When I played counterstrike, we ran a server, so I felt cool playing there. I've moved to the more general xbox games in the last five years or so, and you can't really enforce behaving like a human being on there. Every once in a while I'll play with my friends, but I think it's just weird to only feel comfortable if I'm playing with friends because I know they won't start making homophobic, racist, or sexist (especially rape orientated) comments. For me, it's just not worth it much. I spend more time on minecraft anyways these days, and being able to control a server allows for more nice behavior, but I then again minecrafters don't seem to have that cultural bent anyways. I'm better off.
I honestly wouldn't mind if it was just more evened out, genderwise with both genders all sexed up. Hell, if I could just play a female character that looked older than 18, and wore real clothes every once in a while, I'd consider it a win. That is more of an age misperception, though, where game designers think all of us gamers are teens. You'd think they would want to focus on us old coots. We have money to burn on games.