In latin for the moment. My shirt is wet. The EB had a mini super-soaker that he was squirting at people. I play acted play acting mad, so that he wouldn't realize what an ass I think he is.

G2 is getting scared, I think. She's been clinging, which I don't like. But she's also been getting more physical, which I do. J says that being physical with women is the trickiest part of a relationship, which is about the only bit of his dating advice that I'd agree with.

Subject: Let me be with you

(g1),

I love you. You're everything that anyone could ask for. Just so you know, in the dark hours, that you're special and someone cares.

Another blog entry today, because I feel like it.

I've decided, after study hall, that I'll have to just say something. Make it anonymous, but make it guessable. Include a calling card: Something that may let her guess, but not something freaky.. I don't want her to think I'm a stalker: She's had a problem with that. I'm thinking of referencing chobits: It's a common favorite.

G1's finally gone from across from me in study hall. I can't get over her. Why I can't I can't fathom, but she just keeps running across my mind.

I didn't write yesterday. I probably should have, but I couldn't see a reason. All of yesterday was dreading school and trying to drown the anticipation all that would be due today in games.

Today was one of those "Uber" days. Truly awesome.

The start was kinda crazy. I drove to the mall, where I got Christmas presents for my family. "Princess Diaries 2" for my sister, "Rush Hour" (the silly puzzle game) for my little brother, "The Dark Tower" for my Dad. My mother's tea chest may not get here though... I'm gonna keep hoping.

R has been throwing herself at me. I'm really not interested. She's a nice person, but.. I don't know.

I hate how high school has become a babysitting service. You crawl your way up on mounds of homework for an "A" to get into a good college. None of the teachers begin to teach anything. What you may learn you learn from asking around and from researching yourself to try and keep up with the tests and homework. Class periods are spend trying to stay awake while the teacher wastes time.

Again in study hall. Packing up... I've got sci club this afternoon. Have I mentioned how g1 seems to run when g2 is around? It's really annoying. G2 is nice and all, but she's throwing herself at me too much...

What I really need to find is whether it's worth perusing g1 over g2, and whether I can convince myself to the result.

What is now yesterday has passed without an entry.

It doesn't feel like yesterday to me. I woke up at 6:20, as usual, but I went back to sleep before 7 because I was sick. I'm much better now.

Today hasn't been a good day for my thoughts. G1 totally ignoring me at a couple points (And I don't know why), g2 telling me, of all the odd things, that RS is hot, three tests... I've been cut off from sanity. As it is, I've got a huge lab report to do and two major projects to start.

Yesterday's blog was not some of my best work. I was angry and upset at the time. What I said was true, but not the whole truth. But what is the whole truth?

Truth is a nebulous concept. I find myself constantly questioning it. To many, it is the truth that abortion is immoral, but to others it is the truth that denying the right of choice is immoral. Perspective affects truth.

Why can't my parents listen? I've been telling them for years I cannot survive this school system, and they keep sending me back. It's partially my fault: I want to try and live a normal life, but every year it becomes apparent that this will be no different than the rest and they force me to stick with it. Nothing is worth this. Not sex, not money, not even knowledge (not that I would get it here) is worth going back to the slog tomorrow.

Just got home, and I'm not sure what to write tonight. Mostly, this blog has been about my pain and fears, my hopes and sorrows, and the people I interact with. I've interacted with others today, but it's been a bright day. Fun for all, I did some things I wanted to do, and I feel better. However, every Saturday I feel better, then Sunday comes and school is just around the corner and I get depressed again.

x\\ spell your name backwards: k2_ih
x\\ have you ever had a song written about you: Just a really bad rap by a drunken friend.
x\\ what song makes you cry: Tiny Dancer, Elton John
x\\ what song makes you happy: Digital Love, Daft Punk.
x\\ what's your all time fav. song?: Walking on the Sun, Smash Mouth. Though Sandstorm by Darude comes close
x\\ what do you listen to before you go to sleep: too much. I've got several day's worth of OGG's on continuous loop
x\\ height: 5' 6

Once again in study hall. G1 is playing a game right next to me. I think anything with her is just a pipe dream, but I just can't stop thinking about her. I don't know if it's love or just mental lust, but every waking moment she's running through my head.

I talked to R some more today. She randomly was in my study hall: She normally has a class, but her teacher was unexpectedly absent. We chatted for a while, then when she left J came up and teased me about her again.

As I write this, g1 is close enough to touch but out of reach. I'm on the late bus heading out of hell. My sister just got on, but thankfully didn't see me and charged right past. G1 is seated back one row on the opposite side, normally perfect for conversation were it not for my friend J who is sitting next to me, blocking the conversation angle. I've written all of these so far on the bus. Oddly enough, I'm flirting with this girl named R, who is ranting about human behavior. She's kinda in