and if everyone else just chipped in and bought those $699 Loonix licenses they were selling, SCO wouldn't be in this mess to begin with.

Actually, I'll buy the rights to "/*" and "*/" and proceed to sue anyone that uses those symbols for IP violations. Maybe Microsoft will buy a license from me for a few mil so I can go after those freeloading Free Software programmers. Or maybe they can convince a canadian bank to invest in me so it doesn't look like they're the ones funding my litigation.

Then I can get the folks from Yank & Grope to echo my FUD so I can ride the credibility of MMORPGara and Diiddo. Nah, I wouldn't want Pb&J after me.

Oh yeah...

?

Profit!

I guess it's official -- Microsoft IS spyware!

That must've been a 486DX 'cause my ol SX couldn't do mp3s. Damn math co-processors! I had to settle for midis, .ra, and .au files. But not too much since Win 3.1 and all the other crap took up a lot of space on my 210MB hard drive.

Won't even discuss the old XT with dual 5 1/4 drives...which did wonders with some sheet music and GWBASIC's "play" command. Meh, the machine played arkanoid well enugh.

Yeah, now they've got mp3 players smaller than a pink pearl eraser. Damn these kids and their newfangled technology! I guess this is where I yell something about demanding that the juvenile miscreants evacuate my cultivated patch of grass.

Simple, you just hit the button(s) that correspond to the terror alert level they announce on the ensuing telethon. If Kanye shows up, you can use star power.

I figure that the variation of Caesar Cipher, ROT13, was easy to decipher so for maximum security, I always run it through the ROT13 encoder twice before I send it. Hell, I'm encoding this message in that method now so it will have to take a bit of cunning for you to read this comment. So if you've managed to read this, congratulations, you are qualified to work in Microsoft's security department.

I see you have Farmville Masteries in Onions, Peppers, and Corn as well as a stable full of horses. Here are free coupons for $.99 off your next Taco Bell purchase!

And here I thought my fast reflexes and hand-eye coordination were due to my abnormally large midi-chlorian count. With this article, I'll never convince my brother that I'm a jedi knight! Buzzkilled by science once again. "This is not the article you're looking for."

More One liners...

* They need to make sure that the project is on track
* Wait, this isn't the land of make believe!
* And there they are, just chugging along...
* Is this a hold up? No, it's a science experiment!
* On that note, shouldn't it be pushing a DeLorean around?
* I'm surprised I hadn't heard anyone rail against this.
* all their findings have to start with "If the californium-252 train leaves the station at 5 o'clock..."

I wrote an experimental javascript blackjack prog where if I type in "upupdowndownleftrightleftrightBASTARD" I always win. Seemed like a good, easy to remember input combo. :)

Arrr! May you come to see the light and be touched by his GNUdley appendage.

I quite like referring to it as arranging a meeting with "the board of education"

You kids are lucky with your newfangled HighHo MegaZip drives. I lost all my data when my wax tablet accidentally got flashed next to the fireplace where I was cooking dinner. I lost a fortnight's worth of work and literally had to start from scratch.

Blah blah kids [mumble] lawn!!!

And yes, I just realized you had a lower slashdot ID than I. Sorry, grandpa, I was just having some fun on these things you like to call a series of tubes. :)

Hey, I think I saw this guy at a healthcare townhall meeting!

>> she has to call me to ask what program she needs to do X

just to incite a flamewar, what do you recommend to do X -- kde, gnome, or xfce? :)

In other news, I've scrounged up some old hardware and can't seem to get it running properly with the latest kubuntu. It's one of those Hauppauge PCI PVR things that is said to be supported. I was eventually able to get audio but no video yet. Even then, I had to do some CLI-thing to make component the default input. KDE goes unusable when I turn on desktop effects (flashes off and on, slows down the machine) with an HIS Radeon HD4850 and the proprietary drivers from the ubuntu repos. I've had to do the Alt-Shift-F12 thing to have a shot at disabling it. I also have an old Canon scanner E3000 or something like that which SANE lists as unsupported.

I've been running Linux now in one form or another for quite a bit. Went from Red Hat to Mandrake to Ubuntu/Kubuntu spanning 3 different machines. I've put up with having to fsck with wireless drivers and finding out certain products (same name, different chipset...bad Linksys!) just weren't supported. I still like it better than the alternatives, for the most part. Right now, though, if I have to scan pictures or record/transfer VHS video to my HDD, I have to boot to XP.

It's not exactly the "your grandma" experience and I guess I take some of the blame by not doing as much research and just hoping that parts I had laying around would work effortlessly. I still likes teh Linux...now if I can get those things to work, that'd be great.