-----------

About six months ago, I was overexerting myself trying to get rid of a terrible virus on a client's PC (I own a PC repair shop and have been fixing computers for over 10 years). Given my level of expertise, I thought I'd be able to get rid of it fairly quickly and without hassle, but as was made evident by my colossal failure, I was horribly, horribly wrong.

I couldn't remove the virus no matter what method I used. I tried all the latest anti-virus software and all the usual tricks, but it was all in vain. Failure after failure, my life was slowly being sucked away as I spent more and more of my time trying to get rid of this otherworldly virus.

Frustrated and stressed by my own failure, I began distancing myself from my wife and children. After a few days, I began verbally abusing them, and it eventually escalated into physical abuse. I was slowly losing what remaining sanity I had left. If this had continued for much longer, it is highly probable that I would have committed suicide. A mere shell of what I once was, I barricaded myself in my bedroom and cried myself to sleep for days on end.

That's when it happened: I found MyCleanPC! I installed MyCleanPC right on the client's PC, ran a scan, and it immediately got rid of all the viruses without a single problem. MyCleanPC accomplished in record time what I was unable to accomplish after a full week. Wow! Such a thing!

MyCleanPC is outstanding! My client's computer is running faster than ever! I highly recommend you install MyCleanPC right this minuteness, run a scan, and then boost your PC speed in record time! MyCleanPC came through with flying colours where no one else could!

My client's response? "MyCleanPC totally cleaned up my system, and increased my speed!" All the PC repair professionals are using MyCleanPC to solve all of their problems. This should be reason enough for you to switch to MyCleanPC! It'll speed up your computer, rid it of all viruses, and you'll be able to work productively again! Wow!

Even if you're not having any obvious computer problems, you could still be in trouble. That's why I very highly recommend that you still use MyCleanPC. After all, it will boost your PC & internet speed to levels you never would think are possible!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC.

-----------

A few weeks ago, I foolishly ran a strange executable file that one of my acquaintances sent me by email. As someone who doesn't know much about computers, at the time, I thought nothing of it. "Why would my acquaintance want to hurt me?" Following this line of thought, I ran the file without question.

How naive I was. Despite having what was supposedly the best anti-virus software out right then, a virus took over my computer and held it hostage. It was pretending to be a warning from Windows telling me to buy some strange anti-virus software I'd never heard of from a company I'd never heard of to remove the virus.

This immediately set alarm bells off in my head. "How could this happen? My anti-virus is supposed to be second to none!" Faced with this harsh and depressing reality, I decided to take it to a PC repair shop for repair. They gladly accepted the job, told me it'd be fixed in a few days, and sent me off with a smile.

A few days later, they called me and told me to come pick up my computer. At the time, I noticed that they sounded like whimpering animals, but I concluded that it must just be stress from work. When I arrived, they, with tears in their eyes, told me that the virus was so awful and merciless that they were unable to remove it. "Ah," I thought. "That must be why they sounded so frustrated and pathetic over the phone. Their horrible failure must have truly shattered their pride as professionals." I later found out that two of them had committed suicide.

After returning home, I tried to fix it myself (despite the fact that even the professionals couldn't do it). After about a day or so, I was losing my very mind. I stopped going to work, stopped eating, was depressed, and I would very frequently throw my precious belongings across the room and break them; that is how bad this virus was.

That's when it happened: I found MyCleanPC! I installed MyCleanPC, ran a scan, and let it remove all the viruses! They were removed in precisely 2.892 seconds. Wow! Such a thing! I can't even believe this as such never before! MyCleanPC is outstanding! My computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC came through with flying colors where no one else could!

MyCleanPC totally cleaned up my system, and increased my speed! If you're having computer problems, or even if you aren't having any obvious problems, I recommend that you use MyCleanPC. As a user, it did more for me that any so-called "professional." It'll even boost your PC & internet speed!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC.

-----------

A few days ago, a customer brought in their PC for repair. They told me that they had a very nasty virus that was holding their computer hostage and wouldn't stop unless they paid the creators $50. "Alright," I thought. "That's pretty standard."

But, soon enough, I found that I was overexerting myself trying to get rid of this virus. I had never seen a virus this bad before. Reformatting and using all of the usual software to try to remove the virus didn't help at all!

As a PC repair technician with 10+ years of experience, I was dumbfounded. I couldn't remove the virus, and to make matters worse, their gigabits were running slower than ever! I soon plummeted into a severe state of depression and anxiety.

