Three computer users, one Windows, one Apple, one Linux go to the restroom. After being done, the Apple user washes his hands and uses a lot of paper towels to dry them. He says: "Apple users are very thorough."

The Windows user washes his hands, takes only one paper towel and uses even the last little bit. He says: "Windows users are not only thorough, but very economical."

Then they look at the Linux user who just walks out of the door, looks back and says: "Linux users don't piss on our hands."

I've come up with a way to reduce--perhaps even eliminate--our dependence on foreign oil as an energy source.

As more and more civil liberties are trampled upon, faster and faster will the Founding Fathers spin in their respective graves.

If we attach magnets to each Founding Father, then wrap copper wire around each of them, we should have a potentially unlimited energy source. Well, at least until the Libertarians get elected in significant numbers--so yeah, come to think of it, it truly is unlimited.

The AC frequency, of course, might be unpredictable. In fact, I'd suspect it will be ever-increasing, which could create some technical issues to overcome. But we're smart people, I'm sure we can figure it out.

What do you all say? Shall we write up a grant proposal?

Seriously though, you don't need to *disguise* a GWB bash-o-thon as humor. It *is* humor.

"If someone is playing something it can be recorded even with the most secure format ever invented! How? Easy, i can record what I fucking hear you twits."

Child porn is the root password to the Constitution. "Terrorism" is the alternate password.

The purpose of blaming Rockstar is to direct attention away from themselves, and it's working. If it wasn't Rockstar, they would be blaming Bush, or Harry Potter, or anything else but themselves for how they are taking our tax dollars and failing our children.

but the harry potter movie isn't your property

The hell it isn't!

All media is my property, because it's everyone's property,
collectively -- it's the property of the Public Domain. J.K
Rowling merely has been granted an exclusive (but temporary)
lease by the U.S Government. She paid for the lease by writing
the novels, and in return she gets the right to sell
licenses for her work for a limited period of time. Once that
time is up the lease expires and the right to sell licenses
reverts back to the original owner, which is the People.

> I've heard or read that there is a no zone damage system.
> Does this mean that when I shoot a civilian in the head with a bow and arrow that they will not die?

They wont die because you shot them in the head.

They might die due to the "Bow of sharpy mega death" with its +1,000,000 wtfbbqrofl damage critical hitting them for pwnatude damage.

I enjoyed typing that.

FIRST FIND THE MONTH THAT YOU WERE BORN IN
January: I fireballed
February: I dressed up as
March: I squished
April: I partied with
May: I stabbed
June: I electrocuted
July: I made out with
August: I won
September: I threw rocks at
October: I stealth killed
November: I ate
December: I sold
NOW FIND THE DAY THAT YOU WERE BORN ON

01: the Nerevarine
02: an Imperial Guard
03: a shopkeep
04: a smith
05: Fargoth
06: The Emporer
07: a Daedroth
08: a Spriggan
09: an Imp
10: a zombie
11: Han Solo
12: every member of the Thieves Guild
13: every member of the Fighters Guild
14: every member of the Dark Brotherhood
15: every member of the Mages Guild
16: a necromancer
17: a mage
18: a battlemage
19: a warrior
20: a barbarian
21: a rogue
22: a thief
23: a ranger
24: an alchemist
25: an enchanter
26: a sissy
27: the village idiot
28: a scrib
29: a Kwama Queen
30: your face
31: my mother
FIND THE FIRST LETTER OF YOUR USERNAME

A: for 100 gold.
B: because my mom made me.
C: because I'm a stupid fanboy.
D: for my girlfriend/ boyfriend.
E: and it sucked.
F: in a drinking contest.
G: while jumping up and down.
H: after work/ school.
I: because I like that sort of thing.
J: in Cyrodill.
K: because I love myself.
L: and everyone laughed heartily.
M: because I hate my life.
N: because the voices told me to.
O: in an attempted suicide.
P: and everyone made fun of me.
Q: to stop the pain.
R: so I could make friends.
S: because it led to good karma.
T: because I hate TES.
U: to see what would happen.
V: for public recognition.
W: for all the wrong reasons.
X: because I said so, THAT'S WHY!
Y: in the horse stalls.
Z: instead of doing what I was supposed to.

"...this government, swollen and arrogant with pelf, goes butting into our business...It checks the amount of tropical oils in our snack foods, tells us what kind of gasoline we can buy for our cars and how fast we can drive them, bosses us around about retirement, education, and what's on TV; counts our noses and asks fresh questions about who's still living at home and how many bathrooms we have; decides whether the door to our office or shop should have steps or a wheelchair ramp; decrees the sex and complexion of the people we hire there; lectures us on safe sex; dictates what we can sniff, smoke, and swallow; and waylays young men, ships them to distant places, and tells them to shoot people they don't even know."
-- P.J.O'Rourke

* Debian stable is slow as hell. Debian unstable is too unstable for me.
* Mandriva is too newbie oriented.
* SUSE is for Windows users. Everything revolves around Yast and I don't like it.

Texas is seeking civil penalties of $2 * 2 * 2 * 2 * 2 * 5 * 5 * 5 * 5 * 5 per violation of the state's Consumer Protection Against Computer Spyware Act.

Good thing Texas hasn't been teaching "intelligent math" (the theory that big numbers are too BIG to ever come from little numbers) else they'd never figure out how much sony's penalities will be.

Three mice were sitting in a bar, each trying to impress the others with how tough they were.

The first one said, "When I see a mousetrap, I deliberately set it off, bench press the bar fifty times, then snack on the cheese."

The second one, not to be outdone, said, "Yeah? Well, every morning when I get out of bed, I stir in some cream and rat poison in my coffee. It gives me a good buzz that really wakes me up and gets me going."

They both look at the third mouse who, after a few seconds, gets up and says, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I've got to go home and fuck the cat."

It does Sony no good either because the files are rippable on a whim by anything more intelligent than a half-drunk monkey.

"In Germany they came first for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up." Quote by Martin Niemoller