Why so serious?

Shhh.... Managers might be listening.

I hereby patent the antisocial network. Now get off my lawn.

Good thing Orville wasn't on the No Fly List.

You can count on metrics being a problem.

Lister: Any problems?
Kryten: Well, just one or two. In fact I've compiled a little list if you'll indulge me. Now then, uh, my optical system doesn't appear to have a zoom function.
Lister: No, human eyes don't have a zoom.
Kryten: Well then, how do you bring a small object into sharp focus?
Lister: Well, you just move your head closer to the object.
Kryten: I see. Move your head ... closer, hmm, to the object.

- What about the internet? Do ya like the internet?
- Oh, lolcats! No, no lolcats. Everything these days is lolcats. Lolcats and a lot of noise. Nobody even knows how to type. Just l33t speak and Rick Roll each other.

Maybe try his facebook.

They don't make recluses like they used to.

Yes, we were all thinking it.

The infamous MadTV skit.

If you go on ebay you can get an old Fujitsu LT-500 (early slate) for around one-hundred dollars. Or you can get an Toshiba Portege m200 (convertible) for about 200 - 300 hundred if you shop pretty aggressively. The Fujitsu runs Win2K and the Toshiba runs all Windows up to and including Win7 with the tablet extensions. You can wait for Apple to release the "first" and most awesome tablet in history, if it doesn't turn out to be vaporware, or you can buy a computer which exists for the price point you want. I did this, and consequently I don't drool over the latest press releases from Apple.

Don't worry if you clicked the link, you are one of the 198,052 who did the same.

To get the metrics on the link just type /info/ between bit.ly and the unique identifier like this http://bit.ly/info/4kb77v

Open source, people

http://scribus.net/

I read your comment as "Use at your own perl!"