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Journal Journal: Transformes Party - More than meets the eye. 1

So, later this year I'm having a birthday due to a new age that ends in a zero. This seems to be a popular time for sorrow and wallowing, but I see it as a chance to have fun for a change. Having recently been through my own wedding and being a part-time wedding photographer, I'm tired of attending other people's parties.

So, this year I have asked for a Transformers party. Now, everyone to be invited will be of an adult age, but we're all still kids at heart.

The reason I am posting this is for quirky party suggestions.

Like, pin the $item on the $creature. Instead of pin the tail on the donkey, should we pin the AllSpark on the Optimus Prime? If were inviting less guys and more girls, it might be fun to play "put some clothes onto that girl from the movie" game. Pfft, like girls would willingly come to a Transformers party in the first place.

What about Transformers-themed adult beverages? Can you think of some good drinks (please include at least a basic outline of the ingredients) with a great Transformers name? Like, I'm thinking something with lemonade and calling it a Bumblebee. Should we mix the Everclear into something and make it a Megatron?


I'm asking for all of the Transformers party things like plates and napkins and of course the cake, but can you think of any other items that will be needed to make the party a success?

I'm aware links such as these already:

And this set available at target, seems like a perfect place for us to start from, but none of these really tell you how to have a party other than to just buy some stuff and let the party happen. Thus, I'm seeking out the nerdiest bunch I know: slashdot.

Suggestions don't have to be limited to the recent theatrical live-action Transformers, the first generation is great, too.

You've got the touch! Now, make the suggestions.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Modern Day Cold WAR

The current state of things is nothing more than a modern day cold war. the only diffrence is that people are no longer communist, but terrorist. There is still a fear of nukes, and every one will rat out more people to get their name off the list. more to follow once i find time to get more hard facts.

Journal Journal: PS3 vs Wii 7

Here's a (no nudity, but not everyone is wearing a parka if you know what I mean) clip explaining how the two differ and how that may align with your interests.

Personally, I wish there was a video game console that could be summed up with this pic but what do I know.

(PS if anyone knows that model's name, and/or if she is for sure the model appearing in the Sigma SD14 DSLR print ads [the ones in the photo magazines] let me know).


Journal Journal: Gummy Fast Food 1

First off, my cat thinks he is Einstein. Or maybe Willie Nelson, I'm not sure.

Now, to share some other photos. We were out today to pickup this big poster that I had custom framed and we spotted this bag of really odd gummy candies in the Halloween Candy section at the local Target.

You have to check them out, they are all gummy candies made up of multiple colored gummies in intricate shapes and nifty colors so that in combination they make fast food items.

It's sort of like that PlayDoh set or other "fool food" things I used to play with many years ago - only these really are edible... barely.

User Journal

Journal Journal: schadenfreude hypocrite 7

I work with a bunch of interesting people who are by in large of a similar mindset and share similar views. They also lead mostly sheltered lives. I am disjoint from this type of thinking and living, but whatever, as long as the work gets done.

Well, they delight in having an educational "word of the day" on their white board. Sometimes a real word, sometimes a silly word, sometimes a word that they made up to fit a certain circumstance.

One day they couldn't think of a word to use, so I put "schadenfreude" up on the board, but no one knew what it was. To me, that makes it a perfect word of the day.

Well, I couldn't be more wrong, since the word means taking delight at the pain of another; this did not sit well with this group. All found it deplorable and it was quickly erased.

Well, the other day they were all giggling about this one story. It seems the one person remembered this story that was apparently told by a previous co-worker who spouse was either an ER doctor or an ER nurse. The group seemed to be sharing the story with others in an attempt to find who originally told the story, and also to share the hilarity with others.

The story involved someone with a cue ball (or some other billiards ball perhaps) up their rectum, and at least one other person with a bar of soap in their vaginal cavity. One person suggested that this was a good reason for soap-on-a-rope.

No one was sure who told the story originally, but everyone seemed to agree that it was HILARIOUS.

Because of this, my second ever suggestion for the word of the day was "hypocrite." This concept fell mostly on deaf ears, but it seemed to get a few people to look at themselves and the situation and blush.

But, that word only describes them. I think we need a new word to describe taking delight in the misery of someone realizing they are a hypocrite due to their own schadenfreude.



User Journal

Journal Journal: Introduction to Me

So I suppose it is only fitting that I take my first entry of my journal and completely waste it on introducing myself.

