Cook holding a new iPad up for the audience to see: "Multiple logins? We've heard you loud and clear. Users want to be able to share the incredible iPad experience with their mother, their kids, their best friend. Up until now, that's just not been possible." ...he pauses for dramatic effect...."At Apple, we have the best and most creative engineers and designers in the world. We've had a team of 140...they have spent many many long nights figuring out the best, most seamless, and utterly beautiful way for you to share your iPad experience with others, without compromising your security, privacy, or individuality." ...again pausing...more pausing... "Today, I present the iPad Too." He pulls out a 2nd iPad that he has had stuffed down the back of his pants. He proudly displays two tablets, as if he's Moses... He holds them up high for everyone to see..."A totally secure multiple log in, guaranteeing no data leakage between the two accounts. This is Apple innovation, and that's why I just love the new iPad Too, and everyone at Apple is really proud to show it to you today. The new iPad Too. It's simply stunning."
The audience erupts in rapturous applause. Some are crying. They're holding each other, hopping up and down. Confetti and balloons rain down.
The Android and WinPhone8 fanboys lose their minds online. Servers explode. Anarchy.
