Comment Re: Good (Score 2) 148
The thing is, we're wired to want 'tribes' of community. It's been a few years since I've read studies on it, but at one time I remember the ideal concept of 'tribe' or 'family' if you want, was somewhere between thirty and one hundred people that interact daily, as friends, as a cooperative unit. That does not mean all one hundred must agree on every single topic, just that at that point you can know each other well enough that when disagreements occur, even if there is an initial fight, you can eventually overcome that fight and come back together to reach an agreement. Much beyond that and individuals stop seeming to be 'people' to us and just become 'others' which have no value to our own collective, our own person, and therefore must be rejected outright to protect our collective or ourselves.
This is something I've been fascinated by since I was exposed to it - if you look up "Dunbar's Number" or its more colloquial name, the "Monkeysphere", it talks about exactly this, that there is an upper limit to the number of individuals a single person can have meaningful relationships with.
The number varies but the average appears to be around 150.
After that, people cease being people but are more like caricatures, like the people that make the garbage go away. We know they're there, they come to our homes frequently, but we know nothing about them and they have no impact on our daily lives. It doesn't make us hate them necessarily, but we don't know them to trust them.
I am not a sociologist in any way, but I have a feeling that religion was a way to expand this number to build bigger civilizations. It was a shortcut of 'I don't need to have a relationship with you, I just have to know you believe in the same general nexus of ideas that informs my identity, so I can trust you without knowing you.'
Related to the rest, one of my frequent observations is "Americans have largely forgotten how to disagree without being disagreeable".
Though there are a lot of pressures to continue fomenting discontent. Anger is an emotion that spreads much faster and broader than most other emotional information (CGP Grey has a very informative video video about this called 'This Video Will Make You Angry' and it's well-worth watching).
Anyone what wants to obtain or preserve a position of power finds that the levers of Fear and Anger are very potent and effective levers to pull.
To defuse that we need to be more cynical about the information we acquire and ingest (better bullshit detectors, to put it more colorfully), but that opposes the various forces that do not want us to question their authority or power, or don't want us to fight the impulse to buy today's New And Improved Widget.
Anyway! Those groups willing to discuss opposing ideas without being trolls about it can be found, I'm in a few of them, but they are needles in a haystack. And it only takes one individual that can mute the whole conversation when a topic comes up that sets them off. It can be challenging to accept that questioning an idea is not (necessarily) the same as attacking the person(s) that have the idea - especially when it's my ideas being questioned!
I realized I was still young that my opinions and beliefs are subject to change without notice, and that was a useful perspective for me to internalize, though I still get defensive in some situations despite knowing all of that and I have to tamp that down when it happens.
Finishing with another favorite quote of mine that I wish more people followed:
"The trick is to keep your identity separate from your opinions. They are objects in a box you carry with you, and should be easily replaceable if it turns out they're no good. If you think the opinions in the box are who you are, then you'll cling to them despite any evidence to the contrary. Bottom line: If you want to always be right, you must always be prepared to change your mind." --CGP Grey