Except when you get false negatives all the time. I have a Compaq laptop that came installed with XP. Everytime I want to reinstall windows I have to call microsucks to activate it. In those same 20 minutes I can have pretty much any Linux Distro installed. Then I get to wait another two weeks to install updates, restart, install updates, restart, install updates, restart

Bad analogy. This is like Ford or GM telling you you have to use a specific brand of fuel or road to drive your car. Which is illegal.

Go find one for me. Of all the OSes you listed only Apple is easy to find, and that's on overpriced hardware.

This is what happens when you become a Microsucks Certified Unprofessional.