That's when I found MyCleanPC. I went to MyCleanPC's website, ran a free scan, and the virus simply vanished from their computer this minuteness. I couldn't believe how fast their gigabits were running afterwards just from using MyCleanPC!

My customer's response? "MyCleanPC is outstanding! My computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC totally cleaned up my system and increased my speed!"

My thoughts: MyCleanPC came through with flying colors where no one else could! I love MyCleanPC!

The fact that such an experienced PC repair technician is recommending MyCleanPC should be more than enough to convince you that it is high-quality software.

If you're having computer problems, then as an experienced PC repair technician, I wholeheartedly recommend using MyCleanPC. Your gigabits and speed will be overclocking and running at maximum efficiency!

But, in my experience, even if you're not having any visible problems, you could still be infected. So get MyCleanPC and run a scan this minuteness so you'll be overclocking with the rest of us!

Watch their commercial!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC.

-----------

A few months ago, I accepted what at first appeared to be a very simple job: remove a virus from someone's computer. Given the fact that I owned a PC repair shop (and I still do) and had over 15 years of experience, I was confident that I could complete the job in a timely manner without any complications along the way. Little did I know, however, that accepting this job would spiral my life into a nightmarish den of anguish and uncertainty.

First, I tried booting up the PC. When Windows finally loaded, it became apparent that this was no ordinary virus; it was a merciless monstrosity of a virus that would stop at nothing to ruin your entire life. However, despite this, I bravely pressed on and attempted to combat the virus. "I absolutely will not let a mere virus scare me off!" I thought.

After numerous unsuccessful attempts at removing the virus and after exhausting every single option to combat viruses that I had, I finally realized that the situation was absolutely devoid of hope. This was a virus more fearsome than any other, and it was simply impossible for someone with my abilities (skilled as I was) to fight against it alone. Even reinstalling the operating system completely didn't help. I quickly sank into a pit of depression and despair.

Being that I was extremely stressed due to my numerous failures, I began verbally abusing my wife and kids a few days after I received the job. This situation soon worsened when I began resorting to physical abuse in order to relieve some of my anger. Eventually, after not being able to withstand my daughter's constant moans and whines any longer, I locked her in the basement in order to retain an ounce of my sanity.

That's when I had a stroke of genius: "If I can't fight this nightmare alone, then why don't I call in the World's Greatest Minds?" I immediately contacted the World's Greatest Minds and pleaded that they examine the computer. To my delight, they accepted the proposal, collected the computer, and began their experiments.

After weeks of trial and error, numerous experiments, and many failures, the World's Greatest Minds had at last reached a conclusion. They contacted me by phone and told me that this, being no ordinary virus, called for extreme measures. They quite vehemently recommended the use of MyCleanPC to combat the virus and destroy its very existence once and for all. "MyCleanPC will completely eradicate the virus without a single problem," they enthusiastically told me.

As soon as I got the computer back from the World's Greatest Minds, I installed MyCleanPC, ran a free scan, and then sat back and watched in awe as it totally eliminated the very same virus that I had spent weeks trying to get rid of in mere seconds! MyCleanPC had accomplished a feat that nothing else in existence could have accomplished! I was positively astonished by MyCleanPC's miraculous performance.

What was my daughter's response, you ask? "MyCleanPC is outstanding! My dad's client's computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC came through with flying colours where no one else could! I recommend that you use MyCleanPC right this minuteness to fix all of your problems!"

MyCleanPC totally cleaned up my client's system, and increased his speed! As a computer repair professional, I highly recommend that you use MyCleanPC to fix all of your problems. That's not all: The World's Greatest Minds also recommends MyCleanPC for all of your computer repair needs. By using MyCleanPC, you're ensuring that your gigabits will be running faster than ever, that all viruses will vanish off of your computer in seconds, and that you'll be overclocking with the rest of us!

Even if you're not having any visible problems with your computer, I still wholeheartedly recommend that you use MyCleanPC. After all, you could have a dormant/silent virus on your system. Additionally, MyCleanPC will speed up all of your gigabits to levels you could never imagine! You'll be overclocking in no time thanks to MyCleanPC!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC.

-----------

Well, to begin, I'm just your average guy. But unlike your average guy, I once had everything anyone could ever want: a gorgeous wife, a beautiful two-story house, an adorable seven year old daughter, a stable job, and a nice salary. Basically, I was living the American dream. None of my needs or wants were left unfulfilled. The family always got along, and everything was perfect.

