But seriously...
We just wrote an enterprise, line of business application in Perl using Catalyst, Moose, DBIx, Template Toolkit, etc.
After that experience this 44 year old programmer says "You can pry Perl from my cold dead fingers".
In just over a year, my small team of two accomplished what takes competitors 2+ years with actual staff of 5+.
Additionally I am not even sure we could have met the performance requirements with .Net or Java.
Writing large apps in Modern Perl has been frigging wonderful, people. I like going to work again.
That is why Perl isn't "dead".
I am looking forward to Perl6, because I am all about leaving on time. Every day.
Which Perl enabled me to do now.
Congrats Rakudo Star team!