So, you're blending a reference to the sale of indulgences and the Protestant Reformation with a reference to Jesus' advice to the rich man who wanted to know how to get into heaven?
Quite a mix for one metaphor. I'm awed.
Thus they pay the camel through the needle's eye to stay out of hell.
"Your sentiments do you honor, but if you will allow me to say it, metaphor is not your best hold."
-- Mark Twain, "The McWilliamses and the Burglar Alarm", 1882
High five, bro! That's exactly what I do. I usually wander randomly around a store for 30 minutes or more before I pick up the thing I came for. Throws 'em off the scent.
"Always keep 'em guessing!" That's my motto.
The N9 would smash an iPhone the way the Hulk smashed Loki. Pick it up by its leg and fling into the floor, left, right, left, right, leaving iPhone-sized dents in the floor, then grunt "Puny phone" and lumber away.
Of course the iPhone, being a god, would get up, shake itself off, and go on about its business plaguing the earth.
But we know what plants crave. Brawndo. It's got electrolytes.'
'...Okay - what are electrolytes? Do you know?'
'Yeah. It's what they use to make Brawndo.'
'But why do they use them in Bawndo? What do they do?'
'They're part of what plants crave.'
'But why do plants crave them?'
'Because plants crave Brawndo, and Brawndo has electrolytes.'
What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the will to find out, which is the exact opposite. -- Bertrand Russell, "Skeptical Essays", 1928