As Governor of New York I will attack New Delhi and stop the poisoned flying monkey scourge. Who will join me in the fight for Freedom?

First I love Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2 and Army Of Darkness.
Second because of the above I have followed the career of Bruce Campbell even when it wasn't that good.

So when I heard about Evil Dead The Musical I was totally IN to see it.

It was fantastic. We sat in the "Splatter Zone" in the front row. We got doused in fake blood.

The play took place in the cabin from Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2 and referenced Bruce Campbell and Army Of Darkness heavily. Several changes were made to the orginal plot including adding the character of Cheryl Ash's kid sister. She replaces the old woman in the basement. Cheryl was played by Jenna Coker and she stole the show. The woman was clearly on some sort of amphetamine. Humans simply can't move that much without some sort of drug help. She was a ball of energy. It seemed like Cheryl was light years ahead of the rest of the cast and she really "got" the play.

The rest of the cast was a lot of fun to watch. The lead Ryan Ward seemed to fall in and out of the Ash character of the movie, sort of nailing Bruce Campbell's lines but sleepwalking through his own. The two lead women (Renee Klapmeyer (Annie / Shelly) & Jennifer Byrne (Linda)) shared three roles. They looked so much a like it was difficult to tell who was who.

The play was hysterical but being a fan of the series really helps. There were definitely inside jokes and replacements that you wouldn't "get" without being something of a super fan.

Another stand out was Darryl Winslow (Jake). He was genuinely likable and had a Helluva voice.

The only beef I had was that the characters seemed to be referencing some current Pop Culture.

Cheryl == Molly Shannon's Superstar
Scott == Stiffler
Jake == Meatloaf

It could be that these actors simply looked like those other actors but they seemed to be playing that up somewhat.

Me: So Danny what do you really want for Christmas?

Danny: I have a lot of stuff. I know some kids don't have as much stuff as me. I want you to give those kids stuff.

Me: You're grounded.

Danny: Then I want a Wii.

Teen Murderer Says Jail Is Too Hard

At 15 years old this kid decided to kill a homeless man with his friends. Despite his age he was over 200 pounds heavier than the man whose chest he jumped though. Now after 8 mos in jail he wants to go home.
Fuck you.

Edited because I can't read

`Zombie chickens' hatch debate over older chickens' fate

PETALUMA (AP) - In this rich agricultural region of Northern California, ranchers have been turning chickens too old to lay eggs into compost at a rate of a half-million hens a year.

But some chickens not properly euthanized have been seen crawling out of the compost piles, earning them the name ``zombie chickens'' -- and hatching a debate over what else might be done with them and other ``spent hens.''

I mean come on America! If we can't even kill chickens how can we possibly complete in the new Global Economy?

From here.

Discovered in pieces in a shipwreck by sponge divers off Greek island of Antikythera more than 100 years ago, the secrets of the ancient device have only now been unlocked by an international team of scientists.

The analysis confirmed the theory that the Antikythera Mechanism, which dates back to between 100 and 150BC, was an astronomical calculator - but also showed it was much more technologically advanced than previously thought.

"The design is beautiful, the astronomy is exactly right. The way the mechanics are designed just makes your jaw drop. Whoever built this was extremely intelligent. There was a great mind behind it. In terms of historic and scarcity value, I have to regard this mechanism as being more valuable than the Mona Lisa."

  It may also have been capable of tracing the movements of Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn - the only other planets known at a time when the Earth, rather then the Sun, was thought to be at the centre of the solar system.

While I expected my wife to be on board with the punching of the dog kicker I fully expected to be, "Oh you're one of those people"ed elsewhere.

As I often say, violence can solve any conflict... It's not just for saying anymore ;)

So... yeah. Everyone. Thanks. I spent the long weekend feeling like I'd done the wrong thing. It was all rather bang bang you know and there wasn't a lot of time to make a lot of choices. Plus the whole rage thing...

In any event while the situation is really rather revolting and the outcome just - it's just so completely wrong for the actual parties even the dog kicker... the "Atta boy"s and such...

Uh, it's nice.

Thanks.

Wow this sucks. So some of you may remember this. I sopke with the dog lady this morning and the beagle died over the holiday weekend from broken ribs and such.

I'm really fucking bummed about this. You can't believe the hurt in this woman's eyes.

As for getting sued I'm less worried about that. She's already pressed charges against him. He could do time.

OK I like the Airborne products. I heard about them years ago on Stern or something and I tried them and they work. They claim to have been invented by a Second Grade Teacher who was always catching colds from the little typhoid Marys and Jacks in their class.

So I see an advertisement for Airborne Night Time and I'm in. NyQuil is one of my favorite things. What? I like Eucalyptus? Mixing the two? Brilliant!

OK, Here we go:

1. Hot water 4-6oz, check.
2. 1 Airborne Night Time Tablet (Hot Apple Cider Flavor), check.
3. Drop tablet into cup...

Holy shit that's a lot of fizzing.

Lynda: Jesus Christ it's like jet going off. What the Hell is that smell? It smells like pinecones! Why don't you go outside and lick pinecones? You'll never be sick - pinecone licker!

Me: I have to keep my health! Oh God this tastes like muddy water and smells so bad. There's floaty. No no no! It's on my tongue! It hurts, it hurts! Oh God make it stop!

Lynda: Open your mouth I think it's fizzing I want to see.

Me: Mah lah bleah bleah pfft! Good God what have I put in my mouth?

***

So I can highly recommend this product. You should all go get some.

OK so some of you may de-friend me and all but here goes:

The day before Thanksmas I was on the train coming into Grand Central. There was a woman with a smallish Beagle dog. There was a man who in some fucked up fit of rage kicked the dog. Hard. Into the air, choke on it's own leash it went so high hard. The next thing I know the conductor and two men are pulling me off of the guy and I am yelling something like, "I'll fucking kill you for Christmas," at which point one of the men is saying he's not worth it and dragging me to the next car.

According to the dragger I hit the guy so many times so fast he was down long before I stopped punching him. Yay martial arts training. So anyway the dragger turned out to be an off duty Policeman (I only heard this today) and he told me to go left off of the train where'd I'd have normally gone right. I looked left and saw the NYPD arresting the dog kicker.

Fast forward to Sunday. I am in A&P buying some Taco parts and I see the guy I was hitting, except he's WAY more fucked up than I could have possibly made him - right?

Turns out he got uppity with the NYPD and they gave him an attitude adjustment. Now I suspect I'm going to see angry guy on the train again... I saw everyone else today and they filled me in on what a psycho he always is and Thank God someone Finally Cracked His Skull. So yeah, my hand hurt all day Wednesday...

So that was my brush with the law.

How was your Thanksmas and what are you doing for Palmster?

Danny: I want a hot fudge sundae
Us: No.
Danny: You people are dead inside.

BTLZU2 is right!

The time has come for all who stand behind Santa to destroy those that do not follow his ways! No more shall we allow Santa to be unbelieved. BTLZU2 is right to call for the death of all those that do not believe!

Join us in the slaughter of the non-believers! The corridors of malls will flow with the blood of non-believers.

SANTA AKBAR!!!!!!

Sirius will play Arlo Guthrie's Alice's Restaurant continuously on channel 16 tomorrow.

I suspect you can go to Sirius.com and listen to it for free if you don't subscribe.

Banana Bread Oatmeal is the new Maple & Brown Sugar Oatmeal.

Also I have 750 Q-Tips in my desk drawer.