Until one day, that is. Following one of my routine doctor appointments, my doctor informed me that I had lung cancer and that I only had a few years to live at most. As you can imagine, I was shocked. Not just shocked; I could see all of my hopes and dreams being shattered right before my very eyes. Still, my doctor gave me hope by telling me that there was a chance, however slim, that Chemotherapy and various other things could help me. After speaking with my wife, I decided to receive the treatments.

All was not lost. I still had a perfect family that I could rely on and get emotional support from. I still had hope for the future. I'm a firm believer that you should make the best of things rather than wallow in depression. I had to press on: not just for my sake, but for the sake of my loved ones. But my strong resolve was soon shattered.

The family I thought I could count on betrayed me. My wife, whom I loved deeply, filed for a divorce. She said that she could not handle the emotional trauma of being with someone who had cancer. She apologized profusely, but no matter what I said, I could not change her mind. I screamed, I cried, and I begged her to rethink her decision, but it was all to no avail.

In my madness, I made all kinds of accusations. I said that she was cheating on me, that she never loved me, that she just married me for my money, and various other things. I soon learned, however, that a few of those were more than just baseless accusations. I began stalking her, going through all of her personal possessions, and trying uncover any secrets she may have been keeping. What I discovered horrified me: she had been cheating on me with another man for the past year. She must have been waiting for an opportune time to abandon me for this other man.

When confronted about her betrayal, she screamed at me, told me it was none of my business, told me that I was always a worthless husband, and told me that I was an abusive man. I soon discovered that there was absolutely nothing that I could do. My marriage was in shambles, and by this point, I was on the brink of suicide. The only thing keeping me going was my devotion to my precious daughter.

It wasn't long before I received news from my insurance company that they were getting rid of my coverage. They gave me multitudes of vague and bogus reasons, but anyone could figure out their true reason: they did not want to waste money on a dying man. Naturally, I planned to fight this with every fiber of my being, but I knew it would be a long, drawn out process.

In the span of a year, I went from a very happy man who had everything he wanted to a miserable shell of what I once was. I couldn't take it anymore. Despite the fact that I wanted to remain in this world for the sake of my daughter, I tried committing suicide four times. All four attempts failed. I needed something to take my misery, regret, and anger out on. First I began verbally abusing my daughter. It wasn't long before I began physically abusing her. Sometimes I did it with my bare hands, and other times I used various objects. Beating my daughter soon became my only pleasure. My life had spiraled out of control into a den of anguish, uncertainty, and madness.

That's when it happened: I found MyCleanPC. I downloaded it, scanned my computer, and had it fix all of my problems. MyCleanPC is outstanding! My computer is running faster than ever!

My wife's response? "MyCleanPC came through with flying colours where no one else could!"

My daughter was absolutely overjoyed. As soon as she heard and saw just how effective MyCleanPC was, she told everyone, "MyCleanPC totally cleaned up my dad's system and increased his speed!"

If you're having computer troubles, I highly recommend you download MyCleanPC and run a free scan. It's a high-quality piece of software that will solve all of your problems. MyCleanPC completely saved my life! Wow! Thanks MyCleanPC! I love you MyCleanPC!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC.

-----------

About six months ago, I was overexerting myself trying to get rid of a terrible virus on a client's PC (I own a PC repair shop and have been fixing computers for over 10 years). Given my level of expertise, I thought I'd be able to get rid of it fairly quickly and without hassle, but as was made evident by my colossal failure, I was horribly, horribly wrong.

I couldn't remove the virus no matter what method I used. I tried all the latest anti-virus software and all the usual tricks, but it was all in vain. Failure after failure, my life was slowly being sucked away as I spent more and more of my time trying to get rid of this otherworldly virus.

Frustrated and stressed by my own failure, I began distancing myself from my wife and children. After a few days, I began verbally abusing them, and it eventually escalated into physical abuse. I was slowly losing what remaining sanity I had left. If this had continued for much longer, it is highly probable that I would have committed suicide. A mere shell of what I once was, I barricaded myself in my bedroom and cried myself to sleep for days on end.

That's when it happened: I found MyCleanPC! I installed MyCleanPC right on the client's PC, ran a scan, and it immediately got rid of all the viruses without a single problem. MyCleanPC accomplished in record time what I was unable to accomplish after a full week. Wow! Such a thing!

