By "referring to someone in a gender-neutral manner" I thought you meant "referring to someone in a way that does not make any statement about gender", but I think you are talking about people who use "they" to refer to people who themselves use "he" or "she", is that right? Can I take a slightly different view on that? When the people who do that do consistently use "he" or "she" for the vast majority of people, only using "they" for people who do not sufficiently fit gender stereotypes, it becomes quite obvious that "they" is not used in a gender-neutral manner in the first place, that "they" is actually used *to* make a statement about gender rather than to avoid making one. And that, of course, is misgendering. On the other hand, the sentence "LenKagetsu wrote a comment about gender", as an example, does manage to refer to you in a way that makes no statement about gender. That is not misgendering, is it?