Me and my big mouth... Spoke too soon; it can be "contracted" in eleven states (like a disease! ha ha):

"Common-law marriage can still be contracted in eleven states (Alabama, Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, New Hampshire (posthumously), Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas, and Utah) and in the District of Columbia."

Yeesh! Well, out of those, the only ones I kind of like are New Hampshire and Colorado, and in New Hampshire you have to die first so I figure that's not that bad.

Anyway, I'm safe! I'm a New Yorker!

Actually, I append "TheHermit" to my name across the board, because I'm basically a crazy techo-hermit. In my apartment, it's just me and my gear! And where other hermits used to focus their energies on religious study, all I care about is programming and art.

It kinda works for me though, I think. Plus, it's in my email, so women know INSTANTLY I'm basically antisocial and dislike groups. It's like product labeling.

Common law marriage is NO LONGER LEGAL in the U.S. It hasn't been for decades.

FYI.

Well, so far the feds haven't really gotten anywhere. I'm optimistic. :)

Heh... I promised myself I would never get married to anybody, ever. Thus, I would never have to worry about being divorced and having to hand half of my income and assets to a person who used to love me but now hated me.

Women never seem to understand this basic concept: if you don't get married, you won't get divorced.

Other side effects include: being able to do whatever you want with your life, without interference; never having to stay in a bitter relationship for fear of legal trouble; not having to buy a house and minivan.

Have fun, stay single!

Not so fast. As usual for guys like you, you don't know as much about the U.S. as you think you do.

The Federal government only makes and enforces FEDERAL laws, and those mostly apply to interstate commerce.

The laws that are applied to individuals, in their neighborhoods, are state and local laws. These vary incredibly widely from state to state, as do political attitudes, and the general demeanor of the people you'll meet if you walk around and talk to them.

HERE IS A VERY SIMPLE EXAMPLE.

Everyone has heard about the "war on drugs" correct? Well, the Federal Government strongly encourages states to make Marijuana illegal. It's listed on some schedule under which the Feds have declared it a terrible thing. If YOU were right, all states would have terrible laws against marijuana use and possession, and they would all be about the same.

BUT! In Arizona, you get caught smoking pot and you're going to jail for 1/2 to 1 1/2 years, and can be forced to pay a $750 - $150,000 fine.

In Texas, and this surprised me, if you have no prior convictions the judge can just let you go. If he doesn't, he MUST sentence you to probation and a treatment program. That is amazingly progressive for Texas, which I usually like to make fun of.

Here in New York, getting caught with a joint will get you nothing more than a $100 ticket ($200 for the second offense, if you keep doing it eventually they'll put you in the county jail for a couple of days for being a pain in the ass).

In Michigan, getting caught with pot will get you up to 90 days and a $100 fine. If you don't annoy the judge, it might be only a day or two, or probation. I've heard of people getting a $5 fine and a moderately stern lecture.

So, YOUR point is invalid in regards to freedom. Our freedom is primarily regulated by STATE LAWS (and local judges), not Federal ones.

Sort of like Europe! You'd rather be governed by France's laws than Turkey's, right?

Same thing.

Thanks! You ever notice, the U.S. is about the size of Europe, and the individual states are about the size of European countries (except Alaska, which is the size of the continent of Australia), but nobody over there ever realizes the similarity?

They think of Europe as a constellation of totally different places, and the U.S. as a single completely uniform place. This makes me think Europeans are completely illogical, like Glenn Beck listeners who think calling French Fries "Freedom Fries" is a good idea.

The funniest thing of all is that they say "Ahhh, all you Americans think you split the atom, but who did this? Europeans who moved to America." But this description -- "Europeans who moved to America" -- covers virtually EVERYONE IN AMERICA except Native Americans!

Realistically, America is nothing but Europe, Mark 2. You know, the improved model.

EXACTLY what I was trying to say!

I just thought of something else as well.

Europeans' belief that they are superior is actually RECURSIVE!

They start out by pretending all of Europe is like France.

Then they pretend all of France is like Paris.

Then they pretend all of Paris is like a fancy neighborhood IN Paris.

Then they pretend that whole neighborhood is like that street they shot that movie on that time. In black and white with background music, no less.

They don't seem to have an exit condition though. They just keep calling "allOfEuropeIsLike(String trendierPlace)". I suppose eventually they'll run out of CPU and get stuck with their mouth open, latte halfway to their lips, galoise hanging jauntily off their tongue, turtleneck catching fire from the ashes...