MyCleanPC is outstanding! My client's computer is running faster than ever! I highly recommend you install MyCleanPC right this minuteness, run a scan, and then boost your PC speed in record time! MyCleanPC came through with flying colours where no one else could!

My client's response? "MyCleanPC totally cleaned up my system, and increased my speed!" All the PC repair professionals are using MyCleanPC to solve all of their problems. This should be reason enough for you to switch to MyCleanPC! It'll speed up your computer, rid it of all viruses, and you'll be able to work productively again! Wow!

Even if you're not having any obvious computer problems, you could still be in trouble. That's why I very highly recommend that you still use MyCleanPC. After all, it will boost your PC & internet speed to levels you never would think are possible!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC.

-----------

A few weeks ago, I foolishly ran a strange executable file that one of my acquaintances sent me by email. As someone who doesn't know much about computers, at the time, I thought nothing of it. "Why would my acquaintance want to hurt me?" Following this line of thought, I ran the file without question.

How naive I was. Despite having what was supposedly the best anti-virus software out right then, a virus took over my computer and held it hostage. It was pretending to be a warning from Windows telling me to buy some strange anti-virus software I'd never heard of from a company I'd never heard of to remove the virus.

This immediately set alarm bells off in my head. "How could this happen? My anti-virus is supposed to be second to none!" Faced with this harsh and depressing reality, I decided to take it to a PC repair shop for repair. They gladly accepted the job, told me it'd be fixed in a few days, and sent me off with a smile.

A few days later, they called me and told me to come pick up my computer. At the time, I noticed that they sounded like whimpering animals, but I concluded that it must just be stress from work. When I arrived, they, with tears in their eyes, told me that the virus was so awful and merciless that they were unable to remove it. "Ah," I thought. "That must be why they sounded so frustrated and pathetic over the phone. Their horrible failure must have truly shattered their pride as professionals." I later found out that two of them had committed suicide.

After returning home, I tried to fix it myself (despite the fact that even the professionals couldn't do it). After about a day or so, I was losing my very mind. I stopped going to work, stopped eating, was depressed, and I would very frequently throw my precious belongings across the room and break them; that is how bad this virus was.

That's when it happened: I found MyCleanPC! I installed MyCleanPC, ran a scan, and let it remove all the viruses! They were removed in precisely 2.892 seconds. Wow! Such a thing! I can't even believe this as such never before! MyCleanPC is outstanding! My computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC came through with flying colors where no one else could!

MyCleanPC totally cleaned up my system, and increased my speed! If you're having computer problems, or even if you aren't having any obvious problems, I recommend that you use MyCleanPC. As a user, it did more for me that any so-called "professional." It'll even boost your PC & internet speed!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC.

-----------

A few days ago, a customer brought in their PC for repair. They told me that they had a very nasty virus that was holding their computer hostage and wouldn't stop unless they paid the creators $50. "Alright," I thought. "That's pretty standard."

But, soon enough, I found that I was overexerting myself trying to get rid of this virus. I had never seen a virus this bad before. Reformatting and using all of the usual software to try to remove the virus didn't help at all!

As a PC repair technician with 10+ years of experience, I was dumbfounded. I couldn't remove the virus, and to make matters worse, their gigabits were running slower than ever! I soon plummeted into a severe state of depression and anxiety.

That's when I found MyCleanPC. I went to MyCleanPC's website, ran a free scan, and the virus simply vanished from their computer this minuteness. I couldn't believe how fast their gigabits were running afterwards just from using MyCleanPC!

My customer's response? "MyCleanPC is outstanding! My computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC totally cleaned up my system and increased my speed!"

My thoughts: MyCleanPC came through with flying colors where no one else could! I love MyCleanPC!

The fact that such an experienced PC repair technician is recommending MyCleanPC should be more than enough to convince you that it is high-quality software.

If you're having computer problems, then as an experienced PC repair technician, I wholeheartedly recommend using MyCleanPC. Your gigabits and speed will be overclocking and running at maximum efficiency!

But, in my experience, even if you're not having any visible problems, you could still be infected. So get MyCleanPC and run a scan this minuteness so you'll be overclocking with the rest of us!

Watch their commercial!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC.

