zionicman@Toronto-HSE-ppp3685632.sympatico.ca is not the real eggtroll.

That is all.

An old favorite creation of mine (2001 maybe?), saved for posterity:

For the second time tonight, Slashdot's backend is so mangled that I can't log in or view nested comments. Of course, we've come to expect this by now; it's not an infrequent occurance. My real gripe is about the complete lack of professionialism on the part of the Slashdot staff.

The site is supposedly viewed by many thousands of people every day. Presumably they have adequate resources, or they wouldn't waste their money keeping Jon Katz around. So why is their server down or screwed up so often? It doesn't reflect well on Slash, VA, or Linux; it's really amateur stuff. Isn't there a level of redundancy that could easily prevent these troubles? Hell, even trollaxor.com is up and running tonight.

Another thing to point out is that I rarely see non-troll users mentioning these downtimes. Is the open source community used to sitting around and waiting until problems clear up? Slashdot's downtime is like an uncle's molestation conviction - you just don't talk about it, because it might bring shame to the family. Those fools don't know how to fix their own systems, but they know that however screwed up they are, they're still better than a Windows server would be, yes siree...

I suppose we can't expect too much professionalism from a bunch who don't even bother to spell check their stories. Hell, they obviously don't even read their own site very often, judging by the number of double posts. Maybe I'm the only one who finds it insulting to see a modern business run more sloppily than a high school newspaper. Maybe I've come to expect too much from a few washed-up, wannabe geeks from Michigan.

But all I ask is one simple thing. If you don't take pride in what you do, and you waltz through the world day after day without one iota of concern for the quality of the product you produce, aren't you just going through the paces? Maybe before they write another trite story bashing Microsoft's sloppy product line, they should take a look at the quality of the service Slashdot is contributing to the "geek" world.

Was thinking about writing (or modifing an existing one) a proxy that will route all www traffic to goatse.cx

Would you, fellow trolls, be interested in such a powerful tool?

and ...

Making a website that uses an activeX control for poorly configured IE users to set that and activate it? (What would the legal implications of this be?)

By Serial Troller, 2002-07-04

THE HAGUE -- Robert ?CmdrTaco? Malda, the owner of the popular technology website Slash Dot, has become one of the first U.S. citizens to be indicted by the International Criminal Court for crimes against typography. The Court, authorized by the Rome Statute and ratified by over 60 nations, is charged with the duty of prosecuting individuals for serious human rights violations such as genocide, torture, and sexual slavery.

With this prosecution, the Court seems intent on adding a new crime to their docket, the crime of ?Unicide.?

?What this ?Taco Commander? did to the international community is unconscionable,? U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan was quoted saying. ?Yesterday, there was a flourishing Unicode-speaking population, numbering in the thousands. Today, there are none. They are all silenced. Their Unicode is either blocked by this so-called ?Lameness Filter? or silently wrenched from their messages.?

Slash Dot is home to at least 580,000 citizens, who hail from every Internet-equipped country in the world. However, many more ? perhaps nearly a million ? live anonymously amongst the ranks of registered citizens.

????? ? ?????, Prime Minister of ???? ?????????????, was outraged when he heard of Slash Dot?s decision to cleanse all Unicode-speaking individuals from their website. ???? ?????? ???? ?????? ???. ????????? ????? ?????, ??? ??????? ?????? ? ???? ? ????.?

The White House was dismayed by the decision of the Court to prosecute an American citizen for what the President deemed, a ?politicalized persecutorial.? White House spokesman Ari Flescher announced that the U.S. would, if pressed, go forward with their recently unveiled plan to invade the Netherlands, if this prosecution was not halted. ?This is absolutely stunning,? he said. ?That the United States would be expected to even acknowledge the presence of other character sets other than ASCII is an offense in its own right. You either write in ASCII, or you?re with the terrorists.?

Slash Dot, and its parent corporation, VA Software, were unavailable for comment.

Whats better? Apparently more people like domain-name rapists than they like faeces-obsessed crapflooders. Could this be possible?

On a related note, no one likes Trollaxor. Poor troll...

____________________

Change Log:

• Subtle changes to most verses. It sounded really gay before.
• Removed all references to Taco's pud. May have been high at time. Will investigate further.
• Finally think I have goat sex written correctly in German. I think. Arschficken?

(C) 2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.

Early post, Goatse ghost,

____________________

(C) 2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.

Anyone else notice the User Created Discussions are fucked? How do I browse them?

