It doesn't sound to me like the grandparent was an antivaxxer. The rather unkind things they said about Jenny McCarthy should stand as a pretty strong argument that he (she?) isn't.
But it's true: vaccines are not perfect. They give a big boost, and they can help a lot of people, but the fact is that some of their effectiveness really does depend on having very high participation: herd immunity helps the immunized almost as much as it helps the un-immunized. Which only makes it more of a travesty that the antivaxxers are pulling this BS. It's not just that they're screwing their own kids out of immunity, though that would be bad enough on its own. But they're even managing to reduce the protection that the properly-immunized have. One could draw parallels to secondhand smoke.
There's also the fact that some people actually have a legitimate need to be leaning on herd immunity. For example, I've got all my shots except one. I reacted very badly to my first dose of whooping cough vaccine (which needs three doses), so the docs tried a half-dose for my second but I reacted just as badly, so they stopped it entirely. I'm vaccinated against everything else; they even found separate vaccines for measles and mumps (which are usually done alongside whooping cough in a combined vaccine called MMR) and gave me those, and I got through those just fine. But I've got that one hole in my immunity, and I had to get all kinds of waivers for exceptions and stuff going through school because of it. But I'm glad that the waiver system is there, and that I needed to go through it.
I keep up on the rest of my shots, partly out of a sense of duty: I must depend on the herd for protection from one disease, so it's even more important that I contribute back to the herd's immunity from every other disease. I've got no quarrel with those who actually react badly to a given vaccine (being one myself), and I don't even mind the relatively few people who avoid vaccines for religious reasons (though I'm not one of them). But the McCarthyite antivaxxer is another matter entirely: honestly, I'm starting to think that they should be classified as a public menace.
So yes, dear antivaxxers: stop spoiling herd immunity. Some of us need that. No love, me.