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User Journal

Journal Journal: Hulk and Pie broke my girlfriend

Okay, so my girlfriend and I go to the supermarket, because we want these kick ass sodas in a bottle. (Black Cherry and Key Lime sodas in glass bottles are fucking kick ass. And I don't even like most sodas...) We pick them up, walk over to the registeres and wait in line to pay. Well, by the registers is a freezer full of pies. Yes, PIES. She wants to get a pie. I said no, but she really really wanted pie. I said no again. I don't really get it, because she was paying for the sodas, so I was pretty much telling her she couldn't get pie with her own money. This entire time I'm trying not to laugh, half failing. She's arguing with me with this sarcastic tone. And we were really getting into this non-"arguement" each of us not wanting to back down, but trying not to laugh at each other over how incredibly stupid the whole thing was.

Anyway, she got her pie. But, noooooooo. She didn't even get the awesome crumb dutch apple pies. She got potato pie. Fucking POTATO pie. I'm like, What the hell? Who the hell cuts up potatos, puts 'em in a pie, bakes it, then eats a fucking potato pie? I don't care if they're sweet potatos or whatever, just the whole concept of having potatoes in pie baffled me. I'm used to having fruits in there, like an apple or cherry pie. Not potato pie. At this point, Kandace was threatening to force feed me this stuff, and I was threatening to get pie all over her face if she tried.

So anyway, we get home with the sodas and the pie, she starts cooking the pie, then we sit down to watch the Hulk. The hulk's kind of a stupid movie, I personally didn't think it was that good, but about an hour into it, the pie was done baking and needed to cool off for a few hours. It's like 12:45 am now, and she goes to pull out the pie, and it's all jiggly-like. She came back, stating this, and that the box said it would firm up while cooling. But, seriously, would any of you eat a jiggly POTATO pie? What was she planning to do anyway, eat the whole jello pie by herself? She was going to be asleep by the time it finished cooling anyway.

And it was riiiiiight about NOW that she broke. Potato Jello Pie's out of the oven, about an hour or so into the hulk, and Kandace flips out. One minute we're talking about a Jello Pie (Well, I was, she was talking about a mythical tasty sweet potato pie) and then she starts laughing.

And Laughing

And Laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing...

She was there for like 45 minutes just laughing, not able to hold any kind of conversation what-so-ever, just kinda rolling around the floor like a laughing hyiena that's laughing too hard and forgot to breathe. I couldn't figure out what the hell she found so funny.

I still can't figure out what was so funny. Hell, SHE doesn't know why she was laughing like that. I just kinda got to sit back and enjoy her being in her "Way Too Fucking Happy Place" without even having to lift a finger.

Oh, and she got bitey. *Really* bitey.

So it's the next day. The entire family hasn't even touched the pie except for Kandace, who had some for breakfast before going to work, and a little bit more after she got back home.

So, I guess, is there anyone out there who wants some jiggly potato pie????

User Journal

Journal Journal: New Journal.

Hey peoples. I'm at work right now, and writing in my journal. First entry. I had a journal at LiveJournal.com, but I don't really talk to anyone I know there anymore, so I decided to write stuff here.

Heh, anyway, there's been so much going on in my life lately, that I could prolly fill up pages and pages of stuff, but I'll try not to. I guess I add new topics in later postings.

Well, I'm going to start with the most important thing first. That would be my girlfriend Kandace. I love her to death, and I hope to be with her forever. It's wierd. We've prolly been seriously hanging out for a few months now, but we didn't start officially dating until 2 weeks ago. Things have been going so fast with her since then, that sometimes I don't know what to make of it. I feel really comfortable around her now, but sometimes it seems like I'm driving a car really really fast. It's fun and interesting and kinda scary while going 200 MPH, but I'm worried that our relationship might horrible crash and burn in the end.

It better not, because that would really really suck, and I don't know how I would react to that. I keep telling myself not to get too attached to people, but at this point, I've given up all hope of not being attached to Kandace that she better not break up with me or else it would just suck.

If we did break up, not only would I have all the problems that breaking up with someone I'm attached to appear, but i would feel really guilty on top of that. She's recently given her virginity to me. I'm really glad she trusts me that much, and that she loves me enough to do that. What sucks though is that sex is still causing her pain. In her words it was something like the most painful experience in her life the first time. I hate causing her that kind of pain, and I try to figure out a way that she could enjoy sex without it being so painful. She seems to have accepted the pain as something that is inevitable, and that she'll get over eventually. When she is able to truely enjoy sex, I'll be happy, but I still feel a bit guilty about causing her pain in the meantime.

Okay, I think I've typed plenty for now, and lunch is ending right now, so I'm back to work. I love you Kandace, and I'll see you in a few hours.

-Josh

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