My name is Matt and I am (for lack of a better word) a geek. I have a wife and two kids (a girl and a boy). I started my career in the Air Force as a 3c0x1 (which in the real world translates into the guy who fixes the computer). So anyways I worked my way up the technological ladder pretty quickly and before I knew it I was the go-to person in my shop. I maintained many servers and a couple of SANs. While in the Air Force I was stationed at Fairchild AFB, WA, Kunsan AB, ROK, and Beale AFB, CA.

Fairchild was my first base and I ended up kicking boxes in a warehouse, the only difference between me and every other box kicker is my boxes held computer equipment. Eventually my job evolved first into imaging all of the machines, and then into testing new implementations in a new environment. This is when I got a little high on my horse and was bucked off by a little bit of legal trouble. Basically when you boil it down, I got in trouble for under-aged drinking. I am not going to sit here and argue that I was defending my country why can't I have a beer, blah, blah. Bottom line is I broke the law and I got in trouble for it. In hindsight it is probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me in my life, remember I am still just a glorified box-kicker. During this whole ordeal my supervisor and I had a falling out (he did not think my punishment was harsh enough) and I went to my First Sergeant to let him know that I would be willing to do any job as long as I did not have to work with my supervisor. I was immediately transferred to the Network Administration shop where I quickly picked up on my job and proved myself as more than just a box kicker. I met and married my wife at Fairchild, then one day we found out that she was pregnant. We were terrified and excited. 3 days later I received orders to Korea... Alone.

Kunsan AB is basically in the middle of nowhere in the middle of Korea. I quickly learned that Korea is a very different world than I was used to. They have mandatory military service which consists of Army, Coast Guard, Air Force, and Police Forces. This mandatory service had a few direct effects that I noticed, they had a very high suicide rates, because of this they were not given real ammo, just blanks. They also had police seemingly on every corner. They also had open sewers called binju ditches. I mostly stuck to base since it was a lengthy cab ride to just about anywhere and because I missed my wife and kids and did not enjoy the temptation of 'juicy girls' in the bars. This is not to say that there was no temptation on-base or that I did not drink the entire time I was there. I drank well over my fair share while there. It was pretty funny though to watch how people change when you take them away from their families. If two people were married and in the military they had the option of both going to Korea, however they would have to go to separate bases about three hours apart. Which meant you could see each other pretty much every weekend. These people were the most likely to cheat and/or divorce. Eventually the drinking paid off and I went home to my Wife and kids after a very difficult year.

Now that I was back from Korea I had the long and arduous task of getting to know my wife and kids again, you would be suprised how much people change in 1 year. Beale was a really easy base for me. I started up a side business where I would repair computers for people on base for a very small fee. The majority of customers where wives who had a virus and their husbands were deployed in Iraq and unable to fix it. The most memorable job I remember I was a woman whose husband had been gone for 3 months and shortly before he left they bought her a new computer (so she would not have any problems) she was not updating her virus definitions and got a virus which made her machine very difficult to use. I was able to clean her machine in about 6 minutes, and as I told her that I was all done and she can check it out to see if it is back to normal, she immediately burst into tears. Through the tears she then told me that she would have thrown the computer away had she not saw my ad that day, and it was not even paid for. I showed her how to prevent it in the future (as best as you can when you are dealing with a sobbing woman). She later sent me a card to let me know that she has been able to talk to her husband over AIM and is doing much better. I received a job offer to work on-site at the FBI Field Office in Seattle, WA. I quickly jumped at the opportunity. Luckily force-shaping (a program the Air Force implemented to allow people to apply to separate early) had been implemented, so I was feasible for me to leave. So after 5 years I drove a rental truck with all of my family's belongings to Seattle.

The FBI turned out to be a little bit of a disappointment, and I quickly grew tired of the bureacracy that goes with a federal agency, and began looking at other opportunities. I had alot of interest but only in stuff that I did not want to do (low-level Windows stuff) or positions that did not meet my salary requirements. I pressed on with a job that I did not like and eventually an opportunity presented itself in, of all places, at a Girl Scout Meeting. My wife was a girl scout leader and my daughter was a girl scout. Because of this I became the one who carries the Girl Scout stuff. One day my wife told me that one of the other Mom's mentioned that her company was having a hard time finding someone who was qualified for a position that they were hiring. I applied, interviewed, and was hired shortly thereafter. That is how I came into my current position.

This is basically the cliffnotes on my fairly recent life. I may expound upon them in later entries or perhaps just use them as my soapbox.

Journal Journal: [warning: adult content] an odd question about sex 12

Okay, hopefully there's a sex-ed teacher out there, I have a bizarre sex question.

Hypothetically speaking you're a guy and you are naked and have an erection. You are with goatse-guy and he is "spread." You two play a game sort of like the classic Operation. You insert your device but do not touch the walls or the end. You remove your device.

