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Comment Re:Really? (Score 1) 153

Have to agree. Not all students are bright enough to be in labs. When I was at Uni, we had one guy who, after everyone got told NOT to sniff the chloroform, said, 'Why not?' and sniffed it. He was in a coma for a few weeks, and then when he came out of it tried to sue the University for not giving him sufficient warning. The lawsuit failed. A lot of us had always wondered how he got into Uni in the first place, as he was thick as two bricks and very weird. (Weird, as in, turned up to our geology field trip in mid-winter in shorts, flip flops and a T-shirt, then saw an ice cream van and went and got ice cream ... whilst the rest of us were rugged up to the eye balls complaining of the cold).

Comment In the right Universe (Score 1) 353

Yes, in the right Universe this plane would have turned the Battle of Britain in favour of the French. Napoleon, Vercingetorix and Joan of Arc would have been standing in Blenheim Palace on top of Queen Elizabeth I, Queen Victoria and Disraeli's dismembered body parts, as they lay strewn amongst the wreckage of their Hurricane, Spitfire and Vauxhall Chevette ornithopter. The giant spice mammoths of the Russian tundra would have been no more after Trotsky's successful assassination of Joseph Stalin left Russia rich and defenceless, and the Japanese giant Iguana monster would be running rampant across Northern America smashing San Francisco to fine dust and weeing on the Washington monument turning the Potomac a bright radiated yellow colour. Cats sleeping with dogs, children refusing to obey their parents and every man wanting to write a book about it.

Comment Yes, but what if I impersonate a 100 y/o woman? (Score 1) 137

Togged to the bricks, and all they offer me is a trip for biscuits. Just wanted a ring-a-ding ding and some Bruno slips me a Micky Finn in a clip joint. Next thing I know, I'm waking up in a flop with some Lunger wearing iron who suddenly runs to the window and starts drilling beans at a tin can full of Joes. So I make tracks before the coppers turn up with a meat wagon and someone ends leaving in a Chicago overcoat.

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