Instead of using (and possibly damaging) cellphone, make the "microscope" device usable on desktop or laptop computer:
Buy a cheap USB webcam, take it apart and remove lens - then write a simple program (probably using opencv) to analyse image, mark different cells and count them.

I hate my linux box for not letting me have this shiny thingy. It is a new trend - 7mil users and growing. I want one too!!!

All your points are correct from my standpoint.

After spending 7 years in sunny and colourful Berkeley, CA, I have decided to leave the states for good. Now after 7 years, I am more than glad for what I did - my kid is getting quality education and is able to play with other kids outdoors without fear of being kindapped for internal organs or shot as a bystander in random gang shooting.

Tap water quality is fine, but I still don't have courage to drink it - I must say I didn't drink California tap water either.

And as an software developer, I am able to complete jobs all over the world - online - sitting in my comfy chair.