so I have a beer or two and am just over the limit where the car won't start anymore, but then suddenly space aliens with anal probes arrive

And one tells the other, "Lookit Bubba, 'dis one's drunk already. Let's get him."

As for your other two examples, your car can fail at any time. I don't know about the reliability of the proposed devices, but I'm not sure people blame auto makers when the car needs to be started and it won't for some reason (dead battery, whatever).

It doesn't have to be restricted to the US. If other nations start applying it and getting visible, palpable results, it'll get adopted by others (even the US) faster.

It won't be as bad as when sharks and crocs start mating. Can you imagine the horror when you get out of the water at a shark warning, only to find out that it's a crocoshark/shroc/whatever and it'll chase you inland?!

I don't know enough about stock exchange (well, essentially nothing actually), so please correct me if I'm wrong. But people would be finding a way around "inversely proportional tax". For example, a company buys stocks and holds on to them indefinitely, and the clients to that company would just negociate with the company itself who would be holding onto the stocks, with the frequency of their choosing. I've not thought this through, but RIGHT NOW (I admit I might be wrong) it seems that this way you eliminate that taxation factor.

I notice the post was labelled as "Funny", but really -- I can't imagine how much fun you have with company names such as "Google" or (even worse) "MICRO SOFT" (I suppose you'd choose to do business instead with a company called "MAJOR HARD").

The next challenge is to use this technique to cheat on exams.

'I don't want to write this book, but I have to,' he said.

Sounds like Mr. Assange is back to school -- this time he has to write an essay on his own life.

...a Beowulf cluster of these...

Google Pizza? Google Beer? Google Babes? Google Porn? Google Space Station? ...

Simply stop selling and sending food to New York. When people begin starving, the most resourceful will look for food in trash. When they meet competition from the pesky critters, they'll kill them and even feed on them. Finally, when the possum problem is controlled, they can send food back into New York. Next, they can finally start thinking about how to deal with the rat problem appropriately!

I suppose that each Child will also receive One Laptop assigned for her/his school duties?

These are the kind of people who could get choked on a cordless phone, if you know what I mean.

That all seems fine, but that sciency stuff really hurts people's brain and they'll have nothing to do with that ghastly business of evidence. We've also discussed this recently: http://news.slashdot.org/story/10/05/28/1740208/The-Scientific-Impotence-Excuse

For us non-USA folk, could you Americans give us geographical guidance when referring to US states,

Why would they want to do that? Slashdot is hosted there, as so as the host of TFA. For what reason would they want to describe New England (or another state) in detail for non-USA folks? It makes as much sense as describing Portugal that way in Portuguese-held media.

Portugal exported some uranium ore to Iran during the early 1980s, ammounting to close to 300 tons. However, its mines have been abandoned since late 1980s to early 1990s. From http://www.iraqwatch.org/un/IAEA/s-1997-779-att-1.htm :

Iraq procures "yellowcake" uranium from Portugal, Niger, and Brazil.

However, its mine have been abandoned since late 1980s to early 1990s, mainly because of economic viability and not as much as from puny environmentalist concerns as claimed: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uranium_mining#Portugal