The US is no more homogeneous than Europe is. Just as you have fairly varied laws between, say, France and Turkey (which is part of Europe if not the EU), we have fairly varied laws as well.

It is unfair of you to cherry-pick the things that happen in our "crazy" states and pretend that they're representative of the United States.

Think of it this way.

The United States is like a family with fifty members.

You've got the bookish preppies (New England, New York, some states in the Northern Midwest, and the Pacific Northwest), their country cousins, (much of the Midwest and the SouthEast), and Uncle Hippy (California)... They're generally OK, you can have a normal conversation with them, and nothing weird will happen.

Then you've got the weird cousins everyone else tries to avoid (the dumber of the "Red" states, of which Texas is probably the worst). They pick on strangers, they get drunk and punch out environmentalists, and in general, embarrass the whole family.

You Europeans are like people living across the street, gossiping about us because we threw a barbecue and the whole weird family showed up. Forgotten are all the good things the family does, our literary works, our scientific discoveries, the two or three times we've called the police and stopped your house from getting burgled, and the fact that we're generally good neighbors. All you want to harp on is that Cousin Joe from Texas got drunk, stripped naked, climbed a telephone pole, and peed on a police officer. You think we're all terrible because of Cousin Joe. It lets you feel all SUPERIOR.

I think maybe it went like this:

(CIA Spy Meeting)

Boss: Ok, guys, we need someone to head over to the gadget morgue and take a bunch of pictures of old stuff we used to use back in the fifties. Some muckety-muck thinks it'll make us look all family-friendly or something. Oh, and you've got to do some puzzles for kids with that nerd in IT.

Spy 1: Oh, HELL no. I'm booked up for the whole rest of the week, I've got to kill that guy in Turkey, then I've got that thing in Italy...

Spy 2: I'm working with Spy 1 on that, I'm booked up too.

Spy 3: Don't look at me, I've got to head to Beijing tomorrow, we're hiring a hacker.

Boss: "Hiring"?

Spy 3: Heh, well, "involuntarily" (all laugh)

Spy 4: Sorry boss, heading to low Earth orbit to test the ion cannon on some missle site somewhere... Haven't been briefed yet. Also it's my anniversary on Friday.

Boss: Well? Milton? That leaves you.

Milton: But... But..

Boss: Mmm... Yeah, I'm going to need you to come in on Saturday too. Sunday maybe.

Milton: But... But... I have to...

Boss: Ah, what's that? I've been looking for that! Thanks! (takes stapler).

There are a few things you can do, though:

1) Don't let your developers go berserk with their framework of choice. Standardize on something company-wide, thoroughly audit/evaluate it as a platform, assign staff to maintain and patch it, and train everyone else on how to securely develop for it. I know corporations hate to train or otherwise improve their staff, but at some point they're going to have to bite the bullet.

2) Build an internal team and use them for your development needs. Mentor them, build institutional knowledge, have a succession plan in place. Stop contracting everything out to the other side of the planet and then feigning surprise when it falls over in the first stiff wind.

3) SIMPLICITY IS YOUR FRIEND. Don't let your developers make your site complex because they want to work with a cool framework or show off their skills. Do design reviews and simplify, simplify, simplify.

4) Treat all new developers as apprentices, and make them work under a "journeyman" for their first year (usually their probationary period) until they prove themselves and have learned how you do things.

It's not rocket science, it's common sense. Well... Common among older programmers, anyway.

Yeah, but look at it from a developer's standpoint... This means that if you program for Android, you can serve 2/3 of the smartphone platforms out there with one code base. That's pretty sweet, you've got to admit.

The malware issue will probably be solved with updates over time, as Google figures out what people are getting up to and deals with it. Remember, Android is still pretty young. I'm sure it'll get better.

I think this is pretty cool, myself. I've already decided my next tool's going to be android, this makes it even more fun.

Thanks, Rim! Good job!

Doesn't everyone wipe the disk and install LInux or BSD as soon as they get home? I'm confused.

Well, it's clear that you don't understand WHY you're wrong, and you're not about to listen to corrective advice. I prefer to take my leave of you and ignore you in the future, as I would any other rude person.

So, let me see if I understand your argument.

You claim that because I believe we should all endeavor to be polite to others, and take offense at impolite, rude behavior, that I must be mentally ill. Also, you encourage people to make jokes at other's expense, mocking their pain and suffering, because YOU personally enjoy doing so.

Based on this brief analysis, it is my opinion that I am completely sane and well adjusted. YOU on the other hand are a sociopathic fuckwit. I recommend therapy, and possibly strong psychotropic medication.

Fuckwit.