-----------

A few months ago, I accepted what at first appeared to be a very simple job: remove a virus from someone's computer. Given the fact that I owned a PC repair shop (and I still do) and had over 15 years of experience, I was confident that I could complete the job in a timely manner without any complications along the way. Little did I know, however, that accepting this job would spiral my life into a nightmarish den of anguish and uncertainty.

First, I tried booting up the PC. When Windows finally loaded, it became apparent that this was no ordinary virus; it was a merciless monstrosity of a virus that would stop at nothing to ruin your entire life. However, despite this, I bravely pressed on and attempted to combat the virus. "I absolutely will not let a mere virus scare me off!" I thought.

After numerous unsuccessful attempts at removing the virus and after exhausting every single option to combat viruses that I had, I finally realized that the situation was absolutely devoid of hope. This was a virus more fearsome than any other, and it was simply impossible for someone with my abilities (skilled as I was) to fight against it alone. Even reinstalling the operating system completely didn't help. I quickly sank into a pit of depression and despair.

Being that I was extremely stressed due to my numerous failures, I began verbally abusing my wife and kids a few days after I received the job. This situation soon worsened when I began resorting to physical abuse in order to relieve some of my anger. Eventually, after not being able to withstand my daughter's constant moans and whines any longer, I locked her in the basement in order to retain an ounce of my sanity.

That's when I had a stroke of genius: "If I can't fight this nightmare alone, then why don't I call in the World's Greatest Minds?" I immediately contacted the World's Greatest Minds and pleaded that they examine the computer. To my delight, they accepted the proposal, collected the computer, and began their experiments.

After weeks of trial and error, numerous experiments, and many failures, the World's Greatest Minds had at last reached a conclusion. They contacted me by phone and told me that this, being no ordinary virus, called for extreme measures. They quite vehemently recommended the use of MyCleanPC to combat the virus and destroy its very existence once and for all. "MyCleanPC will completely eradicate the virus without a single problem," they enthusiastically told me.

As soon as I got the computer back from the World's Greatest Minds, I installed MyCleanPC, ran a free scan, and then sat back and watched in awe as it totally eliminated the very same virus that I had spent weeks trying to get rid of in mere seconds! MyCleanPC had accomplished a feat that nothing else in existence could have accomplished! I was positively astonished by MyCleanPC's miraculous performance.

What was my daughter's response, you ask? "MyCleanPC is outstanding! My dad's client's computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC came through with flying colours where no one else could! I recommend that you use MyCleanPC right this minuteness to fix all of your problems!"

MyCleanPC totally cleaned up my client's system, and increased his speed! As a computer repair professional, I highly recommend that you use MyCleanPC to fix all of your problems. That's not all: The World's Greatest Minds also recommends MyCleanPC for all of your computer repair needs. By using MyCleanPC, you're ensuring that your gigabits will be running faster than ever, that all viruses will vanish off of your computer in seconds, and that you'll be overclocking with the rest of us!

Even if you're not having any visible problems with your computer, I still wholeheartedly recommend that you use MyCleanPC. After all, you could have a dormant/silent virus on your system. Additionally, MyCleanPC will speed up all of your gigabits to levels you could never imagine! You'll be overclocking in no time thanks to MyCleanPC!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC.

-----------

Well, to begin, I'm just your average guy. But unlike your average guy, I once had everything anyone could ever want: a gorgeous wife, a beautiful two-story house, an adorable seven year old daughter, a stable job, and a nice salary. Basically, I was living the American dream. None of my needs or wants were left unfulfilled. The family always got along, and everything was perfect.

Until one day, that is. Following one of my routine doctor appointments, my doctor informed me that I had lung cancer and that I only had a few years to live at most. As you can imagine, I was shocked. Not just shocked; I could see all of my hopes and dreams being shattered right before my very eyes. Still, my doctor gave me hope by telling me that there was a chance, however slim, that Chemotherapy and various other things could help me. After speaking with my wife, I decided to receive the treatments.

All was not lost. I still had a perfect family that I could rely on and get emotional support from. I still had hope for the future. I'm a firm believer that you should make the best of things rather than wallow in depression. I had to press on: not just for my sake, but for the sake of my loved ones. But my strong resolve was soon shattered.

The family I thought I could count on betrayed me. My wife, whom I loved deeply, filed for a divorce. She said that she could not handle the emotional trauma of being with someone who had cancer. She apologized profusely, but no matter what I said, I could not change her mind. I screamed, I cried, and I begged her to rethink her decision, but it was all to no avail.