Last night I made my nine-hundred ninety-ninth Slashdot post. I was so happy that I've come this far that I wanked right then and there. I wanked and I wanked and I wanked; I wanked so hard I nearly pulled my own swollen penis out by the roots. As I wanked to pictures of the Olsen Twins being raped up the ass by horses, I remembered the WIPO Troll and how he committed suicide by masturbating himself to death. Then I kept on wanking.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM was kind enough to leave an answer. I wanked some more after I read that. I love wanking.

Well, everyone, this is it. No, I'm not going to kill myself like the eminent WIPO Troll, but I am going to keep wanking. I've decided to retire this crapflooding account. Serial Troller has posted 999 comments just looks so damned good I don't want to ruin it.

Ladies, Gentleman and Linux penguins.
There is an experiment that all regular slashdot readers should do when they have reached the legal age of consent.
This experiment is something that you should do outside of your office job, in the privacy of your home, without paying for and with someone you wish to spend the rest of your life with in a completely serious relationship and never cheat on.

The experiment has a duration of 24 hours, and should not be recorded except on your personal diaries and preferably not on national television.
This is a certain activity that you should both enjoy while writing a letter in french.

If the duration of the experiment lasts for 5 minutes, you are underperforming to the extent that you are unwell or stressed out.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 15 minutes, you are well suited to a lifetime of conservative fiscal investment.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 30 minutes, you are well suitable to be an average employee.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 45 minutes, it seems that you will be very well suited to an executive job.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 1 hour, it seems that you will have a senior position in your job by the time you are supposed to retire.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 2 hours, you may have a senior position at your work before you retire.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 3 hours, you will probably become a senior executive halfway to the age of retirement.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 4 hours, you are capable of out-performing the rest of the boardroom before you even get promoted.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 5 hours, then you deserve to become part of the executive management team.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 6 hours, then you deserve a long weekend to recover and a bonus for talented performance.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 7 hours, then you should arrange a sick leave call and do your homework while resting.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 8 hours, then the company should pay you a consultation fee for any homework done while sick.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 9 hours, then the company should also pay you a lump sum for your long-standing company performance.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 10 hours, then the company should pay for an amount of overtime during a fiscal holiday.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 11 hours, then the company should pay a fee for equipment maintenance.
If the duration of the experiment lasts for 12 hours, then the company should also let you take an early retirement for your next career plan.

Finally, if the duration of the experiment lasts above 12 hours in one day, then you also need to own a street, so that the neighbours can't complain about being kept awake all night.

I just love it when it's cool and wet and I can hear all the dirt of the city streets get washed away along with all the the noise my family makes.

I don't feel bored enough to watch TV, run experiments all night or let my brother pick fights for no reason.
I can just relax, tune out, think about taking my dog over the road to chase some stones or that cool place I want to build someplace that I want to own.

I don't want to get into anymore pointless arguements of Monopoly monoculture vs. Socialist community, I want to get on with my Kaos BSD project.
Liberty and Enterprise is far more important to me than pointless partisan conflict over who has the most programmers trying to make a work of shakespeare.
There comes a time in life when someone has to step forward and say "I'm on a personal mission, and I'm going to have a lot of fun doing it." "I don't care about the all the usual issues, I'm not a number."
"I'm sorry if I haven't been regular in visiting here, I'm going to go off and do something special soon."
"I couldn't give a damn about the level of misrepresentation there is about my personal life, it's my right to do many things in the way that I see best."
"I maintain certain advances that could do a lot of good, but if people get in my way, I'm more than prepared to go beyond their rules and do something cool, get credit for it this time."
[that will be the hard part, it's just free association without the need for self-censorship.]

That is probably the central issue of life, do you ever really feel the urge to swear while you build the rough model of your work ?
Whenever I'm at relaxing, I just need to let off steam.

Why yes, it's the SlimShady Redemption. It's really cool to actually buy stuff on DVDs or over the net rather than be one of those bloated civil servants or "Fit, but unwilling to get out of the welfare habit" layabouts.

So what if this is controversial ? It's simple if you know that "Freedom is the Freedom to Say 2 + 2 = 4."

I'd like to note that the state relies on a non-competitive monopoly funding it's own rubbish that has no reliability.
I should note that this particular monopoly is so incompetant that it believes it is the only way to do things.
I should note that the sheer bloat of the monopoly corporation is so big that there is no single person able to ensure stability.
This could equally be said to apply to certain parts of the civil service, namely the farmer's monopoly markets.
This sheer lack of competitive incentives can only cause hardship for consumers and producers due to the non-productive economics of excessive amounts of lawyers, accountants, and bureacracy.

