Comment Re:No second chances... (Score 2, Interesting) 167
I remember a friend of mine getting suspended in elementary school for saying "I wish you would die" to someone who had been bullying them.
Actually, I think it IS a horrible and dangerous attitude when a kid says something like that. It may not be much of a threat then, but it shows that the child is being allowed to mature without the necessary coping skills for teenage and adult relationships, which she'll one day have to deal with. I think the parent who taught the kid this kind of attitude should be focused on more than the kid, but definitely, I think kids with this sort of behaviour should be detected, taken aside, and taught a wiser approach to life.
Sheesh. I remember when I was in either kindergarten or first grade, someone was bullying me, and I said to them "The world would be a better place if you were dead." They started crying (at the time, all I was thinking was "Ha! That stopped them."), and went to a teacher, who pulled me aside, and explained to me the actual ramifications of what I had said. Hell, I was in first grade. At that time parents still tell you that the dog "ran away" rather than died, and even if they had, you don't always understand at that age what death really means. But when the teacher told me that what I said was inappropriate, and I asked my parents about it later, I - at least as far as I could at that time - understood what was up and I didn't do it again. That's all that needed to happen. It makes me shiver to think that had that happened today - 20 years later - instead of then, it isn't unlikely that I'd have been hauled away and suspended.
I recall another case in 2nd grade where we were asked to draw a real flag we had seen (either in person or in pictures) that wasn't the American flag. Most people drew the state flag, or the Canadian or British flag. I didn't know any of those. I didn't even know the state flag at the time. But I had seen my parents watching a documentary on World War II (although I didn't really pay attention) so I drew the only other flag I knew - the Nazi one. The teacher took it away, pulled me aside and explained a bit about World War II, and that that particular flag wasn't appropriate, and told me to ask my parents about it when I got home, which I did, and it was clear that it wasn't really appropriate for school. Simple. She gave me a book of flags and I picke a different one and drew it. Kids really can be quite understanding if you give actual explanations beyond "BECAUSE WE SAID SO". Again, today, I'd probably have been expelled before even being told why what I had drawn was inappropriate.
I can think of numerous things that I saw happen to all sorts of students back in school where the "proper response" - the teacher/administrator coming in and being the 'adult' - led to long-standing resolutions where kids understood what was up. Things like suspension were rare and for the most severe cases. But these days you don't see it - the fear of lawsuits, the fear of decision-making, has led to a school culture where a single aspirin pill may as well be 2 kg of heroin, and a plastic knife may as well be a machine gun with cyanide-tipped bullets.