Granted VS can be pretty annoying, it shouldn't be hanging crashing that much. Extensions, even the really cool looking ones, have stability issues. I used to have more issues until I ditched almost all the extensions I had installed.
Do you have it setup to get-latest from TFS on solution open? I only get latest before I checkin to verify that there are no conflicts. This minimizes changes and dependency rebuilds. Sure YOU didn't change anything, but if you have it configured to get latest when you open solution, you are bound to get other peoples changes in dependencies.
Why Cancel at #6? That's only going to put you back at #1. You're making an annoying problem into an impossible never ending problem. Was your plan to cancel the build, and then have a stern talking to with the compiler and ask it not to compile dependencies? Only way you are going to control that is to reference DLL's instead of projects, which obviously isn't a solution, but point being if it decides for whatever reason it wants to compile a dependency, you aren't going to make things better cancelling the build.