?" and I answer, "My memory is not that good." All I remember is going across the river to watch it, and techies going crazy when MIT was mentioned. I read a bit more of it last night (in an attempt to quell boredom) and now hate a whole new bunch of oppressors.

I think I'm the only person I know who could have technical difficulties while trying to leave a message on someone else's v-mail. (Headset became unplugged during message-leaving.) So sad.

I wonder what is the correlation between alcoholism and genius. ...and then that of alcoholism and idiocy.

I have this nagging feeling that people who follow the rules don't get anywhere.

Loopy called to listen to the message but I picked up the phone and he said "You weren't supposed to pick up!"

The NCR guy came and raped my laptop today. Opened it up, switched out the system board. I kept on asking - what's that? (CPU) what's that? (memory) what's that? (hard drive) and he was patient about it. Also, it was funny because he knows my advisor (and advisor's laptop) because my advisor makes very frequent calls to Dell support. Now I'm not sure if I know my laptop anymore, everything is essentially the same but I'm a little wary, it looks the same, but the insides are different, is it really my beloved computer? (I have yet to give it a pet name. hmm I must not really love it.)

I'm more or less to first draft stage for the proposals, but at this point all proposals seem the same to me. Fake importance, fake intellectualism. "is essential" "to elucidate" "better understand" blah blah blah my ass.

I'm a little bit bored. Maybe more than a little bit. Actually, I've now reached the point where I'd like to scream I'M BORED!!!!!!!!!!!

BTW, as someone who hung around planetary scientists a lot at U of A, I think Bush's Moon and Mars plan is a whole load of crap. They never spoke of permanent bases on the Moon and spoke of going to Mars maybe in our lifetimes. It's gonna take many bazillion dollars and lots of time. I have such little faith. Planetary scientists are pretty cool, not as cool as geologists though. I know almost nothing about politics (except never trust politicians) but Bush's recent and seemingly contradictory plans that play to (1) people who fear illegal immigrants, (2) illegal immigrants who work in the U.S., and (3) rocket scientists, are very annoying to me.