Now, did you just have sex with goatse-guy?

You had your wang inside of him, you could probably even feel some heat radiate off of his body, but there was no touching.

Now, what about if you did the same trick with one of those girls that can put champagne bottles into her parts? You know, the ones that do traffic cones for exhibition. Did you have sex with her? You had your schlong well inside of her, and it wasn't even her mouth so Clinton debates cannot enter here.

Sorry about this one, I was just pondering the old game Operation and one thing lead to another... Hey, you know, I wonder what would light up on goatse-guy if you did touch one of the sides!


Journal Journal: Why I lick people. 8

Some of you are familiar with all of the photos of me going around licking people. One was even famously in that fark photoshop contest.

Well, I think I've finally figured out why.

The voices in my head are dyslexic.

It has taken me some time to figure that out as they were so annoying with that stutter and the slight lisp, but I'm sure of it now.


Journal Journal: Bye: Joanna Gleason in DRS on Broadway 2

Today is Joanna Gleason's last day in her currently Broadway hit Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

I know I haven't been pestering you guys much about her since I'm sure most of you don't have a clue about who she is, or care, but it's kind of big news today and I made (with the help of a good friend) a really neat photo collage to say, "Bye!"

Check it out:


Journal Journal: The military dictatorship everyone loves

Somebody made a snarky comment along the lines of how eevil bushitler would ban Star Trek transporters because they are too dangerous. I posted the following response:

This is why the Federation, by the time of Picard, has devolved into a totalitarian military dictatorship. The only apparent choices, when confronted with the discovery of technology as dangerous as matter transportation and mass-energy conversion, it seemed the only logical choice. Replicators, warp drives, and transporters could easily give every single person a comfortable lifestyle, but were so incredibly dangerous that they could never be allowed to fall into untrusted hands. So, Starfleet (and later, the Federation) established itself as the only entity allowed to possess such dangerous technology, strictly and ruthlessly enforced, but in return, provided every person on the planet with all their material needs.

This, of course, resulted in the elimination of free markets, because the only thing that could not be easily replicated was land. For a brief time, it was worried that, having nothing of value with which to negotiate the buying and selling of land, violence would break out between those that owned land and those which did not, and now could not because even human labor was now of minimal value. As a solution, Starfleet confiscated all privately owned land. Thereafter, land was apportioned to individuals on the basis of their contributions to Starfleet. This is one reason why, despite being a very hazardous occupation, it was so hard to get into the academy - becoming a member of starfleet was one of the only ways to gain significant amounts of landed property, though of course scientists and other professionals who rendered their services to Starfleet as civilians, while they could not be paid with any material goods (material goods having lost all value), were paid with land as well.

The major exception was for human colonists. In order to promote human expansion, increase the amount of available Earth land available for Starfleet apportionment, and to encourage the dislocation of dissidents, colonists were granted the right to appropriate land on other planets according to whatever method of apportionment the colonists wished to choose - subject, of course, to the needs of the Federation.

The net result of this policy was that most people remaining on earth were Starfleet supporters, and dissidents were strongly encouraged to leave Earth and colonize other parts of the quadrant. While a few colonists, desperate to escape the clutches of Starfleet, left federation space altogether, most could not afford to do so, having been stripped of the right to own weapons by the Federation and thus being almost totally defenseless and needing the protection of Starfleet. But Starfleet protection was not by any means inexpensive. In return for protection, Starfleet demanded complete obedience. Colonists were forbidden from owning energy weapons, warp vessels, or unauthorized replicators. Starfleet was even skeptical about allowing fusion reactors, but ultimately realized the necessity of it. As a result, however, Federation observation posts and starbases were never far away.

Eventually, some few came to understand all that had been lost in the great and glorious transition to an interstellar race, but they did not openly discuss it.

It's funny.  Laugh.

Journal Journal: If I was a professional singer...

For those of you who recall our trip down music lane with Oh Holy Night, you'll LOVE this artist.

Go here and play any of the tracks from the BASIC Album of the Week.

Interested readers will find additional info about the artist and the LP at this nice site.

Side note: this link is also from the same friend Rich who found us Oh Holy Night.


Journal Journal: Rail Burns 8

Sometimes when a train is very heavy (or the breaks are stuck) it won't move.

Most times the amp meter and the spedeometer indicate this to the engineer, and most engineers then stop the locomotive to figure things out.

But not always.

If the wheels spin and spin and spin, but the train goes nowhere, then the friction that builds up from this metal rubbing on metal can melt the rails themselves.

Check out these examples of rail burns.

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