OK, so wow. Just wow.
I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt since you seem to mean well but that post was seriously fucked up on many levels. I kind of want to tear you a new one but I'm going to try and refrain since you seem to at least have your heart in sort of the right place.
First, social engineering skills != social skills. Not even close. Actual social skills that actual healthy adults have are a combination of understanding the motivations of others and having respect for them as individuals. People are not a set of walking stimulus/response sets for someone to manipulate. A failure to distinguish between the two is very common amongst intelligent, socially awkward types. Hacker types *are* socially awkward on average. The thing is that most people in hacker circles manage to learn actual social skills at some point. Sadly a portion of them never grow out of the mindset that crude, non-consensual manipulation of others for entertainment or gain is somehow indicative that they have learned to interact with other people on a meaningful level. Also, the ability to trick an over-trusting secretary out of a password on the phone hardly makes one the next Machiavelli, just FYI.
Second, yes poor social skills *are* the heart of the matter. I've been around plenty of social settings (including many hacker/geek social settings) where there were drugs, alcohol, hot women (sometimes hot men and women in states of undress and sometimes having sex) where people managed to not be immature douchebags and treated each other with respect. This is a cultural problem and needs to be treated as such. Yes, it's sometimes kind of annoying when a girl acts all slutty and shows off her body because she wants attention but that in no way entitles everyone in eyesight to groping her uninvited any more than a guy wearing an expensive watch or driving an ostentatious car deserves to be mugged/carjacked for doing so. And it *DEFINITELY* does not excuse other people from degrading and intimidating women as a group because a few of them chose to act a certain way any more than I should feel entitled to walk down the street, punching random guys in the face for the actions of a few sexist idiots.
Third, I definitely agree that everyone at such an event should feel safe and it's heartening that you bring this up. However you kind of fall flat on your face in the next sentence. You think people should feel safe so that the 'most attractive females' will keep showing up? Excuse me? I thought Defcon was about hacking and computer skills, not so that you can eye hot girls. There is a whole internet full of naked, hot girls you can ogle to your heart's content and plenty of hot girls in Vegas you can go out and hit on and lots of hot prostitutes in the greater state of Nevada you can pay to sleep with if that's what you are interested in. Also note how your rationale is conspicuously missing any reference to making female computer hackers feel welcome or any indication that women can be something other than 'attractive young fangirl/cheerleaders'.
Lastly, the community definitely needs to shoulder some of the blame. Yes, Defcon should implement some sort of comprehensive policy towards harassment that is clear and well enforced. But that is only half the solution. Human culture is *not* a clean set of equations that a few rule changes can reform like tweaking the code for The Sims. Rule changes are pretty useless - ultimately, they have to find an impossible sweet spot between being toothless and draconian and rules by themselves will never change the minds of people any more than all those DARE ads convinced us all that drugs are bad. That you seem to think so is not surprising given your attitude towards social engineering.
However, you need to get through your head that the larger Defcon community is partially at fault for tolerating a hostile environment and that a broader, self-initiated social shift is required if any meaningful change is going to happen. When a woman has someone run up and grab her crotch without consent and that person blends into the crowd, there were a room full of witnesses that stood by and did nothing to stop it. Every time some jackass does on an anti-woman/anti-gay/anti-man/anti-whatever tirade and the rest of the room stands around uncomfortably quiet or nodding their heads to smooth things over, they are part of the problem. What it's going to take to solve the problem is a combination of the hacker/Defcon community in general making it clear that sort of behavior isn't OK. You need people in both the community as well as the con staff that see people acting like asses and engage them:
"Hey man, I know that you're a little tossed and that girl is really hot but she's not into you at all. And she isn't going to get any more into you from you telling her what you want to do with her tits and groping her."
"No man, she's not a cunt because she's not into you. You're not a shit because you're not interested in the gay guy at the end of the bar that's been eyeing you for the past 20 minutes."
"Yes, that dude's into you. And no, that's not a reason to punch him, settle the fuck down."
"Why? Because it's natural to want to look at people you think are attractive and he's not being a giant dick about it like you were to that girl."
"C'mon, let's get a round and talk war stories and I'll give you some pointers on pickup lines and I'll be wingman while you find some girls that are actually into you that you can hit on. Deal?"
Followed by:
"Awesome man, where doing this, where making this happen!"
or
"Huh, too bad you still feel that way. You're free to be an asshole but I and my friends will be keeping an eye on you and if you keep acting like this, we're going to rat you out to security."
If you can head off bad behavior before it escalates to the point of assault and harassment, you not only save the victims of said behavior but also save the potential perps from becoming perps and suffering the eventual punitive actions. You're only going to have that happen when the community at large takes responsibility and steps up to let people that do this sort of stuff know that it's wrong and why it's wrong.