It amazes me that so many allegedly "educated" people have fallen so
quickly and so hard for a fraudulent fabrication of such laughable
proportions. The very idea that a gigantic ball of rock happens to
orbit our planet, showing itself in neat, four-week cycles -- with the
same side facing us all the time -- is ludicrous. Furthermore, it is
an insult to common sense and a damnable affront to intellectual
honesty and integrity. That people actually believe it is evidence
that the liberals have wrested the last vestiges of control of our
public school system from decent, God-fearing Americans (as if any
further evidence was needed! Daddy's Roommate? God Almighty!)
Documentaries such as Enemy of the State have accurately portrayed the
elaborate, byzantine network of surveillance satellites that the
liberals have sent into space to spy on law-abiding Americans.
Equipped with technology developed by Handgun Control, Inc., these
satellites have the ability to detect firearms from hundreds of
kilometers up. That's right, neighbors .. the next time you're out in
the backyard exercising your Second Amendment rights, the liberals
will see it! These satellites are sensitive enough to tell the
difference between a Colt .45 and a .38 Special! And when they detect
you with a firearm, their computers cross-reference the address to
figure out your name, and then an enormous database housed at Berkeley
is updated with information about you.
Of course, this all works fine during the day, but what about at
night? Even the liberals can't control the rotation of the Earth to
prevent nightfall from setting in (only Joshua was able to ask for
that particular favor!) That's where the "moon" comes in. Powered by
nuclear reactors, the "moon" is nothing more than an enormous balloon,
emitting trillions of candlepower of gun-revealing light. Piloted by
key members of the liberal community, the "moon" is strategically
moved across the country, pointing out those who dare to make use of
their God-given rights at night!
Yes, I know this probably sounds paranoid and preposterous, but
consider this. Despite what the revisionist historians tell you, there
is no mention of the "moon" anywhere in literature or historical
documents -- anywhere -- before 1950. That is when it was initially
launched. When President Josef Kennedy, at the State of the Union
address, proclaimed "We choose to go to the moon", he may as well have
said "We choose to go to the weather balloon." The subsequent faking
of a "moon" landing on national TV was the first step in a long
history of the erosion of our constitutional rights by leftists in
this country. No longer can we hide from our government when the sun
goes down.