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Killing yourself while climbing into a volcano sounds less stupid than throwing a bucket of water over your head and claiming it is good for research into a diseases.
And I can totally imagine them coming home and their grandparents asking them "Where did you go this year?" in the most obnoxious wasy possible, like all grandparents do. Good luck explaining this one!
Lua at least has a standard, can't say the same about Fortran where you just sort of decide whatever the hell you want to use at the time of writing your code. Oh, and you'll just love VHDL where you can make up array indices as you go, no questions asked.
I would like to add one thing: People forget that a kernel has to run on pretty much bare metal. If you're lucky you have BIOS there helping you a bit at the start, but not really. (Yay for obscure backwards compatibility tricks that the folks at Microsoft, IBM and Intel came up with.) So your standard libraries are usually quite limited, if you have them at all. And even then they're usually too slow to deal with anyway, so you end up rewriting everything in X86 assembly anyway.
They still have them in stock. I managed to find a new battery for a 10+ year old IBM Thinkpad for a very reasonable price, so you're not looking hard enough.
(And that's what you deserve for using a flawed product.Ten inch screens are post stamp size, useless for practical computing or even note taking.)
Yeah, he got it all wrong. You need to sell old rusty/broken aeroplane fixtures with sharp edges that otherwise get trashed. Saves you money on disposal of those, and you can make an extra buck out of the cage fight. Maybe provide a live video feed of the fight to the passengers in business class?