"Lieutenant Maris reporting as ordered, sir."
"Thanks, Maris, sit down. Coffee? Cigar?" Colonel Gorn offered.
"Cigar, sir?" Maris said, puzzled. Gorn laughed.
"Private O'Brien gave it to me. His wife's pregnant, been giving cigars away to everybody. I'm happy for the young man, but I don't have any use for a cigar."
To thine own self be true. (If not that, at least make some money.)