Moreover, Windows 7 just doesn't do some things any more that XP does. My other half has some old DOS era games she enjoys playing from time to time, but Windows 7 can't run them (without installing a whole VM and FreeDOS or something similarly dramatic). In XP, they just work. I do appreciate that Microsoft spend a lot of time and money maintaining backward compatibility for a very long time, but the fact is that they have chosen to break it in some cases in Windows 7, and that is a black-and-white loss if you happen to want to run the older stuff. Ditto for older hardware (where by older, in some cases I mean not very old at all but the vendor is an ass and never released Windows 7 drivers so you have to buy their new model instead).
because it would be slow, suck, and annoyingly cause most of your incoming calls to end up going straight to voicemail
Then schedule your torrents to kick in between 1 AM and 6 AM, when your incoming calls were going to voice mail anyway.
UMTS quite happily supports multi-RAB (i.e. both voice and data at the same time) so your incoming calls shouldn't end up going straight to voicemail.
So... did you ever wonder, do garbagemen take showers before they go to work?