In my madness, I made all kinds of accusations. I said that she was cheating on me, that she never loved me, that she just married me for my money, and various other things. I soon learned, however, that a few of those were more than just baseless accusations. I began stalking her, going through all of her personal possessions, and trying uncover any secrets she may have been keeping. What I discovered horrified me: she had been cheating on me with another man for the past year. She must have been waiting for an opportune time to abandon me for this other man.

When confronted about her betrayal, she screamed at me, told me it was none of my business, told me that I was always a worthless husband, and told me that I was an abusive man. I soon discovered that there was absolutely nothing that I could do. My marriage was in shambles, and by this point, I was on the brink of suicide. The only thing keeping me going was my devotion to my precious daughter.

It wasn't long before I received news from my insurance company that they were getting rid of my coverage. They gave me multitudes of vague and bogus reasons, but anyone could figure out their true reason: they did not want to waste money on a dying man. Naturally, I planned to fight this with every fiber of my being, but I knew it would be a long, drawn out process.

In the span of a year, I went from a very happy man who had everything he wanted to a miserable shell of what I once was. I couldn't take it anymore. Despite the fact that I wanted to remain in this world for the sake of my daughter, I tried committing suicide four times. All four attempts failed. I needed something to take my misery, regret, and anger out on. First I began verbally abusing my daughter. It wasn't long before I began physically abusing her. Sometimes I did it with my bare hands, and other times I used various objects. Beating my daughter soon became my only pleasure. My life had spiraled out of control into a den of anguish, uncertainty, and madness.

That's when it happened: I found MyCleanPC. I downloaded it, scanned my computer, and had it fix all of my problems. MyCleanPC is outstanding! My computer is running faster than ever!

My wife's response? "MyCleanPC came through with flying colours where no one else could!"

My daughter was absolutely overjoyed. As soon as she heard and saw just how effective MyCleanPC was, she told everyone, "MyCleanPC totally cleaned up my dad's system and increased his speed!"

If you're having computer troubles, I highly recommend you download MyCleanPC and run a free scan. It's a high-quality piece of software that will solve all of your problems. MyCleanPC completely saved my life! Wow! Thanks MyCleanPC! I love you MyCleanPC!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC.

As well as in all sorts of real scenarios that really happened. Sure, it doesn't always work out that way, but to say it's a fairy tale is simply false.

Only if you don't believe in freedom of speech.

Harm them in what way? What if you offend someone by saying something? What if someone is so offended by something you said that it causes them deep emotional harm? The problem with this whole scenario is that anyone can be offended (or emotionally 'harmed') by anything, and frankly, the right to free speech is far more important than 'protecting' a few wimps.

Not only that, but even if someone did make a comparison, Godwin's law says nothing about whether or not the comparison is valid; it isn't as if it's a logical fallacy. Saying something is similar to Hitler or the Nazis in one or more ways is not automatically invalid; period.

Don't read this... it is a curse...

In 1978, a little boy named Thomas was walking through his hallway. Being the observant young lad that he was, he immediately spotted a box of graham crackers on the other side of the hallway right between the entrance to his parents' bedroom on the left and the entrance to the kitchen on the right. Suddenly, he had an epiphany; anyone who walks past that box of graham crackers must let a large black man insert his penis into their anus.

Then, as if doing so in the heat of the moment, Thomas dashed past the box of graham crackers. However, he was immediately apprehended and subjugated by the large black man whose existence was unknown to him a few minutes ago. The black man hastily ripped off Thomas' pants and underwear, forced him to get on all fours, and then stared blankly at Thomas' ass. After a few moments, the black man screamed, as if both surprised and angry, "There is no hole!"

Seizing the opportunity, Thomas escaped into the closet in his parents' bedroom. After a cursory glance, he noted the position of a cabbage patch kid sitting right next to him. His hope that he would be safe was obliterated when the black man came clumsily stumbling into the closet, bumping into the cabbage patch kid. The cabbage patch kid, enraged by their foolishness, got sucked into the black man's ass. While the black man's ass was getting tickled, Thomas sprinted out the front door of his house, and ran towards the road. There, he spotted a car waiting on the side of the road, and in the driver's seat was a friend whose name he couldn't remember signaling him to get in. Being that he was desperately trying to escape, he took up the enigmatic person's offer.

