Pay toilets...but keep your stance narrow my friend.

Don't be unreasonable, don't eat their eyes. Everything else is fair game.

Instead of the usual commuter rail line, we've had to do some maintenance causing us to provide a single Yugo as transport for the NY morning rush.

After packing 25 angry commuters into the Yugo we left a few hundred thousand stranded on the platform, ping-ponging between the parking lot and home, completely confused how they would get to work.

In addition to that, unfortunately the Yugo couldn't handle the added weight of the passengers and the leaf springs shattered all over the ground. So the 25 passengers we initially planned for were left trapped, to die, inside of the disabled Yugo. They all starved in the days it took us to realize the Yugo never left the station parking lot.

We are sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused and have upgraded to AAA Gold status to prevent any further future disruptions. This will ensure that at least 25 people will actually reach their destinations should this occur again, though they may need to ride on a flat-bed to get there.