While neither a lover of Microsoft or Apple, calling Apple a monopoly is simply ludicrous. They hold about 3% of the global PC market (~7.7% in the US), 1% of the global cell phone market, and by some estimates about 23% of the Personal Digital Music Player market (Source: http://tinyurl.com/nm3m4n). Certainly not a monopoly in any of the markets. Microsoft on the other hand has ~90% global market share.
As far as why Apple is not abusing monopoly laws with their iTunes software as it relates to the iPod, for the same reason that Blackberry's and Palm's software does not abuse monopoly laws for connecting to their devices.
The hardest part of climbing the ladder of success is getting through the crowd at the bottom.