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Comment not going to work. (Score 1) 94

because customers see the digital assistant on the phone as a component of the larger product/ecosystem and associate it closely to the brand, its hard to imagine users changing it. not to mention the fact that Microsofts offering is arriving 3 years too late after digital assistants have already been established on both android and iphone platforms for at least five years now.

siri is apple, ok google is google, and cortana is the bitch that haunts Windows 10.

Comment Try to at least remain consistent, america (Score 1) 272

Russian President Vladimir Putin should consider returning Snowden to the United States as "the perfect inauguration gift" to President-elect Donald Trump

Either Russia systemically hacked the democratic election process of the united states in a secret plot to elect donald trump to the whitehouse as president of the united states, and therefore must be economically and politically sanctioned for doing so

or Russia is a transparent and beneficial partner of the united states, and diplomatically should concede to gifting its democratically elected leaders during their inauguration.

Comment a brief timeline for this innovation (Score 5, Funny) 68

2009: Amazon releases kindle and an entire bookstore.
2010: Google digitizes and operates the largest e-book store on the planet.
2017: Microsoft gets excited about this new e-book technology its been hearing so much about and immediately declares it will offer a bookstore that only works with Microsoft products.

Comment what the fuck is Raisier? (Score 1) 119

Its a subsidiary that provides some amorphous driver/rider insurance plan from a subcontractor called James River insurance company that they go out of the way to confirm has "an A- rating" from A. M. Best. that rating is their credit rating, not an indicator of their overall business performance or likeability. It showed up in 2014, and only appears available or relevant in the city of San Francisco where there ostensibly exists a regulation of some sort to mandate the existence of insurance for "ride sharing" providers.

why the insurance brokering subcontractor of a rideshare goup is filing a lawsuit against a municipality is pretty interesting, but if i were a gambling man I would guess its important for a subsidiary to file this lawsuit instead of Uber so as to help strictly maintain the illusion that Uber somehow is not an employer. That having been said, if Uber isnt an employer, and neither is the subsidiary, its very difficult to see a way this lawsuit will succeed. What it can do --through proxying cash from Uber-- is become a very protracted and expensive reminder why government should step the fuck off.

Comment such a wonder to mankind (Score 3, Insightful) 158

Yep. So far AI has gotten us a talking plastic tube, a talking cellphone, a talking version of windows, and a rack of POWER cpu's that can regurgitate jeopardy questions. Oh, and sometimes it poses for 'deep learning' autoplay ads about a virtual doctor that can cure cancer and the common cold.

Comment other applicable links to profanity. (Score 4, Funny) 281

in computer science the application of expletives has also been scientifically correlated. For example:
Ruby Programming: profanity causes Ruby to slowly reveal itself as nothing more than an elaborate and desparate cry for help. It is in fact not a programming language at all.
Git: A bell curve of profanity and blasphemy can pinpoint the exact number of phrases required to successfully identify the team member who broke the build.
iptables: cannot be run without profanity and is in fact compiled into the code itself
Email: while its long been understood that profanity is a critical component of all email infrastructure, it may be curious to know that science has found Exchange servers in particular often default to routing mail based on the deafening curses against god almighty uttered by the admin.

Comment I can see it now (Score 1) 85

Mother: "young man just what do you think youre doing with that GNU operating system??"
Son: thinking different.
Mother: "oh i see and i suppose that richard stallman put you up to it did he? well id like to hear what youre going to call this GNU/Linux when your father gets home!"
Son: braveness mom, GNU Linux is just like the new macbook!
mother: "oh? and how is that?"
son: escape.

Comment and i say balderdash! (Score 5, Funny) 127

the tech community is a responsible party in the fostering of AI. why, just look at Ruby! we took a perfectly mediocre language and turned it into the cornerstone of everything from configuration management that doesnt scale properly, to code camps that inspire suicide pacts! And virtualization? we circle-jerked that right into orbit with the cloud. I mean sure its still KVM but youll pay 3 times as much for it because michio kaku once said it. Then we took containers and elevated them to the status of a national religion. im pretty sure there are people in the community that pray to a cgroup.

so yah, when it comes to AI we're going to take a talking plastic tube with a microphone and a cheap malaysian speaker and make it into something that is not only sentient and self aware, but that will guide humanity which has up to now been a collection of chain smoking bargain shoppers and shills into a new gilded age. Because if IBM can turn a rack of POWER CPU's into a jeopardy regurgitating cancer curing medical team as a service, you bet your ass people like Satya are going to be just as quick to throw caution to the wind and start treating Cortana like the literal incarnation of jesus christ.

Comment sounds awesome but means nothing. (Score 1, Interesting) 189

this functionality exists for multinationals governed by micromanagement and committee. companies that view changing their break room coffee with the same bureaucratic mentality as changing the mission statement. The ability to run Linux natively in Windows is the compromise insecure managers want to drive their "microsoft only" environment that crosses its T's and dots its I's of formal standards and compliance regulatory navel gazing. While it sounds wildly pointless to the average slashdotter, this "containerized" linux is exactly what the doctor ordered for companies that cant decide whether they want to enable emoji support in the office chat program without four or five rounds of meetings and an agenda signed by a director.

the only comfort you can take if your company does indeed decide to do this, is that while trading in your redhat licenses for whatever under-the-table credits Redmond is going to grease you with you can rest assured that thanks to high leadership turnover at your boat-without-a-sail megacompany youll eventually through the laws of statistical probability be gifted a manager that find Microsoft Linux on Windows to be just as insane as it sounds. the downside is that youll have to spend another year undoing this debacle.

Comment correction from the article. (Score 4, Funny) 49

The robots became part of the company's workforce when Amazon acquired Kiva Systems in 2012 for $775m.

the specifications for the robots are not correct at all. these machines weigh slightly more than 340 kilograms, can travel at up to 60 miles per hour, do not feel hunger, sorrow, or pain, and are all equipped with a phased plasma rifle typically in the 40 watt range.

A regular human worker employee.

Comment since when has it been a business decision (Score 5, Insightful) 293

It made no sense from a business standpoint to continue to develop these emails as both HTML [and] text, but it made significant strategic sense.

the fact that this rose to the level of a marketing decision shows that as far back as Chuq's tenure, Apple has been on a steady decline. As an email admin, let me spell this out for you. You supply email in text and HTML format because people who do real and meaningful work on desktops and laptops want to see the text, not HTML. these are the same people who still use real F keys, a real escape key, and consider removing the headphones from a cellphone a form of jackassery, not bravery.

Comment Re:palpable irony. (Score 1) 404

I agree, but see the Blame America tour as an attempt to stave off buyers remorse. you cannot make great again that which has been performing arguably well to date...and so there seems to be this tacit communal agreement that its best to find some fault -- any fault -- or tread the perilous route of having to defend legitimate economic, domestic, and foreign policy decisions that may be against the interest of many constituents.

Comment what a time to be alive. (Score 1) 84

we havent cured aids, we cant make progress on climate change, we cant make a dent in mass incarceration and 50 years after the civil rights amendment racism still unaccountably exists in society amidst wealth inequality not seen since the dawn of the 20th century...but at least the toilet paper has an IP address now and the milk has a floating bullet decal reminding me the kids have drank it all.

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