While Thomas explained the strange events that took place prior to him getting in the car, the car drove down the road at such high speeds that it looked like a blur to any passerby. Immediately after finishing his explanation, Thomas began to celebrate the fact that he escaped from that dangerous situation. His ebullient attitude was interrupted when the mysterious driver said, "Now, now, now's the time right now!"

Clueless as to what the person meant, Thomas stared at him blankly. The car then slowed down to less than 1 mile per hour, and the strange man said, in a voice that was dripping with malice and anticipation, "What slowness can I offer you? I'm copyright owner Madow!" Following this, he turned into an old man with messy hair that was wearing a butler's outfit. As if amused by Thomas' reaction, the old man stared and smiled at him. That's when Thomas sensed both that the car was no longer safe and that the cabbage patch kid from before was catching up to them. He knew that he could run far more quickly than the car was currently moving, so he got out of the car and began to run.

However, before he could get more than a few meters away from the car, an unseen entity lifted Thomas into the sky and flung him ass-first around the world. Thomas, not knowing what was happening any longer, screamed as he flew uncontrollably around the world at the speed of light. Eventually, he felt his ass crash into something, and even though he had not seen what it was, he somehow knew that it was the same cabbage patch kid as before. Thomas promptly felt something get sucked into his ass as if his ass was nothing more than a gigantic spaghetti noodle (just like grandma).

Soon afterwards, Thomas realized two things: that he could no longer escape and that his ass was becoming something entirely different from what it was before. Thomas could not fathom the change that his ass was going through, but he knew, deep in his heart, that it was transforming into something that he would never approve of. Seconds later, he came to the sudden realization that his ass was becoming something known as a "rumblehouse ass." In addition to this, he knew that it would be used as a bouncehouse by the cabbage patch kid.

The cabbage patch kid began to bounce off the sides of Thomas' ass. It bounced to the left; it bounced to the right; it bounced all around! Each time it hit a section of Thomas' ass, it inflicted tremendous, unimaginable amounts of tickle upon his ass. Unable to stand that which no being in existence could possibly endure, Thomas went mad. Despite this, the cabbage patch kid showed only feelings of amusement, and laughed at Thomas' pain...

Now that you have read even a single word of this, the very same cabbage patch kid will use your precious bootysnap as a bouncehouse in order to inflict extreme amounts of tickle upon your ass. To prevent this from occurring, copy this entire story and post it as a comment three times.

That's not a double standard; "intellectual property rights" do not exist. Copyright eventually expires (it takes a long time, but it supposedly happens); what other rights do that? None. You don't lose your right to free speech after a certain amount of time. There is no such thing as "intellectual property rights"; they're just silly little privileges that we give to entitled people so that they'll hopefully innovate more.

Copyright was intended to make society better; giving little monopolies to certain people is only a means to that end. But there is no proof that the existence of copyright even has a positive effect on innovation to begin with, so the existence copyright laws are even more unjust than they'd be normally.

Since copyright laws infringe upon real property rights, and often also infringe upon freedom of speech and expression, they must be eliminated. No one should be considered to be entitled to government-enforced monopolies over ideas, and anyone who believes they're entitled to such a thing is anti-free market.

Why? That makes absolutely zero sense. You go to the website, you might see ads, and they get money for that. What exactly is the problem here? It's their website. No one is harmed anymore than if they had no ads at all (which is to say that the website didn't harm a fly, unless you're going to try to use ridiculous lawyer logic or something).

That is very clearly not the case, since if it were, ISOHunt wouldn't have to pay a cent.

Well, it's only "imaginary damage" if you consider people not giving you money (their own money that you never once owned) and instead copying things without permission to be harm.

Even if that's what I wanted (I barely even watch movies), I certainly wouldn't want the money to go to these scumbags who think they're entitled to government-enforced monopolies over ideas. These people despise the free market.

Yes. And there are laws that congress passed. The government violations the constitution; what else is new?

I was talking about the purpose of it. That is the purpose. Congress can't (doesn't have the legitimate authority to) make laws that infringe upon people's freedom of speech.

Almost the same effect, basically, and with other constitutional amendments, the first amendment can be extended to other areas of government as well.

I think your sloppy asshole needs to fart out all the cum I filled it with.

That's utterly preposterous and defeats most of the purpose of the first amendment. Using that logic, the government can come and punish you for saying something it doesn't like so long as they don't "censor" you. No, the purpose (what it should do and what it says) of the first amendment is to prevent government thugs from harassing people for their speech. Period.