This arrangement of non-competitive economics can only become an endless cycle of corporate welfare and government welfare.
This readily becomes a trap for dependancy on the state for the limited resources it has available.
This greatly inefficient system is doomed to failure due to the sheer lack of productivity caused by self-defined academia.
In layman's terms this could be defined as a lack of drive towards expansion, diversity and new knowledge.

Perhaps this could mean that the sheer lack of the competitive spirit that drives success is lacking in those companies.
There is a sheer lack of a future in any monopoly that believes it's own statistical lies, errors and politics.
This can only lead down into a black hole that distorts the postive shape of 4 dimensional space/time and can only be recycled out on the negative side of 4 dimensional space/time.

- posters that spell Microsoft with a $ or spell it MicroCrap or something.
- posters that glorify a feature that Linux has that BSD or Solaris as had for years, and list this reason as the most important reason to switch over
- posters that say Slackware is better because "you have to compile all of the applications for yourself"
- Rob Malda's arrogance
- frequent spelling and grammar mistakes. I'm not talking something really obscure or a minor technicallity in English, either. I'm talking substituting "loose" for "lose" or "they're"/"their"/"there". Really easily corrected mistakes. Any halfway decent fifth grader could pick up on these errors.
- people that post a mirror to a site that has been Slashdotted, which normally would be nice, but is hosted on a cable modem that is soon Slashdotted
- page widening
- random quashing of posts that don't agree with the Slashdot mindset.
- really annoying sigs
- unhumorous jokes that have to be "explained" to the audience. If your joke has to be explained, it's not funny.
- "BOYCOTT RIAA" and "I can't wait to see Episode II!" all in the same day.
- Rob Malda's childish obsession with legos.
- the Slashdot crew doesn't have any other jobs other than Slashdot, yet it seems it was better run when Rob was running it on a Multia in college in his spare time.
- the "page limit" with the subscription.
- The expulsion of Signal 11.
- ranting, paranoid articles whenever there APPEARS to be a GPL violation, with no verification whatsoever. Just a bunch of ranting posts about freedom.
- for that matter, no verification of articles at all. I wish I could count the number of times Slashdot's been scammed on two hands, but it's been so many.
- April Fool's articles on Slashdot. THESE AREN'T FUNNY. I wasn't going to explain, but whatever. Okay, let's say you run a website. On April Fool's, you post, say, ONE or TWO fake pieces of news along with the real news. This way, some people are fooled. By posting ALL fake news and "jokes", no one falls for the prank.
- no one buys Loki's games, but there is a big mystery when they go out of business.
- no NNTP frontend to Slashdot.
- direct links to bugzilla
- continuing tightening of the "troll filters" to the point where even normal posts are rejected by some stupid criteria
- self righteous posters who want everything under the sun to be Open Source, even though they have never written a line of code in their life
- whenever an article on a new scripting language is posted, all of the C users chime in "but it's not as fast as C". shortly after, all the assembly users chime in "assembly is the fastest". predictably, right after that, someone says "why don't we all just use machine code?"
- anecdotes on your grandmother using Linux to check her email and whatnot. this ALONE proves that Linux is better than Windows for ALL uses.
- cult-like devotion to Linux. reserve your fanaticism for a church, not a kernel.
- someone is not less of a person if they don't use Unix.
- posters who think that BeOS is having "a bad moment" and will surely rise to defeat all other operating systems
- posters who think Palm will open the source to BeOS for no reason at all
- people who think that Amiga isn't dead. The new virtual Amiga doesn't count.
- people who think that OS/2 isn't dead. 'Ecomstation' doesn't count.
- people who bemoan the loss of OS/2 while thinking it was a big conspiracy, completely IGNORING the fact that IBM did not advertise. we all KNOW OS/2 was technically superior to Windows at the time. You don't have to bedazzle us with tales of "running all the latest Windows and DOS applications aside native OS/2 apps". We've heard it all before. We know it WAS better.
- people who think that this is the last year ever we'll ever have to hire C++ programmers, because as we all know, Java is going to "kill it off"
- this is a good one. Completely expositionary articles such as "Surprised by Weath" in which ESR BRAGGED about how rich he was and how he wasn't going to give us any money. NO SIR.
- bitchslapping
- benchmarks that pit, say, Linux (lastest revision) against FreeBSD 3.0 or something old and useless.
- how banner ads for the site only link to other OSDN sites
- any links to nytimes.com
- when someone writes a comment with ^H to signify deletions
- the moderation $rtbl
- meta moderation
- people that spell Red Hat as "RedCrap"