So apparently this was a legitimate article from Ars Technica in 2005. Let's see how we're doing so far, just 8 years later.
1. The people of the future are a scantily clad people. They delight in showing off their naked, tattooed flesh.
Check.
2. In the future, an airport security checkpoint will work exactly the same as it does now, except that the scanning technology will be different. For instance, at the GE-manufactured checkpoint that I saw, the machine supposedly sniffs you for bomb residue.
Check.
3. The elderly Japanese people of the future will be so desperately lonely for companionship that they'll purchase creepy android replicas.
Not quite yet, but still seems headed in that direction.
4. The senior citizens of the future won't roll around in wheelchairs - not even cool robotic wheelchairs like those invented by Dean Kamen. Instead, they'll have robotic exoskeletons that will make them much stronger and faster than the non-elderly. So in addition to being the largest voting block in future elections, they'll also have superhuman strength and speed.
Not yet, and not looking too likely at this point. Robotic exoskeletons exist, but they're not even used much in heavy industry yet.
5. In the future, most robots will look pretty much like robots have looked since the 1970's.
Robots pretty much look like Frisbees. (I.e. the Roomba is the only successful robot so far.)
6. Apple's market share doesn't change much in the future.
Considering the iPhone and iPad, I'd say their market share has definitely increased.
7. On the weekends, the people of the future will take to the water in dolphin-shaped craft that don't look nearly as much fun to drive as a Seadoo of today.
No signs of that happening any time soon.
8. Dolphin watercraft aren't the only form of future transportation that's a bit cramped. The electrically powered cars of the future will be quite small.
We now have the Smart, the Fiat 500, the Mini, and several others. American drivers have a lot more choices in very small cars than they did in 2005.
9. Future entertainment will follow the trends that were established with the rise of disco. First, they replaced the live band with a DJ. Next, they'll replace the DJ with a large, floor-mounted robotic arm. ... Vinyl aficionados can rejoice, though, because vinyl records are still around.
Not sure about the DJs. That seems to not have changed much since 2005, and I think the mix of live music to DJs to Musak is likely to remain where it's been for the past few decades. Maybe more iTunes mixes though, especially at parties. The prediction about vinyl records was spot on though.
10. In a future 9/11-style scenario, where the top of a high-rise building is on fire, a Moller Aircar...
The Moller is still 50 years away, as always. Moller says it's 5 years away, as always.